Hi all

[DavinaD]

Hi there, I am new to this forum. I chose your forum simply because although it is quite big, its not hugely ginormous and I don't think I am about to bump into anyone from your area as I don't live anywhere near East Dulwich. Thought I'd say hi

Davina

[HonaloochieB]

Bit difficuly to know whether what you want to say would offend or 'trigger' something in others without knowing the details Davina.

Speaking strictly for myself I say go ahead. Others may have differing views.

[*Bob*]

I'm all ears. Though naturally I don't believe a word of it already.

[Nero]

Go ahead, post away. You don't need permission, but you probably should know that some people will be amused, others appalled, some disgusted, others disinterested etc, and any one of those people might tell you and others what they think. If you are prepared for that, then go ahead. It might, though, be as good or even better for you to talk to a stranger at the end of a phone line, such as Childline, Sane, the Samaritans, NHS direct, or even your GP. Nero

[DavinaD]

I see your point Nero, kind of opening myself up for all kinds really, maybe not such a good idea after all.

[Cassius]

Sorry to sound cruel Davina but it sounds to me like you need validation. Not sure if this is the right place to come for it.

[KalamityKel]

I'm sure if you really wanted to converse wiv some people on here many would be just as happy to offer some assistance altho I think you would be better off doing it via private messaging :)

[david_carnell]

It's a public forum, you're posting in the "lounge" section; unless you're a troll or a flamer then go for it. I'd echo Nero's point though - what reaction you'll get is anyone's guess. Plus if this is dodgy, Mr Administrator is known to deal with these things swiftly.

[DavinaD]

I kind of just liked the whole annonymous thing, you don't even have to hear a voice, just tapping on a keyboard, and somethngs are easier to write than to say down a telephone or to a person.

[Cassius]

Davina - you've had several posts saying yes - go ahead and one from me making an observation which you don't like and this is your reaction. How will you react if someone really lays into you which you suggested in your first post might happen? Like Nero said - the reactions you will get will vary and you have to be able to take the criticisms as well as the praise.

After all you did say "actually, I don't really mind how you reply as I really would like to just get this all off my chest and be done with" do you really mean that?

[ChavWivaLawDegree]

One thing you need to think about regarding responses is that some people get brave in their anonymity and say pretty horrible things they might not otherwise have the balls to say to someone face to face. You need to be able to weed out what is brave but good critisism and what is cowardly and abusive.

The way I would deal with that is by imagining what sad and crappy lives the nasty posters have and letting their comments slide off like water off a ducks back. Never take any of that kind of stuff personally as it is really a reflection of the poster, but be prepared to receive it.

[DavinaD]

Yeah, point taken, I hope I didn't sound like I was ranting to you Cassius, didn't mean for it to come across like that. Don't think I'm strong enough to take criticism in relation to it all, on account I know it was not my fault, I was kind of hoping for a "hit and run" situation, where I would say my shit, log off and never return again!

[Jah Lush]

Excellent advice Nero and CWALD.

Now can DaviniaD can you get to the point and say what you want to and then perhaps we can discuss it.

[KalamityKel]

mayb in summary if you're not sure how friendly we are ;-)

[DavinaD]

Yeah, thats a good idea Kalamity Kel, I quite like the summary thing, don't have to go into major detail or anything, and I quite like the "hit and run" and don't look back at the aftermath thing, I've only just joined so it won't be that hard to lose my log in details on account I have the memory of a goldfish where those things are concerned, and a good idea from you too Chavwivalawdegree to imagine negative commentors in that way. I will do it tonight, gotta run to pick up the sprogs from afterschool club and feed them, once they're in bed will get on with it.

X

[david_carnell]

Are you Britney in disguise?

[mightyroar]

maybe you could ask someone on the forum who has responded if you can PM them your story, rather than post it to the whole world.

You say you have to tell someone, but does that have to be a group?

If it is very traumatic and potentially triggering I would sincerely doubt whether thrusting it into the lounge of this forum is a good idea. Much of the stuff on here is trivial and jokey, and although there are many serious discussions too they often get very impassioned and heated and personal. Which isnt necessarily conducive to the healing process.

[DavinaD]

Haha! that was funny! LOL

[KalamityKel]

*whacks David*

[*Bob*]

Big build-up. Looks like it's going to be a cathartic evening for everyone.

[LizzygotDizzy]

I would have no problem with you posting Davina, and I think it was really sweet of you to warn people in advance of the possible contents, and I think if you really need to get things off your chest then the "hit and run" method you spoke of might work, as long as you didn't get tempted to look back and then get upset and feel you were being vicitmised all over again, or the pm-ing your story to someone on here. Your situation is not one that is unusual either, and I think more and more people are starting to realise that and also starting to realise that all those years ago, when they thought they were the only ones it was happening to, that it was going on all the time, it was just barely spoken of. There are a lot more resources out there now than there ever was for adults and children in situations like yours. A good one is "SandF.org "Survivors and Friends support for survivors", you might want to try one of those. But be warned, sometimes reading through the posts on there can be quite depressing and traumatic and they all come with "trigger" warnings, well most of them do, people who have been through that kind of thing can comfort eachother and support eachother but I don't really know whether or not that is a good thing as there is no professional help on there.

Liz

[Shu.Kurimu.Sensei]

Or not. Is yet another meme or attention whore really that interesting?

For the record I went through over 4 years of hell due to 2 types of mental illness but felt no compulsion to post the sad and boring details about it on some random forum just to feel better about coming out the other end.

Type up your "my drug hell" or whatever you aim to ramble on about and post it to 20 or so insitutions and move on.

I bet this isn't the first, nor the last forum you have posted about this anyway.

Must move on - as the onion seller thread is far more compelling.

[LizzygotDizzy]

Shu.Kurimu.Sensei Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Or not. Is yet another meme or attention whore

> really that interesting?

>

> For the record I went through over 4 years of hell

> due to 2 types of mental illness but felt no

> compulsion to post the sad and boring details

> about it on some random forum just to feel better

> about coming out the other end.

>

> Type up your "my drug hell" or whatever you aim to

> ramble on about and post it to 20 or so

> insitutions and move on.

>

> I bet this isn't the first, nor the last forum you

> have posted about this anyway.

>

> Must move on - as the onion seller thread is far

> more compelling.

And then you get tw@ts like that! Looks like you still have a few problems there Shu that need sorting out! Or are you alright now? don't sound it!

[KalamityKel]

If you don't like wot your read back track and ignore the post instead of responding wiv rubbish like that Shu.

[Shu.Kurimu.Sensei]

So troll baiting is no longer seen as fair game then?

LOL at the above 2 posts, such intellectually stimulating responses :)) :)-D >:D< that the best you can do?