Fussy eaters - light at the end of the tunnel

[Fuschia]

For anyone in despair over a fussy toddler.

My no 1 child has always been the fussiest child you could imagine. Has some sensory issues too, and is veggy like me. At the age of 4 he would eat only about 10 things and they had to be EXACT and not touching (particular shape of pasta, no sauce, particular type of veggy sausage etc, one of a small list of approved veg.

Roll forward 6 years and 3 more children who didn't inherit the same extreme fussiness (or blw combined with very laid back approach might have swung it, and peer pressure)

This weekend I bought the ingredients for two new meals, feeling fairly confident most children would eat enough to get by. So nice to be brave enough to experiment.

Yesterday made lamb stew, a chick pea stew, both with load of veg.ashed potato, roasted squash with Halloumi and stir fried leeks with cabbage. A mixture of new things and familiar ones. After a bit of fuss from a couple of them, (baby sobbed 'I don't like it! Until he saw everyone else was eating it, had it moved to a different bowl and served himself lots of cabbage)

Twin 2 also moaned but then went on to eat most of it, giving left over lamb to twin 1 who scoffed away (he likes meat) leaving just a few chickpeas which the baby pinched.

Oldest mr fussy grumbled but ate a small portion

Of everything veggy.

Mr f, learnt from experience not to turn his own nose up, ate it all with extreme enthusiasm.

I say all this just to give you hope!

I am

Making Thai noodles tonight with either Thai style roast chicken or tofu and veg sate sticks.

It's amazing to be able to cook a bit of variety.

Hang in there, those of you with fussy toddlers. Time heals all, just get by until they teach the stage where they are less rigid.

I adopted the approach of cooking enough things that no one would starve but I didn't go

Mad with the monotony, then letting them

Mostly serve themselves with a bit of tasting small bits. So much easier when you have several

Children and the focus is less on the one child and their plate.

[Saffron]

Fuschia Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I adopted the approach of cooking enough things

> that no one would starve but I didn't go

> Mad with the monotony, then letting them

> Mostly serve themselves with a bit of tasting

> small bits. So much easier when you have several

> Children and the focus is less on the one child

> and their plate.

Just to pick up on your last bit... Mr Saff and I have only one child, but we have noticed she often eats better when we have friends (her or ours, or both) over for meals, all sitting round the table together. Also, (mostly) serving herself is helpful too. She's not a fussy eater in general, but we've certainly been through fussy episodes. Definitely taking the focus off the child has helped for us too. And it's been a great excuse for having friends round for meals often!

[Fuschia]

I am not posting out of smugness (a la 'of course ignatius really loves sprouts') but just to give hope to others still in the trenches

[Saffron]

Haha, I cannot even imagine you being smug! F, you're one of the least smug and most grounded people I know. But being persistent and not giving up is something any mother can be proud of! xx

[pebbles]

Thank you Fuschia, indeed a post to make me hopeful. My 5 yr old boy is fussy as anything and my 3 yr old girl will eat absolutely anything that is put in front of her and more!!

I no longer have battles as i just feed him what i know he will eat and she eats the same as us. I think i just think he will stop being fussy at some point and I'm hoping that school can deal with the issues rather than me!!!

It's lovely to hear that there is indeed a light at the end of the tunnel so thanks :)

[Fuschia]

It's definitely a stage, the fussy eating. Of course everything is a stage, but somehow when it's our lovingly crafted meals that are being rejected, and social occasions are fraught (hah, only the last two years have we survived Christmas Day without veggy sausages!) it's hard to relax and trust it will come right.

I certainly suffered for the best part of 9 years. And even now sauces, pizza are not on child no 1's menu.

But I am gleeful

Mashed potato!

Curly kale!

Leeks and cabbage

Baked squash

Asparagus

Stir fried sugar snap peas

Spicy tofu

Even the fussiest child eventually tires of pasta with butter and fish fingers, it seems. I fear only for the future sustainability of Birds Eye!

[KatDew]

Now if you've got any tips to get my 5 year old to eat potatoes..... he'll eat most things (some under duress) he's a reasonably good eater if a bit slow but I've never persuaded him to eat potatoes (yes even chips)

Thankfully small persons number 2 and 3 are much better eaters. In fact small person number 2 regularly seems to eat her body weight in food and yet is always a skinny titchy thing

[Fuschia]

No 1 child has always been the same with potatoes. I got him into to mashed sweet potato though (with a drizzle of honey) then mixed half and half with mashed potato. He will now eat one small dollop of mash. Which is progress

[snowboarder]

Fuschia Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

...At the age of 4 he would eat

> only about 10 things and they had to be EXACT and

> not touching (particular shape of pasta, no sauce,

> particular type of veggy sausage etc, one of a

> small list of approved veg...

