Breastfeeding in public (surely there cannot still be an issue...)

[malumbu]

We were all breastfed in my family. When my mother had the last of us in 1974 she was down to about 10% and I understand that breastfeeding was considered to be old fashioned, not progressive etc. Please do correct me but I expect that the baby milk manufacturers had a negative role here.

Fast forward to the early 90s when my colleague breastfed when I was in the office. I thought how unusual at the time. But quickly this became pretty normal and that was getting on for 25 years ago.

Just surprised that this is being discussed on Questiontime, when I thought that society had long since moved on. (This is not a question of breast vs bottle I hasten to add, just the acceptably of feeding in public).

[TheCat]

I think that 95% (official figures:))) has moved on and couldn't care less if a woman is breastfeeding in public.

But it gains attention through a combination of vocal members of the 5% of people who are 'offended' by public breastfeeding, combined with the vocal breastfeeding advocates who want to claim victimhood, as if that 5% represents the majority view....

[lavender27]

Fuck the percentages, think of the babies, if they are hungry would you prefer a screeching baby or one who is content.

[SLad]

There is still an issue with breastfeeding in public because certain places still require bfing mothers to cover up or move, and there are some shithead people who think its either okay to denigrate someone for feeding their baby in public or (worse) ogle a breastfeeding mother.

That mothers face the threat of either kind of unwanted attention does put a lot of women off breastfeeding because it effectively ties them to the home or to feeding in loos or b-feeding rooms (usually next to loos).

So, yes, there is still an issue about breastfeeding in public which I suspect is much more pronounced outside London in places like Barnsley.

Happily I don't give a monkeys where I whap my boobs out to feed my babies but I can totally empathise with women who do.

[JohnL]

SLad Wrote:

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> denigrate someone for feeding their baby in public

> or (worse) ogle a breastfeeding mother.

>

Sometimes I wonder if this is what sets some old fashioned men off (those not comfortable in their own skin) - They don't know where to look and are scared someone or the mother will think they are ogling so they get angry.

I can't think of anything less appropriate to ogle - are there really people who would ?

[peterstorm1985]

JohnL Wrote:

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>

> I can't think of anything less appropriate to ogle

> - are there really people who would ?

Are the supposed 'oglers' all ogling, or are they just watching the beauty of a small infant feeding (in much the same way that we all are happy to watch other baby animals feeding from their mothers) and forget that they are also looking at a woman's breast.

[lavender27]

It's because women's breast are portrayed as sex objects, if the baby was feeding from an elbow or shoulder, the oglers' wouldn't ogle so much .

Babies are hungry when they are hungry and it stresses both mother and baby when oglers' cannot keep their perverted ogling eyes on their own food in a restaurant.

[peterstorm1985]

The difference between portrayal and perception. Sadly, you are perceiving that anyone who looks is ogling in a perverted way, whereas I suspect that very few are.

[KidKruger]

well said peter.

it seems there are a lot of 'perverts' out there, who never knew (or did anything) to deserve it, if you read posts above.

[lavender27]

If the cap fits.....

[KidKruger]

if the crap fits, more like !

[lavender27]

Well, we would not all be in this trouble if the cap fitted in the first place.

[keano77]

SLad Wrote:

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> Happily I don't give a monkeys where I whap my

> boobs out to feed my babies but I can totally

> empathise with women who do.

Sorry to burst your bubble but in my opinion well-brought up women do not

..."whap my boobs out..."

in public.

Ever heard of bottles for hungry babies?

I've travelled to poor parts of the world over the years and seen women breast feed their children on buses, trains and in public generally. I have no problem with that - they are poor.

To see people in the likes of East Dulwich do it, or the Australian Parliament or elsewhere, there is no excuse - they are only trying to make a silly statement.

I suspect many people who have read this silly thread are too frightened to tell it as it is.

[JoeLeg]

Keano mate, so you're saying - if I understand correctly - that if you have the money you should only use formula and bottles in public?

Well, that's a...viewpoint, certainly.

[east-of-the-Rye]

A few points - very little breast is usually visible when feeding a baby - in this generally cold climate, any flesh not covered by baby is covered by clothes, so "oglers" seldom see much.

