Toilet training

[azurh]

Hello,

Does anyone have any tips on toilet training?

My near 3 year old uses the toilet in nursery but has never actually done a wee at home in the toilet. i have the baby bjorn seat, a step for her to get easy access. I tried a while back but it was unsucessful so i gave up waiting for her to want to try. She would rather stay in nappies!! she loves underwear, we have bought doctor mcstuffins etc ones. She likes pull ups but she will just do a wee etc in the pull up.

Now her nursery carers have told us she is the last toddler in their group who needs to be trained ( pressure much!) but she only goes nursery 2 days a week and will be going 3 days a week next month to help the potty training along.

Also - i am not sure how to tackle accidents physically... in terms of i have light grey carpet in the house and black leather sofa's etc. I obviously dont mind my daughter having an toilet mishap but i dont know how to put preventative measures in to protect the carpet etc!

[Pickle]

It sounds as if she's ready, if she is successfully using a toilet at nursery.

Rather than wait for her to use the toilet at home, you need to lead the process. In the early days of training my kids (most recently my daughter who has just turned 3), I made going to the toilet part of our daily routine at key times in the day - when she gets up, after breakfast, before the school run etc. It doesn't take long for it to become 2nd nature to them, and start either doing it themselves or letting you know they need to go.

I've never used pull-ups, other than for nighttime, once toilet training is underway. I think it confuses them - choose nice pants, buy lots of them, and stick to them rather than swapping to pull-ups.

In terms of accidents, they will happen, it's part of life. Warm soapy water to sponge the carpet or wipe the sofa. Once toilet training is sorted get your carpet cleaned professionally if need be. We have cream carpets, and they've survived 3 children being toilet trained :)

[azurh]

Thank you pickle! what did you do at night times? I am not keen on pull ups but have bought them as to be honest the only experience i have is that of my mothers with me! and i just decided to use the toilet on my own accord!

I have been encouraging toilet trips. I think i need to be more proactive as you suggested and take her myself and we can read etc on the toilet.

[Pickle]

At nighttime I use a pull-up - but I encourage her to go to the toilet before we put it on, and leave her in pants until just before she goes to bed. My son took a very long time to get dry at night, middle daughter was very quick, and my youngest looks like it will take a while, but it tends to happen independently of them becoming dry in the day.

Good luck!

[ladyruskin]

Does your daughter respond well to reward charts at all? We have used them with our 3.5yo son for a variety of things including toilet training. He has runs of days when he has accidents, but on the most part that is because we have let our guard down. We are currently operating a 'no accidents this week and you get a chocolate on Friday' system, which has been working well, but he equally loves just putting a star on a chart.

In the early days it's more about instilling a sense of success when they do use the loo or a potty instead of focussing on having an accident.

We read a few books too. Pirate Pete's Potty Book was a hit with him, not with us and 'Everybody Poos' has been good fun for all!

[etta166]

Like Pickle, we built going to the toilet into the daily routine. For the first week or so you are in charge, but slowly the children get the picture and take themselves at the specified time (and eventually just go whenever they need to). I alsways make them go before watching TV, having a story, starting an exciting activity etc. when they might forget that they need to go.

Currently potty training #3, and thank goodness it's the last time :)

[missse22]

My youngest has been out of nappies since 2 weeks after his 2nd birthday ... which is great BUT every day without fail he poos in his pants!! He is now 2 years and 7 months and totally confident on the wee wee front but not poos!!! I'm tearing my hair out!!!

My elder son wasn't out of nappies till he was 2 and a half so I know Alex is still young and i should be grateful he's been toilet trained since 2. BUT any advice on poos would be helpful. Reward chart helped lots for the weeing but he hides in the house to poo his pants and doesn't care about getting a treat for doing poo on the toilet!!!

[patt1980]

My daughter was also v reluctant to poo in the toilet misse22 despite having been 'dry' for 6 months or so and would go off and do it in her pants. For us it was about a couple of things; having to ask for help at nursery etc with a poo where as she felt comfortable taking herself off for a wee (V independent!), also she was impatient to sit on the potty or loo for the time it would take for it to happen as she'd rather be off playing. We ended up sitting with her in the loo and teaching her that sometimes you have to wait and she could sing a little song or something whilst waiting and made a game of it. It took a couple of months but she got it by 2yrs 9 months i'd say.

[Convex]

miss se22 would he agree to poo in a pull up - ie, he asks you for a nappy, you put it on, he poos and then you clean him up straightaway? might help as an incremental step?

then progress to poo-ing over an open nappy on the loo/potty

then hopefully on the loo?

[Mutrik]

One of my boys pooed in his pants for a year after being dry. He also used to hide. If we found him hiding and tried to put him on the toilet he would become very agitated, scream and refuse to poo. And we didn't want to put him back in pull ups as he was dry at night. After a few months we bought a high step for the toilet from ikea so that he could sit more securely on the tolilet with feet firmly on step. Strangely from that point he started to improve. Some months later he suddenly decided he would do all poos on the toilet. (He never wanted to poo on the potty). I think our son just wasn't ready psychologically and we just really had to be patient with him and wait. It was quite frustrating and we had to clean many dirty pants! I remember wondering if he would ever start going I toilet!

[missse22]

Thank you so much for all your advice and support ladies.

Convex he doesn't even tell me when he's going to go .... sometimes he won't even tell me he has gone. So the pull ups thing wouldn't work.

He already has a step to the toilet that his brother uses but still no interest ... only used to go for a wee. My eldest son used to quite happily sit on the potty with some raisins watch peppa pig and wait till he done a poo. But Alex is totally different and won't sit still for more that 5 mins. He's always been like this refused to sit in a bimbo as a baby and would arch his back and turn till he was out lol

Health visitor said keep doing what I'm doing (not reacting just change him and say very little ... incase he is doing it for attention) and if it's the same in 6 weeks go back and see her.

It doesn't help that he doesn't poo at the same time every day so I can't even time it right!

Thanks again for all your help.

Simone x

[Kaiwai]

Missse22, have you tried emptying his poo down the toilet while he watches after you change him while, even asking him to help if he can. Telling him and showing him that poos belong in the toilet and not in his pants might get through to him after a while.

Good luck

[mima08]

Hi Missse22,

this might be totally random but have you heard of the book "poo goes to pooland"? Sounds pretty weird, but it's a little story about how a "poo" person goes through the plumbing system and gets eventually to this wonderful land... I think it was written by a health visitor or similar. In any case, I got an electronic copy and read it to my then 2.5 year old who was resisting the idea of toilet training. At the time it didn't seem to make much of an impact, however, months later, he told me that he always wants to poo in the toilet because then poo can go home to pooland... so it did make an impression after all and made him try... worth a go?

good luck!