Only pooing at night...

[little h]

Hi folks

I'm hoping someone put there has had a similar experience and can offer some words of hope! Our son is almost 5, and is a bright, sociable and happy boy. But, at almost 5, he still refuses to do poos in the toilet. Following the advice of health visitors we've tried bribery/reward charts/ignoring it/ waking him at night... Everything. We're now waiting for a paediatrician appointment . Has anyone been through this? He just saves up his poo and does it in his sleep. Apart from a brief phase where we somehow persuaded him to go in pull-ups during the day, I'd say this has been going on since potty training. He has an argument for everything - don't like the loo, don't like the noise, don't like the splash etc etc. he did it twice when he was about age 3 and has never done it since.

We want to help him - sometimes he is horribly constipated- but it's like there's nothing we can do .

I know this will be resolved somehow and sometime, but can't see how.

Has anyone been through this?

H

[intexasatthe moment]

My son had a little potty with back attached ,bit like a chair that he used to sit on . I wonder if that might be a half way measure ? It would be easier for him to have his feet on the ground ( assuming he's not got a foot rest on your current WC .and less of a splash and all that .

Obviously wouldn't help while at school but....maybe in the evening ?

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/like/230993136221?clk_rvr_id=545855120471&mt_id=635&crlp=1_262531&fitem=230993136221&linkin_id=8070675&kw=%7Bquery%7D&crdt=0&sortbid=12

I do feel for you .

[Knomester]

Hello. Have you ever tried the Movicol route so that he has no option to 'hold on' and to avoid constipation? We have had similar issues but with a younger boy. Please feel free to PM me.

[little h]

Thanks for these comments. - firstly he is too big for a potty and also very aware that he is a big boy so wouldn't use it anyway. He is very worried about his school friends finding out that he still wears pull-ups at night.

Secondly he needs to be in control, so a laxative of any kind won't work. If he had an accident at school I'm not sure how he would deal with it.

We find the whole thing very upsetting...

[Oxalis]

You have probably already found this site but just in case you haven't ... ERIC has useful info and a helpline

http://www.eric.org.uk

[Knomester]

Edited to send message by PM instead.

[RoLo1]

I would be interested to hear if you find any new routes helpful. My daughter is totally resistant to using the toilet to poo either, I feel I've tried everything, like your son I know she is well capable, it's really down to habit.

I wonder if at his age you could appeal to him by using a route such as saying 'mummy can't afford to buy any more pull-ups, they're very expensive, etc etc' and that he has a week to get used to the idea and then the final one is gone. You may have tried this, but just thinking that rather than it being about him, that it's more about you and the 'burden' of keeping him in nappies. Just suggesting this as I would imagine he has a sense of money and spending, and that sort of thing would have worked on me when I was a kid (I was pretty much raised to think that we didn't have money to throw around, it was actually not the reality).

Maybe to coincide with this final countdown, providing new books in the bathroom, giving him 10 minute slot after dinner and again before bed to poop? Showing him he could lay a few pieces of loo roll on the water so there's no splashing etc?

I do wonder what my grandmother's generation would have done - her 5 kids were out of nappies by the time they were 1 year old, I can imagine parents didn't have all this patience. It has made me think I might have to make my daughter feel a bit more uncomfortable - ie rather than pull-ups, put her in trainer pants/ plastic pants to sleep in. I have heard nappies are so good these days that's partly the reason kids just don't care when they pee and poop, so this could be another route with your son too?

Anyway, fingers crossed. There was a previous thread on here about medical issues leading to this type of thing, might be worth a search - especially if he is constipated (my daughter was constipated but have managed to get her to up her fluids).

Maybe if it carries on it's worth booking a GP trip?

[little h]

Thanks for all your messages. It does feel like one step forward 2 steps back ...

We tried movacol last year, and it helped briefly then got worse again. Maybe it's worth another go. We had a good phase earlier this year where he wS going every day at his request firing day in pull-ups - which felt like a big step forward. Then he gradually withdrew again. And now he's withholding regularly again.

We bribed him with a new toy to get him going during day again, and it worked for a few days but now we're back to square one again.

