Advice needed re Au Pair pocket money and other allowances

[budur]

Dear families or au pairs, I need some advice (searched the forum but couldn't find anything relevant). We will be hosting our first au pair for a year starting in summer and although we decided on the basic arrangements I get questions from the candidates that I don't really know the answers for.

We have two kids: 2 year old and 5 year old. The older one will be in school full time and the younger one in nursery 3 days a week, so it would be 30-35 hours a week until 6 pm, weekend free plus may be 1 evening babysitting a week, more hours during school holidays. We have a cleaner, so only light housework tidying up after kids etc., must be a good driver.

What we are thinking is: ?100 a week pocket money, return flights to UK paid plus flights home for Christmas, 4 weeks of paid holidays a year plus free bank holidays. What about language courses? I had a look at English language courses in Clapham mentioned somewhere and they look very expensive. I saw some ESOL language in Peckham but I don't know if they are good. I attended council run French language courses in the past (not in ED) and they were around ?100 for a term or half term, don't remember exactly, which I think is more reasonable. Are we expected to pay for these? And what about some money on the oyster card, gym membership? I want our au pair to be fairly paid and happy to pay or contribute towards these extra things, so any advice would be greatly appreciated. thanks a lot

[Otta]

?100 a week pocket money?

Can I be your Au Pair please.

[lightweight]

I think I'd be tempted to take a one year sabbatical off work for the kind of deal :P

[astrid83]

I first came to England from Sweden in 2002, and worked as an Au pair in two different families. It sounds like your future Au pair will be treated very well by you, which of course is very important.

I had less luck and found the whole experience quite miserable. And I can't imagine how I survived on ?60/week, of course food was free and I did not have to pay for accommodation but I wasn't made to feel very welcome outside working hours so I would end up walking to the corner shop, buy food and eat it in my bedroom. Might sound a bit bonkers but I was not allowed in the kitchen after 7pm, which is when I finished my working day so I had no choice really. Fortunately I am a bit more mature now and would not allow to be treated in that way, but it's hard when you are in a new country, away from your family and friends.

So all I am saying, whoever you choose to employ will be very lucky and will hopefully have a good time looking after your children! I remember doing a language course in Crystal Palace during my first year here, I payed for it myself though, can't remember how much.

[astrid83]

Regards to gym membership and oyster card - I had friends who's gym membership was payed for but I don't think that is very common. Not sure though. Regarding travel money, is your Au Pair likely to use public transport when she is looking after the kids? In that case, yes, travel should be covered by you. If it's only for her own use outside working hours then it's up to you really. I got my pocket money and that was that, nothing more but I don't think there are any general rules about these things.

[caroandcj]

Hi

We paid our au pair ?100 per week for 38hrs per week incl. 2 hrs on a Saturday and 3 night babysitting a week. In addition we contributed ?50 per month toward her Oyster Card and ?20 per month for her mobile bill. We also put her on our membership for JAGS.

[budur]

astrid, i wonder how the families that treat au pairs like that are not afraid to leave kids in their care.

money for the oyster card and gym membership if she would want sound like a fair deal (need to find out how much our local gym membership is, annoyingly they don't say it on the website). i am sure if au pair is flexible and willing to help over what is strictly necessary (not that we expect or need it that but you never know what circumstances may arise) we would of course be willing to contribute towards more things, but it's difficult to know what she'll be like until she arrives (we haven't even chosen one yet).

[sarahnickharry]

Hi We've had lots of au pairs over the years and our current and last one have the following deal - ?90 per week for 25 hours + 2 nights babysitting, oyster card - which we top up about ?30 per month, UK mobile PAYG phone - we pay about ?25 per month for that.

Having known friends who've paid alot less it's not worth it - they don't stay long and they aren't going to be great with your kids - i think what you're offering is fair and i think offering flights home etc is always good. We've never offered that in advance but have done it for christmas along usually with christmas bonus. We also treat our au pairs as very much part of the family, i think you want them to enjoy being with you and your children, it's a really important part of why they're here. In terms of language schools, most of ours have gone to Clapham - to the old town and our current au pair tops this up with a twice weekly evening class in Brockley which she says is brilliant for spoken English. Don't know if that helps.

[astrid83]

Budur, well exactly! That's why I am happy to see that people like you are doing the right thing. The Au Pair role is not easy. Most of the girls who come over are quite young, it might be their first time away from home, in a new country with a new language and multiple culture crashes. It's very important that they are made to feel welcome.

[budur]

I am limiting the age to over 22s, my kids are too young for high school graduates and as you said it may be their first time away from home and they can become homesick (and want to go back home as a result).

I suppose I know what it must feel like to come as an au pair since I went to USA as a student at 17, last year in a high school as an exchange student living in a host family for a year. My English was fluent as I won a scholarship and just went to a local normal American school but even without kids to look after it was a challenge, mainly cultural, massive difference with mine, even though the family was nice. And that was at the time of no internet, e-mail, very expensive international calls and 12 h time difference with home. And pocket money was $100 a month paid by the government.

[WorkingMummy]

Ours has ?100 per week. Her hours have varied but supposedly 25 per week (she has often done a lot more).

We have three children though, and she moved in when newborn was one day old. She worked whenever I needed her in those days and was so helpful and kind.

We treat her as one of the family. She eats with us, is welcome to anything from fridge etc. I think this us the key to happiness of us all.

Ours us leaving this week and we are all sad about it.

We did not pay for flights but she was here already.