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Starship Enterprise

Spartacus

By Spartacus
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Spartacus

Spartacus

Posted
Posted

This is one of those questions that perplexes me


I have finally solved the question of where the toilet is on the starship enterprise (it is left behind the turbo life, first conduit and right again !!!)


but where on earth is the laundry room as a ship that size must start to smell after a while if they don't wash those oh so retro yellow jumpers


Can anyone help solve this mystery ?

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HAL9000

HAL9000

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Posted

In the Star Trek universe, post-replicator starships do not have laundry rooms, silly. They recycle dirty uniforms via the anti-matter reactor and use the energy to replicate clean ones. Every cabin has an ensuite sonic shower and loo. The crew's poo is recycled into whatever else they require, including food.


Didn?t they teach you anything at Starfleet Academy, ensign Sparticus?

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bigbadwolf

bigbadwolf

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Has anyone ever noticed that none of the crew of any Starfleet vessel ever went for a shit. Or even expressed the desire to go for one either.


An amazing display of sexual restraint on behalf of the entire ships compliment as well. If I had counselor Troi under my command I'd be up her like a Ferret.

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Muley

Muley

Posted
Posted
"Replicator, I'm an obscure never-seen-before member of the Enterprise crew about to be beamed down to the surface of that unexplored planet with Kirk, Spock and Bones. My chances of survival are not looking great. I would like todays uniform to be bullet, laser beam and alien proof please..."
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Keef

Keef

Posted
Posted
Very good point Mockney. Scotty appeared in an episode of Next Gen (think it was called relic), because he'd been "trapped" mid transport for x amount of years, yet materialised in good health. Surely then, they could just "save" a copy of you (which you'd update at regular intervals in order to keep memories current), then if you expired, you could be easily replaced.
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mockney piers

mockney piers

Posted
Posted

It exists in the culture novels. You just back yourself up every now and then and if you die you have an identical body grown and you have your backup popped in, all you've lost are me

ories and experiences since your last backup.


Makes dramtic tension difficult when all that's at stake is the last 45 minutes of kirks wooden script delivery I suppose.

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Spartacus

Spartacus

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  • Author
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bigbadwolf Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Has anyone ever noticed that none of the crew of

> any Starfleet vessel ever went for a shit. Or even

> expressed the desire to go for one either.

>

> An amazing display of sexual restraint on behalf

> of the entire ships compliment as well. If I had

> counselor Troi under my command I'd be up her like

> a Ferret.



Two amazingly good questions


Number 1 (Scenario) the Borg are attacking, resistance is futile and yet not one hint of a trouser bellow is heard, or any indication of someone in the background screaming "Sod this I am off before I sh!t myself" How does that work then


Number 2 - Forget Troi ....Seven of Nine would make the crew stay up all night playing with their 'Gel Packs' or whatever



and don't get me started on inter-species procreation ... I mean do all aliens have 2 eyes, 2 legs, 2 arms and the same genitalia as us ?? Surely if they do then it indicates that there is a supreme being out there guiding the universe (and I am not talking Q) and speaking of which why do all aliens in the Delta Quadrant speak perfect American English ? I mean not one hint of a Jamican twang "yo cptn the ooomans are atacking but dis is one wicked spliff i is smoking man" I mean wouldn't that be as likely as American English....


At least I can still dream that Resistance is Futile and just submit to Seven's borg charms (Fnnnr Fnnnrr)

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bigbadwolf

bigbadwolf

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Posted

"And don't get me started on inter-species procreation ... I mean do all aliens have 2 eyes, 2 legs, 2 arms and the same genitalia as us ?? Surely if they do then it indicates that there is a supreme being out there guiding the universe (and I am not talking Q) and speaking of which why do all aliens in the Delta Quadrant speak perfect American English ? I mean not one hint of a Jamican twang "yo cptn the ooomans are atacking but dis is one wicked spliff i is smoking man" I mean wouldn't that be as likely as American English...."



Good God Spartacus. Do make sure not to leave anything out.



"At least I can still dream that Resistance is Futile and just submit to Seven's borg charms (Fnnnr Fnnnrr)"



I prefer to take my assimilated piece of science fiction arse by force thank you very much. Not succumb to their robotic suggestivity and knockers.

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