Stay or go?

[simonethebeaver]

Do we stay here or go elsewhere where we'd have more cash and house but longer commute and not our lovely local friends?

Deleted rest as it sounded like a massive stealth boast.

Subject has been done to death on here I know. Feel free to ignore.

[snowboarder]

We've gone. Not too far away, commute actually similar as have a fast train into london bridge. Much more house and space. We are in a small village with a tiny school - my eldest son has just started in reception in a class (year) of 12....amazing! But I still miss ED....the parks/shops/atmosphere/people...

Sorry - not overly helpful! I do love the space and we're slowly getting used to it. And we're only a 40 min drive so come back quite regularly to meet up with friends.

[etta166]

I wouldn't sacrifice my 20 min cycle commute to the city for anything. I can see my children for a significant amount of time morning and night every day even when doing a full day of work in the office. I'm not convinced that a bigger house and more space would outweigh the lack of family time.

I'm also pretty sure that once my children are senior school age, living in a city with public transport and things to do will be a huge positive compared to the small town that I grew up in.

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

Ditto what Etta says .

[EDZ]

You can get a cheaper and bigger houses by going not very far. West Norwood, West Dulwich and Syndenham would be top of my list. ED is lovely but the houses are small and expensive.

[simonethebeaver]

Sydenham not that cheap any more! Hillyfields very reasonable though.

Basically we've worked out we could be more or less mortgage free outside London, given this ridiculous bubble we're in right now. And have more space. That's the dilemma.

[womanofdulwich]

There reaches a point when some people can't take it anymore-if you don't have a family I would try and stay somewhere close to where you want to live for a week or two and see how the commuting gets to you.

Seriously consider if you want to run a fleet of cars / taxi service if you have children/ teenagers.

[ClareC]

We left 18mths ago, haven't regretted it at all. Commute only 10 mins longer despite being 70 miles out! Contrary to popular belief we have great restaurants, pubs, food etc too. Kids are in a fantastic nursery which is half the price.... No brainer IMO.

Think it all depends on where you place your values/ priorities.

The kids love the freedom and open space they now have and have made lovely friends who they will end up going to school with up to at least senior school. There are a few ex ED'ers in these parts funnily enough!

[simonethebeaver]

Outside London doesn't have to equal countryside/suburbs! We're thinking Oxford.

If we move and our outgoings can shrink, only one of us would commute. The other (me!) could give up the job I hate and do something else. But obviously there's no denying the commute isn't much fun, and family life can suffer. (Three kids to consider.)

[ClareC]

If your careful where you go the commute can be good....

I used to walk to the station, board a packed train and stand like a sardine, and then the same on the tube. Door to door was 1 hour. I now have a 35 min train journey on a clean air conditioned train where I always get a seat. I get to read books/ listen to music/ read the metro etc which are all things I could never do before. The worst part of the journey is the couple of stops on the tube but I often avoid that and walk. Door to door is now 1hour 10.

I only do it 3 days but it is a pleasant journey which could not be said for my previous pre move commute.

[Earl Aelfheah]

ClareC - Where is it you have moved to?

[bornagain]

How much is your commuting costs? Isn't the cost of rail fare prohibitive?

[srisky]

I'm following with interest, as a move (to goodness knows where) is likely within the next couple of years. The smaller mortgage for large® house in the 'burbs would hopefully more than offset the travel fare. Not to mention how much I could save on slice of cake ;)

[Otta]

Think a big part of it is whether you are from London origionally, and whether you have extended family here.

Both my wife and I were born and brought up in ED / Forest Hill, and as such, I feel a sense of roots in the area (we live in Sydenham which I love, but we rent). Next year we are hoping to get a finger nail grip on the bottom rung of the property ladder, and common sense is telling us to move away and get something decent for our limited budget. I can handle leaving, I've left before. BUT, my parents (ED) and my wife's dad (Sydenham) are close by and see a lot of our daughters. I love that they have this relationship (having only ever known one of my grandparents, who lived in Devon so I saw her once a year), not to mention the free childcare two days a week! I also get free transport in London because I've got crap eyes, and that would make a huge difference if I moved outside of zone 6 and lost that.