It's like the 'your child will eventually sleep' posts though isn't it?!? I kind of want to believe it but can't...Both mine are fussy as you like. We have about 5/6 (max) meals on rotation. I'm at the stage where I consider pesto a form of vegetable and chips are new on the menu. My nearly 4 yr old is as above and it drives me MAD - mainly because I love food of all types!!

What do people do about school lunches with fussy ones? Oldest due to start school in september - I've seen the weekly menus, he will literally eat nothing (and the peer pressure/eating in company thing - it makes hi way worse not better). Do you give in and do sandwiches, or go for the 'if he's starving he may eat' philosophy?

(Potatoes are you only worry??? phew...)

[Fuschia]

Ds1 he had school dinners for 18m, with me regularly being infirmed he had eaten just salad or veg plus pudding. Eventually I stopped wasting my money and started making packed lunches. A tedious task and very repetitive as the only sandwich filling he likes is hummous. Can't win.

[Fuschia]

Ps He is reasonably tall, rarely ill. So it can't have done him too much harm.

And let's remember this is a vegetarian child who still won't eat most types of cheese, many nuts, any pulses except in hummous ...

[snowboarder]

Oldest snowboarder is the same - sturdy and hardly ever ill - I think we will have to do sandwiches - dairylea only - yum....

[Jacks50]

My 8 year old is still really fussy. almost scared of new food. at school they have to have cooked lunches and he hardly eats anything - a bit of bread and cheese on some days. I really thought he would have grown out of it by now and I'm beginning to think he's not going too. The only thing that has improved is the way he deals with it - instead of having a tantrum about the new food he just says "no thank you"!!. My middle child isn't much better.

I'd love some advice if anyone has been through the same through the same thing with an slightly older child!

[Crokes]

I confess I am a former fussy eater - as a child if I had a playdate, my mum would send me with a pot of jam or tub of dairylea because I hardly ate anything! I also had the same sandwich filling almost my entire school life! My mum spoke to a doctor about the lack of variety/healthy food and quantity but he pointed out that I was happy and running around with lots of energy, so not to worry, I'd grow out of it.

I'm not sure if this is helpful or not, but whilst the list of foods did increase/improve, my fussy eating stage was quite a long one. I was in my teens before I really 'got into' veg and readily tried things but now I eat nearly everything and LOVE veg! I vividly remember my parents trying to get me to eat/try things (with no luck at all really). I think the worst thing was their efforts/battles to get me to eat things - it made me more determinded not to (even if I was curious), so I agree with Fuschia - letting them choose to have small bits (or letting them think they are choosing) is much more likely to get results.

Best of luck to any of you in the same boat with your little ones!

[crystal7]

This is heartening to read fuchsia! My 4 year old is incredibly fussy and I regularly loose the will to live trying to get her to try new things. Like pebbles and snowboarder I just serve her something I know she'll eat and encourage her to try something of ours. She only likes butter in sandwiches, won't eat any kind of pasta sauce, potatoes, pizza, baked beans, unprocessed meat urgh I could go on! Embarrassing at friends' houses (does she like meatballs? Uh can she have toast?!)

She eats lunch and tea at nursery and the staff tell me she will eat the pasta/Cous Cous and rice without sauce, always eats fruit and yoghurt for pudding and tea is usually something with bread or toast, I think shes more likely to try things there too. I'm loathe to make her a packed lunch when she starts reception in September as school meals are now free in Southwark! We'll see...

Great to hear from parents of other fussy ones, so easy to feel like a failure! Like you an I love all food, very little I don't like.

[Fuschia]

Jacks, my oldest is 10 and this weekend was the first time I could pick a couple of (newish) things to cook without fearing he would throw a wobbly.

Things that gradually tempted him

Younger siblings trying stuff

Having a friend round for tea

Just 1 or 2 'different meals' Pw, starkly at the weekend when we all sit down

After school/tired days food is predictable

Letting him exercise his slight OCD re things not touching each other, other children not touching his food, washing his plate himself (gosh he does sound fussy!)

All children to help cook, lay table, clear up after

Ensuring they appreciate the effort involved in cooking for them

Several dishes /meze style so no individual item requires a stand off

Small portions

Make sure new food is tasty (slightly sweetened got them all into squash and parsnips)

Eating out

Takeaways

Less stress if you haven't slaved over it yourself

Odd things like spicy tofu from the Chinese went down well, bizarrely

Talking about new things, generally

Discussing healthy eating, moderation, variety

Patience

Patience

Patience

[Fuschia]

Usually, not starkly !

[Fuschia]

He probably still is about 7/10 on the fussy scale, if 10 is maximum. But it's a big improvement