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When is the age gap so big you end up with an 'only' child?


bee74

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We have been thinking of having number 3. But our first is almost 8 and our second almost 5 (both Dec). By the time we decide, get pregnant and give birth it might be a year / a year and a half so making the ages gaps 6 - 6 1/2 and 9 - 9 1/2

Is that just too big? We fear we might end up with a child the other two won't end up playing/ interacting with and will grow up to be more of an only child and I will be the one who will have to entertain him/her ;-)

What are your experiences?

Thank you

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My husband is 10 and 12 years older than his little brothers. He played with them (though not as a peer) when they were kids and now that they are all adults in their 20s and 30s, all 3 of them are extremely close.


One of my best friends is the youngest of 3 girls with a similar gap as you'd have. She was also treated as the baby growing up (all the way through uni which irritated her) but now that they are all in the 30s, they are again very close (speak everyday, see each other frequently)


In the end its fine but in the early days you'll notice it. To be fair though, being close in age doesn't guarantee your kids will play together or even like each other. I know plenty of examples of kids and adults that have siblings close in age that don't get on / aren't close.


Have a kid if you want one and know the rest is just pot luck!

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I was 9.5 when my little sister was born - she was a real crowd puller amongst my friends at the time, and we, as adults, have a very close relationship. I loved having a baby sister, and then loved being able to spoil her when I started working and she was still at school.


She enjoyed having a slightly rebellious big sister that said yes to things like ear piercing when Mum had said no...

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My sister is 10 years older than me and my brother 5 years older.

My sister always looked after me when I was little and I adored her.

My brother and I never played, I was probably the annoying little sister who never wanted to leave them alone but I never felt like a "only child" and love having siblings now when I am an adult.

My sister and I are quite close and speak on the phone quite a lot!

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My eldest daughter was 13 when her sister was born. Was very excited at being a big sister and would occasionally baby sit for us ( we paid her and did not do it regularly). She loved taking sister out to see all the Disney Films as an excuse for seeing them herself. Little sister cried and very upset when the older one went to Uni.


They are now 43 and 30 living in Orpington and Worthing with their partners and text and email each other regularly and meeting up during school holidays. The eldest has 2 children 17 and 12 who although argue etc are very protective of each other - the 12 year old boy loves cooking omelettes for his sister. The younger one has a 2.5 year old and 9 month year old time will tell on this age gap

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Pugwash-- that story reminded me of my youngest brother in law. He was only 9 or so when my husband when to uni and confessed that at that age he thought my husband was being selfish for breaking up the family! He was clearly very upset even though there was a huge age gap.
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