Jump to content

extra terrestrials


rgutsell

Recommended Posts

"Take us to your leader."


"Actually, we don't have a leader as such, we're more a loose federation of all different sorts of people, bound together by the common chance of geography. There is admin and the moderators, I suppose, but I'm not sure they'd appreciate the extra workload. You could always put an ad on the Forum asking for a meet with a leader, or maybe start a thread. But do a search before you start one because it really pisses people off if you just go over the old 'hand over your first born, we are here to exterminate you' stuff again, because we had that with the Zenorians, and they all got banned and stuff."


"Fuckin'hell, Dave. We're off to Vegas,"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We gave the Zenorians a street and in return they gave us a Warehouse, and did fill it with all the wonders of the universe.


And soon they broadcasted through their common consciousness the message, "The people of ED will buy any old shit" and then came traders from the Celestial, Eddeli and Mootoo planets, and made a killing.


After a while some of them achieved Moderator status on the EDF where messages to keep spending were spread, and in time, all ED was under their command.


Posters who suspected their true lizard-like identity were soon neutralised.


Only the truth-teller Macroban was left, defying them with tales of impending doom and snappily linked research into public leasehold agreements. Yet Macroban too fell silent...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

UFO's are hibernating monolithic Von Neumann/Bracewell Probes parked by ancient alien visitors amongst the Greeks and Trojans of Jupiter. They were awoken by nuclear detonations in Nevada, which were interpreted as evidence that an intelligent species had evolved on Earth. They came, looked around, abducted a few mammals but didn't find any intelligence worth writing home about and returned to Jupiter to await further developments.


I should know. I had a run in with one of them back in 2001 and am scheduled to make contact again in 2010, if they don?t track me down first.


So, yes, my presence here could precipitate first contact in East Dulwich. Be afraid, very afraid!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Fear 'n boozin Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I've always wondered why our Martian friends have

> been so obsessed with visiting the Nevadan desert

> over the past half century or so. It's not as if

> there's anything there for them to see (unless

> they are secretly visiting Vegas).



Well, frankly, we can do without a group of funny little fellas with a massive gambling problem who, based on reports, have an interest verging on obsession with the anal-probing of intellectually subnormal rednecks: i bet they don't even read the guardian...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

bignumber5 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Fear 'n boozin Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > I've always wondered why our Martian friends

> have

> > been so obsessed with visiting the Nevadan

> desert

> > over the past half century or so. It's not as

> if

> > there's anything there for them to see (unless

> > they are secretly visiting Vegas).

>

>

> Well, frankly, we can do without a group of funny

> little fellas with a massive gambling problem who,

> based on reports, have an interest verging on

> obsession with the anal-probing of intellectually

> subnormal rednecks: i bet they don't even read the

> guardian...



Shite...could be me

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi all


Ok


Enough of this nonsense.


Now for some serious, important stuff.


I have it on the highest authority that even as we speak a race of highly intelligent, pan galactic, and intra dimensional alien beings is gathering on the edges of the solar system, getting ready to invade. The signal that they were waiting for was the installation of a certain alien shrub in the centre of a roundabout of a certain neighbourhood.


The reason that it has taken some time for the signal to get through, is that some thought that it was quite a normal thing to do, and therefore it went unnoticed to begin with.


The best thing to do in the event of the invasion is to go to the EDT (Extra Dimensional Terrestrial) and quickly down two pints, whilst quoting Douglas Adams. Bring a towel (for the spilt beer).


Good luck.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • What would I do about cyclists?  The failed Tory manfesto commitment to train all kids was an excellent proposal.  Public information campaigns aimed at all road users, rather than singling some out, to more considerately share the road, as TfL have done, is welcome too. As for crunching vehicles.  I'd extend this to illegal ebikes, illegal e-scoooters (I think some local authorities have done this with the latter) but before that I would (a) legislate that the delivery companies move away from zero hours contracts to permanent employees and take responsibility for their training, vehicles and behaviour on the road.   More expensive takeaways are a price worth paying for safer roads and proper terms and conditions (b) legislate to register all illegal e-bikes and scooters so that when they are found on the road the retailer takes a hit, and clamp down on any grey markets.  If you buy an e scooter say from Halfords this comes with a disclaimer that it can only be used on private land with the owner's permission.
    • I know a lot of experts in the field and getting a franchise was a license to print money, that is why Virgin were so happy to spend lots of dosh challenging government ten years ago when they lost the West Coast franchise.  This will not be overnight, rather than when the franchise has come to the end. Government had previously taking over the operator of last resort when some TOCs screwed up. Good, at last some clear blue water between the parties.  Tories said they were going to do a halfway house, but I've not noticed.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_British_Railways   : "On 19 October 2022, Transport Secretary Anne-Marie Trevelyan announced that the Transport Bill which would have set up GBR would not go ahead in the current parliamentary session.[15] In February 2023, Transport Secretary Mark Harper re-affirmed the government's commitment to GBR and rail reform.[16] The 2023 King's speech announced the progression of a draft Rail Reform Bill which would enable the establishment of GBR, although it has not been timetabled in the Parliamentary programme.[5] The Transport Secretary Mark Harper later told the Transport Select Committee that the legislation was unlikely to reach Royal Assent within the 2023-2024 parliamentary session.[17]"
    • Can't help thinking that regardless of whether Joe wanted to be interviewed, the 'story' that Southwark News wanted to write just got a lot less interesting with 'tyre shop replaced with ... tyre shop'! 
    • Labour are proposing to nationalise the railways, (passenger trains but not fright)  Whilst it removes them from shareholders control, and potential profit chasing, is it workable or will it end up costing tax payers more in the long run?  On paper the idea is interesting but does it also need the profitable freight arm included to help reduce fares,? 
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...