Hi, I am trying to find out where and when the breast feeding cafes are in my area (SE22) but all the info on the internet is very dated and not sure it is the right information.
Also I need to take my 2 year old with me if that is possible??
I was unable to feed my first child but my second (only 6 weeks old) seems to be attaching okay.
Just not feeling very confident and so far the breast feeding experience is painful, emotional and sometimes feels impossible with 2 year old but I really want to continue if possible. A breast feeding cafe might help?
Can anyone help?
Also does anyone have any tips on how to help with bad wind - she seem to pull on my breast, go red in the face and cry lots when feding. This is then usual followed by a huge burp on massive poo!!
Many Thanks

Hi. I used to volunteer at southwark breast feeding cafes. Your closest cafes are Townley road, running Monday mornings 10-12 please turn up before 11.30. Or Peckham, on the 5th floor of the library running Thursday mornings 10-12 once again please turn up before 11.30 as this one in particular is extremely popular. Your fine to take children and partners with you, just so you know. Peckham is probably better if taking a toddler, they have a huge selection of toys to bring out to help distract older children whilst getting advice. I'm sure you will get answers and feel reassured attending the cafe.

Good luck x

Thank you very much x

Hi, Kamath. I'm so sorry to hear you're having a rough time. If you find it difficult to get out with a toddler in tow, Jill Dye (07816 136 477) is a certified lactation consultant who can come to you. She's not cheap, but it's money well spent. I originally saw her on a recommendation from forumite Pickle, and I know she has helped a lot of others too.

Have you tried b/fing in the bath? This can be soothing for you and Baby, and fun for Toddler too. The warm water might help Baby with the wind/pooh issue. Little Saff used to pull at my nipple a lot too when she needed a pooh/burp. Husband was always better at winding her. He just did a couple of hard thumps instead of gentle patting. The tiger-in-a-tree postion helped too: Baby's head in your elbow, facing down, belly supported on your arm. Baby's arms and legs hang over your arm. It looks like a tiger sleeping on a tree branch, hence the name.

Hello

Sorry about funny formating, but I was recently given these timings by the NCT:

MONDAY
Community Vision 9.30 – 11.30 Woodbine Grove, SE20
Dulwich Breastfeeding Café 10.00 – 12.00 Townley Rd Clinic, SE22
Sherrington Children’s Centre 10.00 – 12.00 Sherrington Rd, SE7
Discovery Children’s Centre 10.00 – 12.00 Battery Rd, SE28
The Slade 10.00 – 12.00 Erindale, Plumstead, SE18

TUESDAY
Deptford Breastfeeding Group 10.00 – 12.00 Shaftesbury Christian Centre, SCHOOL TERM TIME ONLY Frankham St, SE8 4RN
Bellingham BF Café 10.00 – 12.00 109a Randlesdown rd, SE6
Alderwood Children’s Centre 10.00 – 12.00 Rainham Close, SE9 2JB
Grove Family Centre 1.00 – 3.00 Tower Mill Rd, SE15
Sidcup Baby Café 1.00 – 3.00 New Community Church
24, Station rd, DA15 7DU
WEDNESDAY
Bermondsey & Rotherhithe BF Cafe 10.00 – 12.00 Rotherhithe Primary scl, SE16
Glyndon Community Centre 1.00 – 3.00 75, Raglan Rd, SE18
Baby café @ Storkway Ch’s Centre 1.00 – 3.00 Ridgebrook Rd, SE3
Coin Street Neighbourhood Ctr 10.00 – 12.00 Stamford St, SE1
Breastfeeding drop-in SE21 10.00 – 12.00 Rosendale Children’s Centre.
Elliot Bank Childrens Centre 1.00 – 3.00 Thorpewood Ave, SE26 4BU

THURSDAY
Peckham & Camberwell 10.00 – 11.30 5th floor, Peckham Library, 122, Breastfeeding Café Peckham Hill St, SE15
Brookhill Children’s Centre 10.00 – 12.00 Brookhill Rd, SE18
Beckenham Beacon 1.30 – 3.00 379, Croydon Rd, BR3 3QL

FRIDAY
Quaggy Children’s Centre 12.30 – 2.30 Lewisham Road, SE13
Jenner Health Centre 10.00 – 12.00 201, Stanstead rd, SE23
Kintore Way Children’s Centre 10 - 12 97-102 Grange RD, SE1
Robert Owen Children’s Centre 10-12 43, Commerell st, SE10

Hi!

