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Night time no nappy


susyp

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My daughter is 5 and I have just persuaded her to forgo nappies at night. She was never dry but definitely at times choosing to wee in the nappy and also has urine infection every few months which are hard ti shake and I think down to her very wet nappies at night


She was very proud as first few nights were dry- I lifted her at 10pm . However one night she refused to go to the toilet and had 2 accidents. Another night she wouldn't wee and had an accident. We had a talk and I woke her up fully then and that might was dry after a successful lifting. However tonight I went in at usual time and she was already soaked. I try and feed her by 5 but last few nights she has eaten very slowly and so finished about 530 hen had her drink after meal and is in bed by 7. I am guessing I need to bring her meal time maybe half a hour earlier , but I am getting disheartened. I just suggested a nappy but she said no and I think it is good she has mentally dropped nappies, but I see months and

Months of washing ahead? Any advice now I am here?

Thanks!!

Susypx

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I feel for you, it can be so disheartening. My son is 3.5 years and only just out of daytime nappies. I was panicking as we had tried several times in the past year and it had always become a big ordeal despite me doing my best to keep it low key and unpressured. A couple of months ago he just got interested in the toilet by himself so we seized the moment and he pretty much just trained himself. We did all the positive reward stuff (stickers and books or toy trains as a reward worked a treat) and lots of reminders ("do you need to go?" every few minutes it seemed) but it worked and I was so proud. Then, when we had all decided he was fully potty trained and stopped giving him stickers or reminders, an accident, then another one, and another one... It coincided with a change of class at his nursery and his grandma going away and in retrospect we should've just kept on with the stickers etc. I've since found out that it is really common to have a relapse as the child stops thinking about it all the time and just forgets. So we've gone back to rewards and reminders and he's getting better again.

I can't offer much practical advice I'm afraid, but do want to say hang in there. Things can change quickly and when the kids are ready they seem to get the hang of it overnight. I agree that now she is out of nappies try not to go back into them so she doesn't get disheartened herself. My parenting maxim is 'this too will pass', but I'm better at remembering it after the fact than when I'm in the middle of it!

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thanks for both your messages! very encouraging. She thinks she has "got the hang of it" so i can't really put her back into nappies now. So will just crack on. She definitely doesn't wake up to wee so the key seems to be getting her bladder emptied at the right times. Just was finding it awkward as she is very competitive with our neighbours daughter and sometimes she has come running out the front to see her when still in her nappy - under her pjs but I would hate the other little girl to notice!! And her bottom looks better already - its had septic spots for about 2 months now with on and off antibiotics whenever she feels ill - they've all gone now so i think this is the right way to go.

WIll look at those protectors - we've been using the pampers mats which are very good at soaking up but it has still spread up to her toys on a couple of occasions - teddy can go in the wash but we also have one of those build a bear ones with a sound in so that can't !.

susypx

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My view would be to leave her in a pull-up for night at the moment. If you are relying on waking her at the right times to take her to the toilet, to me it sounds like she is not ready.


My son was 2.5 when he daytime trained, but 6 when he stopped needing nighttime pull-ups, in stark contrast to my 2nd child who was dry day and night at 2. Don't worry about what other kids are doing, it's not until a hormonal change takes place that they will be dry at night.


With our son, we had him in pants while he had his story etc, then into a pull-up right before bed. He was encouraged to go to the toilet right before bed, and knew that as soon as he woke in the morning he should change back into pants. He was old enough to know that if he was awake and needed a wee he was to go to the toilet (which he did). Just after his 6th birthday he said he wanted to wear pants to bed, and we haven't looked back, no accidents, no need to lift him.


Good luck x

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Hi, I think there are some pants which are specially made for nighttime training. They look and feel like ordinary pants but maybe have some element of waterproofing and some optional padding. If you google night time training pants,you might find something which will help ease all your washing?

I made some for my 5 yr old in the end, just cos he needs 100% cotton.

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John Lewis does good mattress protectors as well: http://www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-waterproof-towelling-mattress-protectors/p120118 .


Whichever waterproof padding you use, don't forget that you can make the bed up in multiple layers, alternating regular sheets + waterproofs. When one later gets soaked, just strip it all off and you still have the clean layers underneath w/o having to make the bed in the middle of the night.


