Jump to content

#Brexit Cleansing: What's on the menu.


Seabag

Recommended Posts

I've got wind of a 'renaming not remaining' department being set up by No.10


The brief is to rename everyday items and foods we enjoy, with a new 'non-EU' title. The idea is that there will come a time (much like decimalisation) where 'we' will soon forget the old, and the younger generations will adopt the New British version of a much loved item.


Sainsbury's have been running a trial already, I saw it last week. Potatoes Gratin advertised on the shelf label, showed "Potato and Cheese Bake" on the new packaging. Terminally dull and horribly off putting.


The facts and details are being kept secret thus far, but I'm going to hazard a guess and imagine some of my own. Feel free to add to the list.


Penne pasta bolognese, is to become 'Carbohydrate Tubes with minced beef & tomatoes'


Coq au Vin moves to 'Cock in Wine'


And I hear Parliament are to lobby France to return 'Le Weekend' back to us, in exchange for 'cul-de-sac'

In all it's fairly depressing and makes me despise Teressa 'Vinegar Tits' May even more.



C'Est la vie!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Half our language is of French origin, we're gonna have to go back to grunting*



Eau de Cologne - Bplash It All Over


French Doors - Cor Blimeys


Premier Inn - Lenny's Doss House


Deuce - Even Stevens


Brunette - Mousey Brown


Fianc? - Bird


Entente Cordiale - We Won The War So F*ck Off



*This can already be witnessed and learnt by striking up a conversation with a Black Cab driver...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hopefully this will mean an end to the ridiculous teaching of the metric system in schools. Who cares if it makes far more sense and that most of the world uses it. We managed an empire and single handedly won two world wars with the imperial system. Roll back decimalisation too
Link to comment
Share on other sites

LauraHW Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Hopefully this will mean an end to the ridiculous

> teaching of the metric system in schools. Who

> cares if it makes far more sense and that most of

> the world uses it. We managed an empire and single

> handedly won two world wars with the imperial

> system. Roll back decimalisation too


Three penny bit will be back sharpish


I'll make it so :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The real reason the ridiculously pretentious "courgettes" have disappeared from our shelves this January is now revealed: we can at last have our marrows back (at least when they have had time to demonstrate their British worth and grown to a proper size this coming October). Recipes on request ...
Link to comment
Share on other sites

LauraHW Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Hopefully this will mean an end to the ridiculous

> teaching of the metric system in schools. Who

> cares if it makes far more sense and that most of

> the world uses it. We managed an empire and single

> handedly won two world wars with the imperial

> system. Roll back decimalisation too


Exactly. I wrote to the BBC praising Planet Earth 2. Attenborough knew what he was doing by giving very cold temperatures in degrees Farenheit. It may not make any sense but it is a good British unit, and the American's love it too.


And what's all this business about using base ten. What's wrong with good old fashioned 12, or 16. It's all a European conspiracy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Removing the word 'French' from many familiar things is making me review my previous levels of excitement.


Letters


Bread


Kissing


Man


They all seem so dull and ordinary without the F bit in front. God honestly, the future looks bleak.


And the thought of not being able to elope with the Au Pair , that'll kill some

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Seabag Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Removing the word 'French' from many familiar

> things is making me review my previous levels of

> excitement.

>

> Letters

>

> Bread

>

> Kissing

>

> Man

>

> They all seem so dull and ordinary without the F

> bit in front. God honestly, the future looks

> bleak.

>

> And the thought of not being able to elope with

> the Au Pair , that'll kill some


Oh I don't know Seabag


We can go back to


French Letters replaced by johnnies


French bread replaced by long crusty roll


French kissing by snogging


French man by frog


As for the au pair , obviously you can now snog the nanny before taking her upstairs for a roll with your johnnie on in the frog position


What's not romantic about that ?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • That is clearly not true. I see car drivers breaking the law on an hourly basis - jumping red lights, speeding, not obeying the general rules. Plus they are operating considerably more dangerous machinery and should have a greater responsibility of care to other road uses. You can see who causes the most harm by the stats. 
    • Looking for a suit for an 11 year old. Quite specific, white with black thin stripes.  Trying to replicate Michael Jacksons smooth criminal costume.  A blue linen shirt and white tie.    Thank you !!!!!!!
    • A quick Google found this, amongst other things: "Social impact models are frameworks or approaches that guide how organizations or initiatives address social or environmental problems."
    • "If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck then it must be a duck" comes to mind Unfortunately, a large number of cyclists do exhibit selfish amd anti social behaviour which, regardless of how many good cyclists there are, is seen as the norm.  It's a bit like one car driver jumping a red light and all car drivers getting tarred by the same brush. Perception is the issue and if cyclists all obeyed the rules, everyone would be less anti them but unfortunately that isn't the case 🤔
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...