Childcare options -opinions and suggestions welcome!

[Calsug]

Am sure this could be quite divisive but...

We?re expecting our first child this May and are looking at child care options, just wondering if we could have your opinions - my wife will go back to work 4 days a week when he is about 6 months old and we are not sure about either sending him to day nursery, shared nanny, child minder etc? the options of nurseries alone is quite daunting but we aren?t sure what really the best form of childcare is?!

Any suggestions, opinions etc? most welcome!

Many thanks

Calsug

[Convex]

Hi. my 2nd child went to nursery from 7months old and was fine. Took a good month for him to bond but the nursery were very patient and loving and it all worked out.

in reality the best form of childcare will differ from family to family. just find someone where you think they will be safe and loved and thats all you can do really.

if you are wanting to go back after 6 months you need to get on waiting lists now though!

[Saffron]

I'm not sure what's divisive about that...? Lots of people have to go back to work after a baby for many different reasons, and the best childcare option is the one that works for you.

Generally speaking, the younger the child (e.g., under ~2yrs), the better it is if he will have one-to-one care because continuity of care is understood to be less stressful than having multiple carers. That is to say, the more people that look after a very young baby or child, the more stressful it can become for him. So a nanny would be ideal from that standpoint. However, a nanny is also very expensive. You could have a nannyshare or childminder to reduce the cost, but if they are sick there are no other employees to take-up the slack.

A nursery is generally (not always) cheaper than a nanny, but obviously will not provide the intense one-to-one care that a nanny or childminder could provide, though a nursery with a high staff-to-child ratio would be able to provide good continuity. Plus, if any of the staff are off sick, the nursery will usually be able to cover for them. And in a nursery environment, the staff look out for each other. So if one person is having a difficult day or running late, others can help them. If your nanny is having a difficult day, he/she still needs to turn up to work on time and tough it out.

Conversely, if your own baby is sick, a nursery may send them home to recover, so as not to infect the other babies. However, a nanny should be fine to look after a sick baby, within reason. A nanny might also do light housework, depending on how you negotiate the contract, for example, running errands, doing laundry, or cooking an evening meal for you.

So, there are pros and cons to every type of care. Maybe speak with a few different childcare providers to get a feel for their services? Best of luck. xx

[Calsug]

Hi saffron the divisive point wasn't going back to work but what the "best" method of childcare is -

Many thanks for the advice, as I said we are negotiating a very new minefield of options so just hearing other parents views is welcome!

[midivydale]

I would if you can afford it go with a nanny if your baby is as young as six months. I have sworn that if I ever have a second child then I will do whatever I can to ensure that we have a nanny for at least the first two years. I really regret that I did not the first time around. I found getting a young child ready in the morning as well as the lack of options if they were unwell (which is frequent in the first few years) incredibly stressful. At the time, we could simply not afford a nanny though so made other arrangements (childminder followed by nursery). My baby was fine, my regret has more to do with how the childminder and nursery options worked for me and my other half. If you have family that can help in case of emergency (baby unwell) or a flexible employer then a nursery/childminder might very well work perfectly well.

Ultimately you will find a solution that works for your family, of course, and most people are happy with whatever choices they make. I just thought I would share my experience of regret as well, as we most often tend to hear of the choices that people are happy with.

[Giacomelli]

Re nurseries and childminders I would say they all have varying levels of strictness when it comes to illness/colds so it's good to ask the other parents. I think if a child has a temperature/something more than a common cold the best place is to be with mum/dad/guardian anyway whatever the childcare option you go for.

After having a not so great experience with a childminder with my first child (who was then quickly moved to a nursery at 10 months) I wouldnt hesitate to send a baby to a nursery you liked. My 2nd is starting next week at ten months.

I actually feel reassured that there is more than one individual taking care of my Children.... just wanted to give the other viewpoint

As others have said, it's a very personal thing and go with your gut. No right or wrong answer and you may need to change whatever decision you make based on how the child is doing but it does all work out in the end. Before I went back to work last time round I lost sleep thinking of the logistics of it all!

Good luck!