Anything that can't go in the wash can be rubbed down with a bit of diluted Ecover maybe?


My little girl is 3yrs 8mo, and we only gave up daytime nappies in June. We're currently working on the night time nappies. I think it's normal for children to progress at very different paces with toilet training, so long as you're happy that you're making progress overall. Adjusting meal times might or might not help. We've cut down on evening milk with some mixed success. Sometimes she drinks loads and is still dry, and other times I think she didn't have much but has an accident anyway. I guess it's all a learning curve for us as much as them, right?! xx

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So happy to find this thread - sorry Susyp, I don't mean that how it sounds! My DS is 4 and still in night-time pullups which are usually utterly sodden in the morning, so it's reassuring to hear the different noises about how normal it is, as his cousin was dry at night within a couple of weeks of being dry in the day. I've tried the limiting drinks thing but whenever I do, DS seems to be desperately thirsty and needs to drink a gallon of water or two VERY URGENTLY before bed. We've had the occasional success, but I'm not sure whether that was accident or design. Saffron - that's a BRILLIANT tip about layering the bed! THANK YOU!!! It has made the idea of trying again more bearable. Of course!! I have said if DS has three dry pullups in a row, we'll try without for a night. But I'm hovering about whether introducing stickers is a good idea because I don't know if it's a readiness thing, and if he's wetting himself while asleep he really can't help it, sticker or no, no?
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We are here too, ds is 3.5 and sodden pull ups every night bar the occassional dry one, so I think we are nearly there but not yet...I also don't like the idea of lifting as it really freaks him out, does anyone use a washable pull up or are we all spending money on disposables? Both of mine were in washable nappies so I'd like to continue but not found any really (and didn't expect this to go on for so long!)
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she did ask for a nappy tonight but only as she said it felt weird not wearing one - she says she doesn't need it - but i know the minute i put it on her she'll be weeing til kingdom come. i auspect we will carry on with this until she gets her first chronic cough of the winter (ie next week) and then back to nappies as i definitely won't be waking her then.

susypx

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My daughter has also been dry for what seems like ages during the day but no sign of it working at night! She is in pull ups at night but my plan is to put her in pants when we're all ready for the night time push, my made up theory is that she can feel the pants, and that's what she feels during the day which is what helps her remember to go to the toilet... Not sure if it'll help but we'll try! I was also planning on going to buy some 'special' night time only pants with her, which mean she'll maybe not want to wee in them and will try harder to wake to wee?! Who knows!
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I read in this forum once, and I thought it was good advice, that pull ups can send the wrong message to kids because they are like pants but it is OK to wee on, yet we are trying to encourage them to not wee in their pants so using pull ups can send conflicting messages and confuse children and prolong the process even if the child is ready to be toilet trained. When I read the post I thought it made a lot of sense. I can't remember who wrote it though and it was a at least 18 months ago.
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I think it is irrelevant whether it's a nappy or a pull up at night time - generally people use pull ups at bedtime for older children as they come in bigger sizes branded as pyjama pants.


I have also decided it's not something they are really able to conciously control (beyond doing their first morning wee in a nappy, which is infuriating!) - my 4.5 yr old has sopping wet pull ups in the morning, yet he day time toilet trained 2 years ago. The 2.5 yr old is newly out of nappies and he is completely dry in the mornings and he asks to take his nappy off for a wee. No lifting, no making him do a wee before bed.


Am thinking having a little brother who doesn't wear nappies at night might at least make my oldest think about it though!!

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Well last night I successfully lifted her, only to find her completely sodden at 430am. We are back in nappies and she is getting a new DVD as a reward for trying. But going to put nappy on after stories as suggested and make her do wee first as she always wees in it at story time. But I am satisfied she can't wake herself to wee. Will try again next summer! She ll be 6 then which seems a key age from some of the advice here.

Susypx

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We've had problems lifting our son as well as he's too fast a sleep to wee. Best success so far is limiting drinks before bed. Make sure he drink lots during the day, especially in this weather, then last drink two hours before bed. Wee before going to sleep. If he insists on drinking before bed, I don't deny him, I let him half a small cup, but if he wants more, he has to wear 'special nighttime pants' ie pull-ups. We decided to use this terminology so he wouldn't try to wee in them. But if he has more than half a cup, he does generally do a wee in the pull up. We try to take it off first thing in the morning too and get him to do a wee in the toilet. It's real trial and error but keeping track of your child's drinks and then thinking about how long before they need a wee is a good idea.
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My child was never dry at night, he is three , one day I forgot to put his pull ups on and to my surprise he was dry !

