Mum of boys - what's it like?

[reren]

Just found out that am expecting another boy and trying to get my head round it - wanting to hear all the great things about being a mum of 2 (or more) boys! I have a brother - and more than I realized I think I expected to have a girl and am slightly mourning all the books I won't be able to pass on (or are there boys who would love Rebecca at 12 as much as I did??), the relationship I would have with a daughter etc - so silly I know because all that should count is having a healthy baby and I should be counting my blessings (and i feel really guilty about the little chap inside who i should just be excited about) but I don't think a third is an option for me - so bit worried about being the odd one out in endless football conversations etc - tell me it is all ok and there are lots of great thing sa out being a mum in a family full of testosterone!

[bluesuperted]

I can't give personal experience on this as have one of each so far but do know lots of very happy mums of 2 boys - very good playmates in all the cases I can think of. But why I'm writing is because about a year ago, in Nunhead cemetery, I met an older lady who made a big impression with her love of boys/sons. Basically she saw us playing with our very energetic toddler who was running around being very boyish indeed that day. She came over and started chatting, saying she had three grown up sons and I think three grandsons already. She was passionate about how wonderful it was bringing up boys and how much she had loved it, she said the best thing was being surrounded by grown up men who looked out for her, were great company and took care of her really well now. It was lovely to hear, as I thought we'd probably have more boys and it was nice to hear this positivity towards them. She even said that her daughter in law was expecting again and didn't know the sex and the Grannie was panicking as she was desperate for another boy!

I don't know if it helps or not but I think it comes down to being positive and throwing yourself into the family you have - which I'm sure everyone does - and a bit like the mixed sibling thread, there are no guarantees with any of it; my daughter may be a tomboy, may hate the books I loved growing up and equally my son may not enjoy playing football like his dad does and may want to watch rom-coms with me!! It's all such a lottery of genes and dynamics... I'm slightly rambling but I wanted to tell you about the lady I met and hopefully help you get more excited about life with two boys. Sure some experiences two-boy mums will be along soon!

[Polly D]

Hi reren

Congrats! I think the way you're feeling is very normal. You had an expectation of sorts that you'd have one of each, for the reasons you wrote, and possibly more.

I have two boys: one is 4, the other 7 months. I admit I thought a girl would be nice, for similar reasons to yours I think. But honestly, honestly, what becomes important is that your baby is your baby, your child, you've seen him on screen and hopefully have a little pic of him. He's yours. I look at my sweet baby (can I say that?) and from day one I thought I wouldn't change a thing about him, if he was a girl, he wouldn't be him, if this gushing all makes sense.

Then in terms of practicalities you have all the clothes and gear already, they might be great mates, they might not be, just as mixed gender siblings might or might not be.

Sometimes the 3 boys in my life have 'boys club', which is basically them doing something without me and we all love it. And as they get older I'm looking forward to boys club for real when maybe they'll go off and watch/play rugby and I can bow out. Just as BST said, no guarantees about any of it. For now the testosterone thing isn't apparent but sure there'll be days when I wistfully think of a girl and then I'll remember what I was like as a teenager and perhaps be glad that I have boys to deal with, who knows.

Just prepare yourself for other people's 'sad' faces, asking you "didn't you want a daughter?", or "the scan might be wrong?!" or "oh well, you can always have another one" etc etc. I can't believe how many people said this to me. And that "oh two boys!!!" exclaim.

[Belle]

...everything the others have said, and this: my older son is v boyish but also asked for (and got) a baby annabell for his 4th birthday, picked out nail varnish for my birthday (and got to try it at his request) and LOVES to help me pick my clothes out. I'm very lucky to have some lovely little girls in my life through friends & family but am also realising that it's not so much boys and girls, it's a huge wide amazing spectrum of children.

For my part, I felt like you post scan and was glad I'd found out as I had a chance to get my head around it, and then like PollyD above was just so happy when he was born because he was him.

[katgod]

I get a lot more cuddles and conversation from my son than either of my daughters.

[j-mo]

Hi rerun

I felt exactly the same. I just assumed that I would have one of each. My second boy has just arrived and from the moment he arrived I was totally in love. Much more than baby 1 (who of course I love to bits now - it just wasn't instant like it has been with number 2). I am still mourning the little girl I'll probably never have but I honestly feel so lucky to have two healthy little boys. Two of my best buddies have 2 boys too, a little older than mine, and it all seems to go very well. I think we have two options, either embrace the activities that our boys will enjoy, or enjoy the time off that it gives us :)

Good luck

X

[lillyanginger]

Hi reren,

your text brings back many of the concerns I had when we were expecting our second child...another boy.

I have been a mum of 2 boys now for 11 years - and honestly, I could not be happier. Boys are utterly delightful:) (most of the time, obv not all the time!) Our two are very different, one is into sports in a big way, the other one hates sports and loves reading. Boys seem to be more physical but are very loving and cuddly and (still) hug a fair bit. More than most of my friends daughters from what I see.

There is little pink in our house, nobody ever answers honestly when I ask 'this top or this top' because they really don't care or see the point. But they are good fun to be around and I am definitely learning lots of new things with them, stuff I never knew while growing up with a sister.

Enjoy xx

[Goodliz]

I've got two boys and I love it. They are great fun as as others have said - you have everything already and know what to expect.

They get along well but also do have their many moments of fighting and bickering. I imagine that happens with all siblings though.

They are VERY loud most of the time and also full of energy. Someone said that having boys is like having dogs as you have to feed and exercise them regularly throughout the day.

They are 2.5 years apart - now 8 and 6 so doing lots of sporty things together like tennis and athletics. Neither is into football or rugby for some reason. As they are getting older I am noticing they spend more time reading than they ever used to.

If I was to have a happy accident and get pregnant again I would hope it was another boy (perhaps that is because I am one of 5 girls!).

To be honest though I think we would all be happy with whatever gender we get as kids male or female are such a blessing.

Don't worry reren it will be fine :-)

[Chocky]

I have twin boys, approaching 4. They exhaust and delight me in equal measure. True they are noisy, they bang, they wrestle, they have a stick and stone obsession. But they are loving and caring, look out for younger children in the playground and have a wonderful sensitive side. One loves to dress up in mummy's shoes and scarves and even advises mummy on what to wear. The other loves to play with my jewellery. Both were beside themselves when my sister brought out her 1970s Fisher Price Dolls House!

I was brought up in a predominantly female household and was delighted to find out that I was expecting boys, so my experience and expectations are quite different, but I agree with earlier posts that there's no need to worry.

Many of my male friends have brothers and no sisters, they have enviously close relationships and they dote on their mothers, so you have lots to look forward to!