I found the Townley road bf cafe a nice place to go and chat to other mums but for a useful bf nurse and advice try the jessops children's centre in herne hill on Monday at 10. I was quite often the only one there until 1030 (this was back in the summer) and they run toddler groups at the same time so you could try and entertain both little people at the same time? Anna the nurse was great with getting my little ones tongue tie sorted.

[www.guysandstthomas.nhs.uk]

I hope you found good support. It's a bit off patch, but if you're free on tuesday, I run a bf group in Deptford SE8. Loads of space for toddlers, skilled help, informal friendly group. Details as listed above in previous post. If you need further help please feel free to pm me, I'll help if I can, I'm a local Breastfeeding Counsellor and Lactation Consultant.

Thank you so much for all of this - what lovely helpful people. xx

Apologies for posting on an old thread - I was wondering if anyone has been to the Eliot Bank BF Cafe and would recommend it? I need help with latching (baby being mixed fed due to poor weight gain - she was given formula by the midwife at Kings when she was only 24 hours old...shattering my confidence, not helping with initial BF etc. etc...a whole different thread - maybe I should contribute to the BF v Formula thread...it's so complicated!).

My LO, now 4 weeks, had a good latch after we had some help from a great lactation consultant (Jill, actually) but now her latch has become like she's going onto a bottle (we cup fed for the first 2 weeks but it finally got too taxing for everyone). She won't open wide at all and I have to keep taking her off when she's just on the nipple and it really hurts. I'm trying to wean her off the bottles (4 "top ups" a day), but don't want to stop cold turkey because she's still not up to birth weight and I don't want to get readmitted to Lewisham! This morning she nursed for over 3 hours because I've removed the morning bottle. I'm absolutely fine with the time spent, but any help with latching would make all the difference especially as it would reduce the pain. She's still drinking, but am sure she could be more efficient again. I will reach out to Jill again, but also want to use the local support available.

Thank you in advance!

Dd, I would suspect a tongue tie ...

No experience of Elliot Bank BF Cafe, but definitely try to get help again where ever you can. I had a very painful start to bfing with Little Saff. Unfortunately, the problem wasn't tongue tie, so it wasn't as easy to fix as tt sometimes is. Our issue with Little Saff was a short tongue and high palate. The shape of the palate does change with age as the baby grows, so it will get better with time if that's the problem.


I also had/have Reynaud's syndrome, which is where your hands/feet get poor circulation due to capillary spasms. It can also happen in your nipples. In which case heat is better than cold for sore nipples. Keeping warm all over really helps.

If you're only offereing one breast per feed, try switching to always offering both but starting on the one you left off with the time before. You can also try a bfing supplements like fenugreek, blessed thistle, and goats rue. Tinctures or tablets probably generally have more active ingredients than teas.

If a nipple shield would help, don't worry about using one! I used a nipple shield on one side for about 3-4 months. The Mother Cars own brand seemed to be the lightest and most flexible, but there are many brands and varieties available.

I seem to recall things getting better around 6 wks, so hang in there!! xx

Have you tried clare kedeaves at kings? (not sure of spelling) at kings? She is goid at spotting tt and other issues such as high palate. I also had alot more luck with heat (ie warm showers) than cold.
I also got help from lactation consultant kate fisher, i would recommend them both dearly. Let me know if you need contact details.
I am sorry to hear that you are in pain and hope you get the help you need fast!