And he is always dry at night ( bar two times when he didn't wee before going to bed ).

I would have thought he was never ready judging by the night nappies always being full but I now know with my son he was just being lazy because he could .

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Rather than making her meal earlier I personally woukd make bed time a little later.


Our daughter is 4 and is only now getting used to using the potty (it's remembering to tell us she needs it which is the issue) oddly the nights don't seem to be a problem. I feel your pain though, it's a friggin nightmare!


I'm just dreading my girl having accidents and getting teased at school which starts next week. SHE'S TOO LITTLE, LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE!

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We potty-trained our two children in the same way at the same age(about two and a half). The first (a boy) just simply stopped weeing in the night with no prompting from us about two weeks after being trained, and this was with a glass of warm milk at bedtime. The second continues to soak her nappy every night a year on from the start of training, and doesn't have a drink at bedtime


I reckon it must just depend on the child, like a physiological development thing...

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  • 2 weeks later...

right, firstly arggghhhh.


we went back to night time nappies 2 weeks ago. And now, it hurts when she wees again - so another infection! arggg. I have put white vinegar in her bath - told her to try and not wee in her nappy and to use the toilet of course - the nappies are only there to catch accidents. She just came down straight after i put her to bed to say that it hurt as she had weed n her nappy.


Now i know you aren't meant to make a drama out of night time wetting but i know she was awake and she still weed in her nappy. It's so bloody annoying. Her nappies have been sodden the past 2 weeks - so obviously she wakes up and does a wee. It's driving me demeted that she won't even try.


so now because her foo foo was hurting we have taken off her nappy - put back down the waterproof sheet and bed mats and back to no nappy as i really think it is giving her infections.


I can't work out what is worse - getting up twice in the night to change sodden sheets or going to the doctor every fortnight to get antibiotics. And they often don't believe me as she has no temperature but i can tell by her saying it hurts and she becomes really really grumpy and has tummy ache too.


is there a chance that she could learn to be dry at night if we stick at it?? She doesn't wake up to wee - but i know she wakes up in the night a couple of times and rearrangs her toys as i shared a room wth her on holiday! So i've told her to get up and wee then but she';s so bloody stubborn about going to the toilet anyway she just won't. Even in the day she waits until she is absolutely bursting to go before she goes.


feeling very wound up about this - needed to vent! I did get a little cross with her now but maybe it will make her realise she does actually need to try and do this. I never tell her off for wetting the bed when it happens - but to wee in her nappy 2 secs after i have left was really really annoying.


susypx


just to add - would there be any point at all in doing a half way house - ie no nappy for the first half the night (when i presume most wees happen) so that she has to go to the toilet just before going to sleep , and then i can lift her at 10pm - to wee - so she gets used to that - and then stick a nappy on. Presumably that would mean that the nappy might not get so wet that it gives her infections? She's been coming downstairs in her nappy in the mornings whereas really i should insist that she takes it off first thing and gets in the bath - she's being really difficult and shouty at the moment so sometimes I just can't take the fight first thing, but i think she needs to start realising a nappy is only for accidents - it's not a toilet!

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Is the bathroom far from her bedroom? Maybe she's all cosy and a little scared to get up and go? Have you tried putting a potty in her bedroom (maybe on one of your waterproof sheets just in case it gets knocked...) and offering her a chocolate button for each wee she does in it ( take what she says as truth- ooooh 10 weeks well done, have 10 buttons... Even if it looks like a dribble!) keep sane and drink wine.
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yes we did try the potty the time before last and she never used it, but you never know. Good idea about how many wees and just believing her. On holiday I did say to her that if she had a dry nappy she could have a chocolate bar before breakfast which she was quite excited about , but never managed it.

She has seriously had about 7 doses of antibiotics in the lsat year.

I'm putitng away the bubble bath too - obviously that could be a cause of the infections too

susypx

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