ARGHHHH

[susyp]

ok, so we just had a playdate with a friend's child. when friend came to pick up said child - she came in for a cuppa while the girls played upstairs. at one point my daughter came and got me and showed me a little drawing her friend had done on the walL - WHOLE HOUSE IS FRESHLY DECORATED ! I let that go. Then when they went i shut the door and turned around and realised the entire hallway had been drawn on. I called my friend back. My daughter said none of it had been her. Went round entire house and every room except the one us adults had been in had scribbles on the wall. Obviously I was pretty shocked, and mad. Other child said they both did it, my daughter said she didn;t do any of it - other child called her a liar.

Anyway, i texted my friend in the end to say was pretty sure my daughter hadnt done it - she replied saying i was right - she had got the truth out of her daughter (well she did say my daughter did the little drawing but it;s not her style so pretty convinced wasn;t her- but at least most of the truth was told!).

not posting for any reason except to say AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. its so annoying. I know kids do this. but i am so mad and i need to let it out before the school run tomorrow so it's gone! Most annoyed about her calling my daughter a liar.

time for a glass of wine me thinks.

susypx

[Helen GV]

Poor you, think i would have downed the bottle, never mind the glass!!

[midivydale]

Aw susyP, wish i could have one with you! Big hug! X

[keane]

This exact thing happened to me couple of years ago! My middle son now 5 but 2 or 3 at the time had a friend over and friends mum & me were actually commenting on how well they had played etc etc while we had been bla ba chat chat in the kitchen, then they left & I discovered most of the walls upstairs, hall, bedrooms had been drawn on in blue biro - tried baby wipes etc to get it off - didn't work and I ended up having to just paint over the patches two or 3 times before they disappeared. Both of them blamed the other one! Then another time a different child came round and he and my son 'posted' all my magazines Into the fish tank which killed one fish and took HOURS to clean up - so I feel for you!

[susyp]

we have now taken the decision not to buy any new furniture for a few years - our sofas are in a terrible state but i hadn't quite clocked that it wasn't just your own child that could ruin your stuff - but their friends!

yes keane indeed it is blue biro so thanks for warning it will take a few coats!

we ended up having not only beer but also a curry last night to drown our sorrows so all in all a bit of an expensive disaster (yummy though!)

susypx

[Saffron]

Before you repaint, try a stain remover for ink? Dr Beckmann's Stain Devils makes one for biro for fabric, but you could try it on the walls: http://www.dr-beckmann.co.uk/how-to-remove-stains/ . Even if it doesn't totally remove the stain, it might lighten it enough that you only need one recoat of paint. Don't use anything that isn't specifically for ink, otherwise you could set the stains instead of lightening them! xx

[WorkingMummy]

IMO, the other mother should offer to help fix this.

I do not say this because she "deserves" to pay or it's her "fault". These things happen. But how else to teach her child, this is not what we do, than by saying WE (not Susyp or Mr Susyp or little Susyp) have to put this right.

If my child did this, I'd tell her she had to say sorry to you. I'd hold her hand and support her as she did it, but she would have to do it. Then with my daughter there I'd say, "Obviously, let me know what the repairs cost you. How else can we help?"

[WorkingMummy]

PS: you've had a bad run of luck with playdates, Susyp, what with the other episode with the keener than you were other mum. Not the same people?

[Saffron]

Yes, totally agree with WorkingMummy- other family should offer to make it right, in whatever way seems appropriate. But, erm, how does one handle these things if they don't?!

[WorkingMummy]

Pass! Very difficult. One reason I would make the offer in the other mother's shoes would be to save Susyp the awkwardness of that horrible equation.

Actually, thinking about it like that, f it, I'd say something. "I wondered if you might contribute to the cost re-painting?"

[Chillaxed]

Or post about it on here if she's local.

[keane]

I think it would be mean to post about them on here - I totally agree the child should say sorry as that's the only way to learn, but I don't think there will be a big cost of redecorating - when the same thing happened to us I just touched up the paint with the same colour and it was fine. It's always hard to get to exactly the bottom of which child did which bit when they are together. I now go rushing upstairs on play dates if the 'silence' goes on too long as that's when they could be up to something! In our case my child got a telling off and had to help me clean up and from what I remember lost cbeebies for a while and the other child was made to say sorry by his mum - that was enough as far as I was concerned..

[Saffron]

People being mean on the Forum - gasp! ;-)

[Saffron]

Maybe one way to deal with it is to make light of it. Laughter soothes many things, and in years to come it's probably going to be a hilarious story. You could always invite your friends over for a (re)painting party and dinner?

