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Looking for help with high needs 5 yo. (Counselling/ behaviour specialist)


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Looking for some sort of professional to help with our 5 yo DD.

She is very bright and flourishes in school - her behaviour is brilliant there and they are supporting her well to meet her ability.

However at home she completely and utterly melts down over the smallest thing- mainly if things are not in order or in 'her order'. And when I mean melt down we are talking a 30 min complete screaming fit from which is impossible to recover from. These happen 5-10 times a day. She was an easy baby but very hard work from 2 years onwards. It is getting progressively worse and all attempts to deal with it are not working.

My husband and I think it is time to seek some professional help. Do people have any suggestions of people we could consult? We are on 'attachment' parenting view point although are happy to enforce rules/ discipline if appropriate.

For info- she is v well behaved with childminders but can be challenging with grandparents (though better than with us). She really struggles to get to sleep and wind down and this does also affect her behaviour

Thoughts and suggestions welcome.

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Not quite as pronounced, but my 6.5yo is very similar. The worst part is that when DH is tired they wind each other up, and it ends in tears and shouting.


I think it gets worse prior to a developmental leap, then easier again for a while. But honestly we've been struggling in vain for while, so this better be a really flippin' big leap.


I've got no advice on where to go for help, but I just wanted to offer sympathy. xx

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GP referral is a good idea but it can take a long time before you get seen. In the meantime I can highly recommend several colleagues of mine who I regularly refer children and families to.


Dr Lucy Chan is the most local - she works on Wednesdays in ED but I believe she has a really long waiting list at present. [email protected]


Dr Donna Oxley has just started seeing private clients in HOP (I cannot find her E-mail at present. Will check and add this later)


Dr Priya Vigneswaran is based in Blackheath [email protected]


In addition there is a family therapist who I know who is based at the same place in HOP as Donna.

Pete Brown [email protected]


You are welcome to give me a quick call too if you would like to discuss. I have experience seeing children and families but don't offer this in my private practice. [email protected] or 07816 382810


Dr Christine Langhoff

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I suggest you try asking is mumsnet; There's more traffic there. It seems to me there could be an underlying reason but she only feels safe at home to release the stress she is going through.


Cranial osteopathy may help if there is a physical cause; it may help her to feel more relaxed. I have taken my daughter to see Ken Gordon in town; He is very good but expensive; she was a bit like like your daughter sometimes but has changed a lot since seeing him.

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