Keano77 - why carry round a bottle of cows/soya milk that then needs reheating when the ideal stuff in in the breast waiting to be fed to the baby?

I fed my (now 24 & 20 year old)children in church, parks, cafes, libraries and on buses and trains. Most of the time, other people simply did not notice.

[lavender27]

Breast is Best for baby.

[keano77]

I agree lavender and nobody is doing anything wrong by breast feeding in public.

The point I'm making is there is a time and a place for everything and manners and consideration for others ought to come into consideration.

There has been a spate of stories in the news where women have been stopped from breast feeding or asked politely to do it discretely only for them to take to social media claiming how humiliated they felt and so on. Off the top of my head some recent high profile cases were a lady having tea at Claridges, a woman in the V&A and a former Senator making a point in the Australian Parliament.

The woman in Claridges could easily have expressed milk in advance and used a bottle or asked to use a discrete place. Why did she assume other guests paying up to ?150 for dainty sandwiches and fine cakes and pastries would be happy to see her breast feed in front of them.

There is an attitude among some that it's my right to breast feed my child anytime any place and if others don't like it they can lump it

[JohnL]

I'm never going to sit on my own looking into a pint at pubs - I'll always look around and see who I drink with (maybe it's a Welsh type thing) - I actually talk to loads of people I don't know too :). It's good to know whats happening around you - I have an idea of who's where and who's doing what wherever I am.

But if I ever felt anyone was uncomfortable I'd avert my eyes.

[Angelina]

I bf both of my daughters, frequently while we were out, as we usually were. If people watched it didn't bother me at all as they were just not on my radar. If I did notice, I'd just smile as I don't ever think I had any hostility.

Some of my gay friends were really curious (as they were at all stages of my pregnancies), but I can assure you that that was not oggling, just a really beautiful curiosity.

If anyone were abusive to a woman feeding a baby, I would hope that anyone nearby would step in and say something.

And if anyone is uncomfortable around it, then they have every right to walk away and not be chastised for it. They don't have the right to complain though.

[womanofdulwich]

I feel I must point out to some people that if you are breast feeding solely, it's hard to get your baby to take from a bottle.Not everyone can express milk.

[Saffron]

Agreed, womanofdulwich, re expressing and bottles.

Also worth pointing out that the price of a meal has literally zero to do with where you can breastfeed, which is actually a right protected under the Equalities Act 2010 (England and Wales).

So, yes, others can indeed lump it.

[Nigello]

So, yes, others can indeed lump it.

Gracious, no?

I am against anyone not being able to feed their baby when in it is necessary (for the baby, not the mother) but I am also against anyone who feels uncomfortable because of proximity, noise, smell, etc. not being able to politely say so lest they get a condescending backlash that this kind of unaccommodating and uncivil comment would seem to represent.

[JoeLeg]

But we aren't talking here about adults with cans of lager, or smelly takeaway food, or the table next Toby ou in a restaurant swearing loudly.

When an infant needs to be fed...well, it needs to be fed. If the mother has decided to to breast feed then that's what she has to do. It's feeding a small, helpless child, I'm not really sure what there is to be offended by?

[Nigello]

Feeding noises, smells, crying can all be annoying, whether you like to admit it or not. Not being able to say so because it has been deemed that all breast feeding at all times in all situations must be allowed and welcomed is unrealistic and unfair. Absolutism in small, public spaces is not a good idea for anyone. Consideration of others has to come into it, even if it is not the main part of the equation. That's how we all rub along together, or at least that is the theory....

[TE44]

Yes the theory we all rub along together and an attempt to understand others may be made for this to happen but when someone has a problem with nature and basic survival then i really do think it is for the person with this problem that must try to understand what its about. I was the first person in my family to breastfeed and there was an uncomfortableness around it with my first, i could understand it as after all they were my family. Whos children were to grow up and make the same decisions to feed there children, of course they got over it, and actually recognised it as a choice. We live in a world where people are more and more unconnected with nature as someone says above this is not some anti social trend it is survival.