What are the chances of reinstating a toddler nap!?

[jennyh]

Hi all

Please help! My daughter is 32 months and for the past few months she hasn't napped at home in the day. She naps at nursery 3 days a week (mon-weds) but then nothing for the rest of the week. At first it worked well because it meant she would go to bed easily at 7pm when previously napping meant being up and difficult until 9pm ish. The issue is that every day she tells me how tired she is, she says she wants a nap, she practically falls asleep all through the morning. However no matter what I do I cannot encourage her to nap and its worrying me that it's no good for her.

Sometimes she will sleep around 10-11 hours at night with a few wakings, other nights she wakes quite a lot and so may only get 9 hours or so which is just not enough across the 24 hours. Sometimes mealtime are hard as she is exhausted, similarly behaviour and tantrums get unbearable by about 3pm. Similarly trying to take her to do any sort of activity after 3pm is impossible as her temperament is so changeable and everything becomes very laboured!

Has anyone had any luck reinstating a nap after so long not having one?? I've tried suggesting 'quiet time' and not enforcing darkness end, tried letting her chill on the sofa in front of tv, tried pushchair naps, tried before and after lunch, books, sleeping on a mat on the floor (as per nursery), going in the car. She just fights the urge to drop off or relax, she could be dead on her feet but would still rouse a little energy to act up and refuse to calm.

I guess I just feel we are caught between the pros and cons or napping/not napping and it doesn't feel natural for her to not sleep as she is often red eyed, rubs her eyes etc and goes on and on about how tired she is!

Not sure what I'm looking for...hand holding???? I have a baby due at Christmas and have gone through the entire pregnancy without her having a nap and can't say I relish the prospect of a newborn and a toddler who is still styling like this. She's a lovely little girl but my word does she test my patience!! Especially when she taunts me by saying she would like to sleep!!! :-)

Apologies for typos... On iPhone!

Thanks!

[EmilyPie]

We have to do stealth naps. A trip in the buggy or car to the 'shops', generally with some kind of snack to concentrate on so he doesn't get distracted too much by big lorries, buses, dogs etc. He'll drop off about 2/3 of the time which is enough to stave off the really bad behaviour most of the time. Buggy is better with a baby as you'll otherwise have the prob of trying to get a baby & sleeping toddler in from the car. Good luck!

[etta166]

Have you tried having a nap together? Might work if she knows that she won't be missing out on anything as you'll be asleep too.

[canela]

I used to put toddler (and then afterwards toddler plus baby) in the car and drive to a quiet spot - usually somewhere we could visit afterwards, like the car park in Dulwich Park or something. 2 sleeping children. i either took along a thermos and a magazine or else had a nap myself. joy.

[jennyh]

Thanks everyone. Have tried to nap with her, have tried to tell her I'm napping too, tried giving her lots of freedom etc but no joy. The car is a tricky one, if we get the timing right she might drop off after 20 mins or so, sometimes an hour into a journey, sometimes never! Yesterday worked like a dream, we were planning on going to Brighton after lunch so took her to the park for the morning, let her have a carb heavy lunch with no sugars/fruit and then left. She sang for ages, messed around and finally dropped off very reluctantly but had a good 1hr 15. I've tried walking her around in the pushchair for hours but she will just mess about and I just give up.

I was wondering whether we start giving her a bottle of milk in bed because that is the way she goes to sleep at night (please don't shoot me for the cavity situation and the bottle in bed - alternative is a toddler who won't stay in bed and undresses herself). Don't want to give her milk as she doesn't need it and I know eventually she will probably refuse much lunch knowing that she will get milk.

Urgh I don't know. It's not a killer but its just not good for her and i would like to help her feel rested and happy as possible!

Oh and I would LOVE a nap too...can you imagine!??

[canela]

I would go with the bottle and not worry about it. It's just a temporary stop-gap until she is able to go the whole day without napping and not getting too tired. That day will come.

I went through this with number 1. In the end I stopped worrying about whether he would nap and just made sure I got 15 minutes snatched down-time during the day so I could deal with the moodiness.

[Sol]

I think she is dropping off her nap for good but still can't manage to get enough sleep at night maybe due to having a nap in the nursery but not at home; it will be better if she doesn't nap at all but sleep the 12 hours at night but it really goes with every child and you have to go with the flow. My oldest one drop her nap at 2.5 years old; at the beginning it was stressfull but I decided not to go against the current, she started sleeping 12 hours at night. The youngest one is 34 monthsold and still likes his nap most of the time which means he does not go to be until 10:00pm most of the time.

Try to put her to sleep with you and give her a bottle, relax but if she can't go to sleep there is nothing you can do about it or put her every day at nursery so you can get to rest before the second baby arrives. She probably feels you stress about it too an the problem is they pick up on everything which is not easy. Good Luck; it may be better after she turns 3

[minder]

You might have to face the fact that at nearly 3 your daughter might not need a nap during the day. Try giving your daughter the bottle of milk after lunch if you feel it would affect her appetite but bring her lunchtime forward.

She might manage a 'power nap' until the evening when the bottle of milk becomes the sleep association again.

Every child is different but my three children all had a bottle of milk at night. My eldest (now 21) was the worst and had to have a bottle of it (and tea) until he was nearly 4. Still have photos of it hanging out of his mouth!

All three have never had a filling by the way.

[susyp]

i would probably drop the nap altogheter and ask the nursery too - then her body clock will reset properly and she will go to bed earlier and sleep the 12 hours - without being tired and cranky in the day. i found it much better when my daughter dropped her nap when she was only just 2 - initially went to bed by 6pm but soon got used to it. she used to get the odd nap on the move as above but generally not - i did have to avoid going out from about 3pm to stop her having a late nap though!

susypx

oh and just to say also that i used to give her a nutriotious meal at lunch and then often just toast or cereal for dinner during the transition period as she was so exhausted by this point. She started afternoon nursery at 3 + 2 months so it ended up being good we dropped it so early and got her into a long sleep at night. have to say it was one of my highlights of toddlerhood - not having to worry about nap timings anymore!! freedom of just going out for the day!