Jump to content

Anyone have a surprise third pregnancy?


Recommended Posts

We have three, difficult to say how planned or surprising it was at the time (7years back) but it's brilliant!


The transition from 4 to 5 is a big one as the little ones suddenly outnumber the parental units. It kind of means that their world carries more weight at home, which is really good as they experience agency in their world. It's almost more like growing up in bygone decades where they'd band together and cruise around on bikes, finding their own strategies for dealing with being small and not always equal.


Another thing is the question of space. Most families of 5 have less space than they might like meaning that there is a lot of sharing bedrooms, having to keep their stuff limited and out of each other's way. But these are great lessons in keeping your house in order before you start to take issue with the world beyond. Living a bit on top of one another also means they we all have to put the effort in to be both tolerable and tolerant. Group dynamics chop and change all the time. Naturally the wheels come off that trike regularly enough, but there's another great set of lessons for life going forward. On reflection, the intimacy it creates is just the most precious thing in my life so far. They'll be off on their own personal missions soon enough.


In short; congratulations! Take courage. It is new territory and will shake things up unavoidably but as the dust settles you'll start to see many many more benefits to the larger family than cons. Speaking from some pretty hectic experience that is. Good luck!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Posting for the first time in a while, feel like I shouldn?t be here (I live in nz now).


We had a 3rd, planned, but I don?t think it really makes a difference.


Personally I found my 3rd a whole lot easier than the previous 2. When she arrived I had one in reception and one in nursery (there?s 5 years between #1 and #3, 16 months between #1 and #2). It felt like she was an only child in a way, we had the days to ourselves while her siblings were at school.


Definitely echo what was said above. Space, both in cars and in homes, becomes an issue. Third children just have to fit in, from day 1. I?ll never forget doing the school run on a cold January morning with an 11 hour old baby (hubby had gone to Heathrow to pick up my Mum). That was just the start of her life as a baby sitting in the wings of ballet, school, football, music lessons etc.


My baby is 7 now. She?s infinitely more pleasant than mr 12 and miss 10 (going on 16). Sometimes it?s nice to have 3 to choose from :)


It changed our family dynamic for the better - My two youngest play well together (both girls), as do the two oldest. Wouldn?t change it, but would never have considered having any more!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • A repetitive tried and tested cycle that seems to be slowing down in London thankfully. Brixton was the start. Councils consciously and purposely let an area decline until that area is next on the list for social and ethnic cleansing and ultimately gentrification. In come the first wave of arty/ creatives to squat and house share. A few coffee shops and cool but inexpensive cafe/ bars and art spaces open up. The crackheads, dealers and other assorted criminals who were once left to operate openly and brazenly to sell, shop lift, mug, beg, purchase,  publicly consume on decent folks doorsteps, stairwells,in bin sheds and without fear of the law begin to be targeted, rounded up and moved on. A few more jaunty and sustainable coffee shops/ bars appear . The Guardian and other facilitators in the media jump on the bandwagon, first claims of vibrancy are rolled out. Next step a few cool retro clothing shops pop up selling ' reclaimed Levi's for more than they originally cost and ten times the price of what the recently departed charity shop charged. Foxtons open a branch and the arty types and first wavers/ drivers have there first moan about there initially paltry rents going up. The guardian do a generic lets move to Brixton, Dalston, Hackney, Deptford, Walthamstow type double pager. Interview a graphic designer or two who have just bought a former crack den on the manor for next to peanuts. They will later bemoan the next wave who have more money than them. Cool, edgy and vibrant are now the buzzword bingo must use lingo. Few more coffee shops ( how original ) Pop up everything,. Organic and sour dough move in. The night time economy starts to thrive, more cool bars and eateries open. More squats and the last crack house that was once one of many are cleared out. Second wave is around the corner.   All of a sudden there's a visible police presence again and the streets are safe for fun seekers with plenty of disposable cash to chuck about on a dose of vibrancy with added coolness. By this stage even the locally brewed beer is organic. There's queues outside the newly arrived organic, sourdough, artisan and sustainable bakers. Instagram has Brixton trending. The greasy spoon of thirty year has gone cause the lease is up and the landlord has hiked the rents up by 60/70%. Followed by small family run independents that served the community  for decades and more.  The local characters, activists, eccentrics are getting less and less. There's a new show in town for a week or two and until the next brand arrives. Brewdog move in. Former job centres are converted into bars but peak edginess means it's still called the job centre. Followed by a couple more chain eateries. The resident DJ'S and music venues are replaced by another generic brand boasting guest chefs. The Guardian lifestyle section is now on it's fifth or sixth orgasm. Turn a few pages and hypocrisy is rampant with articles on the evils of gentrification, foxtons, capitalism, social cleansing and unaffordable housing. The middle classes continue to arrive in there droves to buy into the vibrancy and multiculturalism supposedly on offer. There isn't much multiculturalism going on at the packed latest place to eat, drink and fart. The multiculturalism on show comes in the form of bar staff, doorman and cheap as chips uber drivers and delivery workers. Rice and peas, jerk everything, red stripe at six quid a can from some hipster haunt that is currently flavour of the month and the place to be seen. The first wavers are now blaming the latest hedge funded brand that's pulled into town for driving gentrification and there soon to be hastened departure to be first wavers again somewhere else. Less cool but up and coming here we come. Covid has certainly helped/ been a factor in slowing down the process of gentrification. I also think it may be the driver for almost putting a stop to it. Remote working, less need to move to London to be near an office, less disposable cash, sky high rents, worthless degrees that relied on that disposable cash , different priorities, knife and gang crime and a large dose of much needed realism has put a huge spanner in the works for the shitty process and cycle that is/ was the gentrification and social cleansing of working class London. Manchester and Liverpool is next on the list for the planners. Thankfully.
    • Can you just queue up to withdraw cash or are other transactions like stamp purchasing required?  Do M&S do cash back?
    • Or don't stop using cash. Stop using your phone or even your watch as a banknote. At the same time avoid the risk of having your card cloned at cash points, by hand held card readers, oyster readers and point-of sale terminals to name a few. God only knows how much damage we're doing to the planet because all the above must require a hell of a lot of resources and juice from the grid. It won't happen though. I know of quite a few people who deem carrying cash about as a pain/ chore. But not a big lump of plastic with a screen and full of personal information that can be easily gleamed. I feel the same about carrying a phone about so i don't most of the time. I'll be in the minority but certainly don't see or treat a phone as a necessity.  You can't get a banknote out of your sky rocket with a phone in your hand. It's become a source of dopamine for many. It's an addiction for many. They're an easy target for thieves. They're a godsend to cyber fraudsters who are stealing billions and are doing so without the need of cash points.
    • There used to be an Osteopath at The Gardens (not physio) but they have since left.
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...