[susyp]

the other parents have offered to pay for a decorator, but we've already done one coat and i think it will be ok in the main. and the little angel apparently missed out on a playdate today as punishment. And we got a sorry for painting on your walls card from the child as well this morning - now THAT will be coming out in a few years time !!

susypx

and yes working mummy that's what's so annoying about it - my daughter was so excited as we have been a bit crap on the playdate front - and it all just went wrong! she is at one today which is a return one from last week (which went very well) so really crossing my fingers and hoping all will be ok when i go and pick her up in a minute!!

[Curmudgeon]

You can get magic foam erasers that take drawings off paint by removing a thin layer of paint

[Chillaxed]

Well yes, kinda my point.

keane Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I think it would be mean to post about them on

> here - I totally agree the child should say sorry

> as that's the only way to learn, but I don't think

> there will be a big cost of redecorating - when

> the same thing happened to us I just touched up

> the paint with the same colour and it was fine.

> It's always hard to get to exactly the bottom of

> which child did which bit when they are together.

> I now go rushing upstairs on play dates if the

> 'silence' goes on too long as that's when they

> could be up to something! In our case my child got

> a telling off and had to help me clean up and from

> what I remember lost cbeebies for a while and the

> other child was made to say sorry by his mum -

> that was enough as far as I was concerned..

[Mrs TP]

Stress city when it happens. I caught my youngest and her friend (both approaching 4) with baby wipes one day and I asked 'what are you doing?'. At first they insisted on 'nothing, nothing' but then coughed up they were going to clean the wall. I followed them to a stretch of the hallway covered in scribbles. We are certainly not newly decorated but it was a mess all the same. Fortunately, washable walls and all 3 of us scrubbed it off. Mine was as guilty as her friend and they have joint form having previously 'spilt' nail varnish over carpet at the friend's house (nicked from an older sister and on the older sister's new bedroom carpet), which needed more Vanish and elbow grease than our walls.

I was cross at the time, scolding my child whilst trying not to freak her friend out who was fully aware of the enormity of the situation and who had doubly dropped herself in it by managing to write her name - mine was not that advanced but still distinctive scribbles in her style.

My older 2 would never have dreamed of doing anything like this but no 3 is a different entity altogether.

Diff situation to yours but I was truly gobsmacked at the time. Funny now to recall it :)

[WorkingMummy]

susyp Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> the other parents have offered to pay for a

> decorator, but we've already done one coat and i

> think it will be ok in the main. and the little

> angel apparently missed out on a playdate today as

> punishment. And we got a sorry for painting on

> your walls card from the child as well this

> morning - now THAT will be coming out in a few

> years time !!

> susypx

> and yes working mummy that's what's so annoying

> about it - my daughter was so excited as we have

> been a bit crap on the playdate front - and it all

> just went wrong! she is at one today which is a

> return one from last week (which went very well)

> so really crossing my fingers and hoping all will

> be ok when i go and pick her up in a minute!!

Perfecto!!! So pleased the other family were brilliant about it - can't ask for more than that. And hope little SP enjoyed today.

[RobMiller]

keane Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I now go rushing upstairs on play dates if the

> 'silence' goes on too long as that's when they

> could be up to something!

Indeed! This was our bedroom after our boys and their friends were quiet too long... (a similar effect in two other rooms too). Took hours to sort - how we laughed...!

[keane]

Blimey - looks like after being ransacked by burglars! Poor u!

[Pugwash]

feel for you - many years ago I looked after a couple of sisters during school hols who were in the same brownie pack as youngest daughter. Had a girlfiend round one day and we both happened to hear water flowing when she was going, Traced it to my daughter's bedroom downstairs - water streaming through the ceiling and ligts. Found bathroom sink over flowing upstairs with plug in, little darlings had washed their hands under running water, put in the plug and not turned off tap. rang their mother up at work and demanded that she collected her offspring early as I had a major job of having to clear out the whole room and find somewhere for daughter to sleep. Mum refused and came her usual time to collect. Showed her the damage and stated that i would be billing her for some of the costs - refused to consider it and said it was my fault having plugs in the sink as everyone knew that kids left taps running.!!. Damage cost around ?300 to repair as electrician had to be called, carpets and mattress replaced. I wrote the insurance company and giave them the mother's details for them to reclaim the cost from her. Telling the story much later on to another Brownie parent who informed me that all the local childminders had refused to have these girls due their destructive behaviour, and all other parents in the Brownies had been asked to take the girls for a few days. Unfortunately nobody had informed me of this fact as they assumed that I had heard of their reputation.