He is adamant he won't use a toilet - he has an answer for everything. Yet in quiet moments he admits he wants to be like other children but says he won't do it. It's worse than it's been for a while - he 's stopping himself at night too at the moment.

It makes us feel so helpless to see him like this. He wants to have sleepovers with his friends but doesn't want them to know.

We've been refered to a paediatrician but might try the movacol whilst we wait for our appt next February! Our doctor has been brilliant and has also referred us to child psychologist but the referral has been rejected - frustrating as we feel this is a behavioural issue. I agree with one of the replies here that our parents generation had less patience - but equally how do you get a child to change behaviour like this? You can't force a child to poo !

I've had a quick look on the Eric site - it's depressed me to read of children having issues still at age 8 or 10... I'll have another look for some pearls of wisdom.

We just want to help him - it's really affecting him now. Also we have another son aged 2.5 and I'm terrified well have similar issues as he's never seen his big brother sit on a loo and is constantly hearing him shouting about not wanting to do a poo .

Sorry feeling rather low about all of this

[buggie]

Has he seen "Poo goes to Pooland"? ( http://www.scribd.com/mobile/doc/28743654 )

Might just help reassure him - is a v silly story (& not going to be winning any literature prizes), but was designed to help kids who withhold/have issues with pooing.

[fapl]

You said he doesn't like the noise and doesn't like the splash, could it be a sensory issue? I know the pooing is the biggest issue for you all at the moment, but when you think about it does he have other sensory issues eg. get upset by hand dryers or other loud noises, water temperature, textures of food or fabrics etc.

[alieh]

I would at least encourage him that it is not unusual for a nearly 5 year old to still be in pull-ups at night. I think quite a few 5 year olds still are? True, that is usually because of wee rather than poo but that doesn't necessarily matter!

It seems like a good step in the right direction would be to try to get the movement happening in the day rather than night. Maybe using the Movicol and encouraging him to ask for a nappy when he is ready to go, plus some kind of incentive for the days he manages daytime rather than nighttime? And encourage him to be physically in the bathroom even while going in his nappy? Maybe after months and months of this becoming normal for him at least the nighttime pooing will end and then you can address the receptacle issue separately?

If he struggles with daytime pooing even in a nappy then I think you would have reason to really push for the psychologist referral because it would seem he's got so much anxiety about the whole bodily process that he can't let it go while conscious. If it's that bad, then I agree with you that a professional might be able to help address the anxiety issue.

I hope things get a bit better soon!

[Yuuna]

If it's possible, perhaps you should get an appointment with a psychologist privately? I know that NHS waiting times are rather long in this area particularly and they perhaps didn't see your son's case as serious. Or perhaps seek out a counsellor?

[redwillow]

My son had this problem with pooing we had a regular 15 mins after tea we would put Vaseline on his bum hole and then he would sit with a stool he hated his feet dangling and watch something on the iPad or phone I would always sit with him if he wanted me too and that worked for us we also invested in a family toilet seat as he felt safer on a smaller toilet seat. Lots of praise and encouragement we used to have private poo parties when he did it meaning cake!

Hope this helps its hard work but keep it up

[susyp]

My daughter is 5 1/2 and still in pull ups for weeing at night and I expect she will at least 6 before she stops needing them. She had a major issue with pooing when she started school and we had to use movicol to make her, but what really seemed to help was inventing a poo fairy, so she got money under her pillow every night when she had done a poo in the day. Given that I assume he might be close to experiencing the tooth fairy this

Might me worth a try? Also I put her on a big Potty in front of the telly and then the poo just came out. The Eric site is really good and gave me this idea.

Good luck, its horrible I know

Susypx

Also slightly weird thought but

My daughter and her friends are obsessed currently with poo jokes so you could even encourage this to make the whole thing a bit less serious?

[Sol]

http://mommyofftherecord.blogspot.co.uk/2008/11/does-your-child-hold-hisher-poop.html

Here is an interesting article. Good Luck! my little one, nearly 3 started holding up the poop as well and getting a bit constipated; I am planning a trip to the Dr tomorrow to get some movicol before it gets worse.