Jump to content

Rapture


StraferJack

Recommended Posts

Does US based Evangelical shite actually need putting into perspective?

In all fairness it's not exclusive to them is it, eschatology seems to be a pretty recurring theme in history/humanity.


I think it's something to do with wanting to feel significant.

That some cosmological epoch will happen in your lifetime, because otherwise you die, the world carries on, forgets about you and you didn't matter after all.

You really were just a cosmic accident, a brief flurry of atoms behaving in an unusual fashion before it all breaks down to baser components and you're shat out by a worm.


Just saying like.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The rapture is just the taking to heaven of the chosen few. So if you are a committed Christian, it's bye bye. For the rest...


http://www.barterbooks.co.uk/catalog/images/books/kcmug.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Rapture Idiots pray for a final global conflict, so Jebus can come and battle Satan. This obviously means that we all die, but the Evanglists get fast tracked to heaven, whereas non Evangelicals go to hell to eat turds all day be be poked in the arse by pitchfork wielding devils for all eternity.


If L Ron had written this toss, we could have laughed it off - the fact that potentially the most important religious lobby group in the world believes this is rather scary.


Not just nutters, but sadistic selfish nutters

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think we have to wait another 5 months for the end of the world though, which is happening on October 21st. That's my birthday which is a bit inconvenient!


As I understand it we have 5 months of turmoil with all us sinners left in anguish, then we all kark it! Something like that anyway!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Annette Curtain Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> If everything goes as Oakland minister Harold

> Camping predicts, the Bay Area will suffer a

> world-ending earthquake around 6 p.m. Saturday,


It's like a Hollywood movie rule - every modern major event involving nature, aliens and religion must happen in the US.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm guessing Stephen Hawking's name isn't on the list of those who are due to be lifted bodily yea unto the right hand of the Lord then.


Personally I shall be on or near the Golden Hinde.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Why couldn't they have waited a week and had it on the bank holiday?


Not bad enough that these 'executed-beardy-man' worshippers plonked religious days all over the shop thus spoiling yuletide, summer and autumn solstices AND the annual Easter (a.k.a. Ostare, Ostara, Ostern, Eostra, Eostre, Eostur, Eastra, Eastur, Austron and Ausos)piss up, but now they start inventing new ones!


This is quite apart from the fact that May 21st is the start of the month of the Elk for our native American brothers and also the day on which the ancient Roman God Vediovis should receive tribute - though where I am going to find a female goat with all this rapture nonsense going on beats me.


Grrrr, bloody Christians.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

StraferJack Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> remember that if people want to believe made-up

> fairytales, we have to respect that right.

>

> And their feelings when they catch us making fun

> of them


They're christians so we'll just ask them to forgive us (Bill Hicks 1992)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

heres the maths behind this rapture date


1. The number 5 equals ?atonement?, the number 10 equals ?completeness?, and the number 17 equals ?heaven?.

2. Christ hung on the cross on April 1, 33 AD. The time between April 1, 33 AD and April 1, 2011 is 1,978 years.

3. If 1,978 is multiplied by 365.2422 days (the number of days in a solar year), the result is 722,449.

4. The time between April 1 and May 21 is 51 days.

5. 51 + 722,449 = 722,500.

6. (5 ? 10 ? 17)2 or (atonement ? completeness ? heaven)2 also equals 722,500.


so there, its PROVEN

Link to comment
Share on other sites

huncamunca Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I think I should enlist to be saved. just hedging

> me bets like. dont have much time - whats the best

> way to do this?



You're in the wrong thread

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On an early plane to Scotland where by 3pm I'll be up to my waist in the glorious upper Tweed fly fishing for trout with my Dad. Just like old times. Which is WEIRD as this is also how I'd choose to spend my last day on earth....
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • Please post a number for humble taxpayers to speak to a real person, if you have one.  Emails go unanswered and phone calls via the switchboard likewise. 
    • The physio wasn't physically based at The Gardens, just attached to the surgery rather than my having to be referred to a hospital physio department.
    • Hi There Today we lost a small black leather backpack in the vicinity of Dulwich picture gallery / Dulwich park / Eynella Road.    Morning of 28/3/24.    If found, please drop me a message and I can confirm details of contents and arrange to retrieve it.    Thanks. 
    • Hello!  I wanted to share The Dulwich Cake Co with you all. The Instagram link is below where you can follow along my baking journey, see all my cakes, and enquire / order via message. i make cakes for all occasions but particularly love custom children’s birthday cakes..: Next up is an Frozen themed cake for next weekend! It’s a relatively new page, but keen to find more local followers and get everyone trying my cakes! Birthday cakes, christenings, any celebrations, as well as mini Bento message cakes. Have a very Happy Easter! 🐣  https://www.instagram.com/thedulwichcakeco?igsh=MXZid29vYWIyOGtyZA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr  
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...