I just wish I'd been sensible as a younger guy, but I basically pissed all my wages up the wall throughout my twenties. House prices in London are nothing short of crazy.

[HannahSE23]

Don't do it. I know two couples who made the move (Kent and Suffolk) and both were back within two years with kids back in the same primary school they left! High cost of travel, having to drive everywhere all the time, not particularly like-minded people/lack of diversity, missing friends and general boredom outweighed the larger house and cheaper mortgage. Plus they were confused when it came to holidays, preferring city breaks to country breaks as they needed a fix of something different from the slow pace of their lives. Luckily the rented, so came back to their old homes. Some other friends broke free and moved to Devon, but find it's packed in the summer and empty in the winter. They sold their London home and are desperate to move back but have priced themselves out of London completely now (so don't sell your place until you're absolutely sure). Maybe when you've retired Oxford living might be nice, but can you imagine spending the next 40 or so years pootling about in a small town?

[gwod]

Oxford is fab to live in but house prices are not much different to E Dulwich in any of the nice areaa... and commute is HORRIFYING...that's why we moved here!

[Mellors]

We considered this long and hard. We both grew up on farms in the countryside, and were terminally bored, so we were keen to stay and let the kids enjoy all the benefits of living in London, but ran out of space in ED when baby 3 came along.

We thought about somewhere closeish to London (Essex, Kent) , but the commute + still high house prices anywhere nice + cost of travel + seeing less of the children didn't add up for us.

We moved to Sydenham two years ago - still cycle to work, kids in same school, all ED facilies (but better travel). Twice the square footage for the same money. No brainer. I think its gone up a bit since then (we bought derelict and did up, but there are still a lot of close areas offering much, much better VFM then ED).

[Otta]

Yep, Sydenham prices are climbing pretty fast, so you got in at a good time. But ED is in another league. Much as I love ED, I will never understand why anyone would pay the prices to live there that they are currently paying, it's mental!

[Belle]

I really like the look of Sydenham and would like that to be our next move when we outgrow current place in ED. Crossing fingers we won't be priced out, but it's a long way down the road for us anyway.

We've been over it and over it - and have plumped on staying for reasons others have outlined here. It depends what's important to you really - I love being able to jump in a cab home after a night out and that the logistics aren't too complicated. I like that I'm handy to get to for friends/family wherever they live - London is always accessible. And that I can walk to Barrys at 9.30pm if I've forgotten something for my son's packed lunch the next day! I like that on a short walk from my son's school to my younger son's childminder I can bump into and chat to three or four friends on the way. I absolutely love this area - not just ED, which I agree isn't the be all and end all by any means - but the wider surrounds too. The parks are amazing. So many good, free things to do. We are so lucky.

But like I say, it's what's important to YOU - I can completely see the attraction of a fab big house and garden and I do on occasion feel v envious of those. I think in the end you go with your gut - you can read all the arguments both ways but you'll probably have a gut instinct one way or the other.

Edited to add: I think the only way we'd move to e.g. Oxford/Cambridge/Brighton/Bristol type places (taking your point that outside London doesn't have to = countryside) would be if we moved jobs - and in those circumstances I could totally imagine doing it. But no to the commute, for us.

[Otta]

You get nights out!?!?!?

[StraferJack]

With cabs otta, with cabs

;-)

[Belle]

I realised as I wrote this it might be a bit misleading... but definitely in the last year the night out rate has gone up, yes! It had a lot to do with going back to work...

I'm a scaredy cat and have never done nightbuses even when skint, so cabs it is (just that they are legal ones now as opposed to the really dodgy ones I used to take in my youth, shudder to think about it now).

As you were.

[StraferJack]

Not knocking you at all belle, just mildly nostalgic

[Belle]

That's fair enough ;)

I grew up in a small, rural Scottish town and on more than one occasion was stranded in the neighbouring town having missed all bus/cab options. Once I had to cadge a lift home from a police car. That's not something I'd try in London...

[Ann]

I was lucky to have bought in this area 20 years ago and haven't faced the cost of living issues current families do.

However the accessibility we have here is great, like many of you I didn't grow up in London.

For teenagers London's amazing!