[alieh]

Personally, for one very small baby I would look for a nanny share. For me, this offers the best balance of cost and flexibility if the child is ill, etc. You can take turns hosting at each other's house so you get a mix of having the easy (but probably messy) days at your house, and taking them to someone else's some days. In this area there will be tons of people with similar aged babies that you could hook up with.

Good luck!

[Hickory]

Congratulations! It's hard work but worth it. With childcare, opinions are...well everyone has one. There is no 'best' method. What does your gut say?

[Calsug]

Hickory Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Congratulations! It's hard work but worth it. With

> childcare, opinions are...well everyone has one.

> There is no 'best' method. What does your gut say?

Thanks everyone for the advice so far

As for our gut feeling we're still not entirely sure! We went to an offstead outstanding nursery this morning and to be honest we weren't blown away by it which really prompted me to post this thread in the first place - we had naively assumed it would be exactly what we were after as it was well rated.

We're going to visit a few more nurseries to see if we can find one that feels right and I think if we still don't like them we will go down the child minder / shared nanny route.

[Monkey]

Nannies really make your life easier - no need to get child up in the morning, push a pushchair in the rain or the cold before or after a day at work. And, as others have mentioned, they'll provide your child with lots of one to one attention.

I couldn't afford it unfortunately. We went for a nursery instead and it's been great and made her very sociable. I was lucky my daughter was hardly ever ill but this could have been a problem as nurseries (like schools) don't take kids for two days after a vomiting episode for example. Something to bear in mind. On the negative side, I noticed her speech would develop very quickly when she spent a week with us when we were on holiday so I do think nursery wasn't a great place for her to learn to speak (too much going on, too much noise). Fast forward to year 3 and she's a very articulate little girl.

My advice when it comes to childcare is always not to set your heart on a specific solution. Go with the best person(s) you meet at the time -- whether they work in a nursery, or as a nanny or childminder. When I walked into her rather shabby nursery and saw the smiles on the ladies'faces, I knew this was the place.

[Pugwash]

My youngest daughter went to a work place nursery from 5 months until 4 years - I took her each morning on my way to work and hubby collected her.

Same daughter now has an almost 3 year old and is returning to work next week following the birth of baby No 2 a year ago. No 1 baby went to child minder - as daughter works 3 days a week term time only and found not many child minders in Sussex would be willing to take a child part time. Daughter has to travel around 18 miles each way to work so was important that child minder was on way to work. No 1 child his now at a Montessori Pre school 3 days a week and her brother will attend the original child minder 3 days a week term time only.

It all depends on what time you need to leave for work - my daughter found that having to leave home at 7.30 am - there were no nurseries open that time hence the child minder as by time got near to child minder it was nearly 8.30 am. The Pre school opens 8 am so Dad will take the older one on his way to work and my daughter will collect.

I9 believe it is consistency of care rather than type of care that is most important in the early stages. Regardless of type of care - you will need to budget that the majority of your wages will go towards child care.

[Passiflora]

I would say a registered childminder would be your best bet! Most childminders only accept enquiries when a child is born so you might need to wait a while!

[scareyt]

The best arrangement also depends what your jobs & commutes are like - if you both work long or unpredictable hours a nanny will be much less stressful than any other option. And life is much easier in the mornings if you don't have to get a baby/toddler up, dressed, breakfasted and delivered somewhere before you can get to work. Most of the differences just come down to logistics really, plus your gut feeling about the individuals involved. I would first figure out if you can afford a nanny, then go visit all the nurseries & childminders in locations that would work for you, and then go with your gut feeling. If you want a nursery or childminder place you need to get on waiting lists asap. If you want a nanny, you can start interviewing nearer the time. If you want to do a nanny share, I think people usually find a second family first, who have a similar approach to child rearing and live as near to you as possible, and then choose a nanny together. Good luck!

[Tallulahdoesthehula]

we have used nursery, childminder and nanny (we have three children). All are fine and there are good and bad in each category.

A nanny has been the option that works best for us. Not having drop off's/ pick ups is worth its weight in gold and the children like being in their own home and doing all the things they would normally do but for us working. Its also been the most flexible but that would of course depend on the nanny.

Its an expensive option with one child, if you can find a good nanny share that would be my recommendation.

Good luck