Best of luck!
C x

Clare kedves
I think you can ring and ask for her
She is very kind and knowledgeable

Thank you all so much - this forum has been so helpful (especially reading posts at 4am while feeding the LO!).

Fuschia - LO sticks her tongue out really far and I can see her drinking/swallowing well. Also, prior to the "bottle mouth" latch she now displays most times, she had a great wide open latch a la breastfeeding posters. Still manages that in certain positions. Do you think she could still have a tongue tie? Can I just call Clare Kedves to ask her some questions?

I'm taking Fenugreek (H&B tablets of 610mg - 3x3 a day) which seems to be increasing supply. No leaking boobs, but definitely feeling much fuller. Only been 4 days (and started with 2tabsx3 a day so have only just upped the dosage) so hoping for further increase in supply. I have a NUK shield I used in week 1/2 when I had bleeding nipples, but LO hated it. Plus the pain now is more like bruising and thankfully there's no shredding/skin peeling/bleeding as I had before. It's also bothering me less as I'm just feeding her whenever she wants and relatching her when it gets too painful.

I'm going to keep warm, keep positive (which amazing support like this really helps with) and keep feeding LO as much as possible. If she needs formula 2-3 times a day to get her weight up, then so be it. I'm going to be fighting chocolate bars and all sorts sooner than I imagine, so I think formula is not as evil as I imagined.

It helps that I'm finally forgiving myself for failing every step in my birth plan and then not having milk flowing from my breasts for my lovely girl. I'm sure I'm going to make a lot more mistakes as a parent and these were things I really didn't have much control over.

Thank you all so much - for these posts and for all other posts on the forum. They are so useful and supportive.

Dev

Dev, so nice to hear that you feel more positive, You are doing a great great job! It is so hard in the early weeks and nothing can really prepare you for it. There are ladies here with alot more success and good advice re bf than me i just wanted so say well done! Also have you tried bf in the bath like saffron suggested? Alot of my friends had success that way.
Are you on domperidone for your milk supply?
Again you are doing a great great job.

Cxx
PS yes you can call claire and ask questions over the phone (and to give you advice) but to diagnose she may need you to go and see her.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit was 2012:11:13:18:50:11 by midivydale.

Devsdev, your experience sounds so similar to mine (birth plan fail, nipple pain, supy issues and all!).
Well done for persevering... It's ridiculously hard to begin with but am here to say it gets easier. I bf my daughter for 10mths- and she was also combi fed throughout that time.

I haven't much other advice to offer but just to say there is such a thing as posterior tongue tie - which is much harder to spot than normal tongue tie. I know that the midwives who run the bf cafe at Peckham library are trained to spot tongue tie (they rule it out in my little one).

Also, for supply I found fennel tea really helped.

Good luck!

You can't 'fail your birth plan'!
What happens is that things don't go as you hoped or expected but you coped within, even if you came out of the other side feeling bruised both physically and mentally

Think of yourself with the same compassion for any other mother you talked to who is doing her best in the difficult early days xx

( and yes, do contact Clare - she has so much time for each individual mother and baby, it's a hUge boost



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit was 2012:11:14:09:32:18 by Fuschia.

I wish this forum had a "like" button. I'd "like" Fuschia's last post.

Especially "You can't fail your birth plan". I almost want to type that in capitals - except then I'd be shouting & that would be rude. Anyway. To repeat;

You can't fail your birth plan.

If you have a well baby, and well Mum at the end of the process of labour, birth and the first 6-8 weeks postnatally, then whatever you did you did it successfully.

Fuschia and Sillywoman, you're right of course (and I wish I'd said as much in my post)...
But I can definitely identify with the feeling of 'failure' even when the rational part of your brain tells you that you and baby are both healthy and that nothing you did was 'wrong'. I've pretty much reconciled myself with what happened during my labour, but a year on I admit to still having the odd pang of something (not sure what, sadness?) that things didn't quite work out as I'd hoped.

Dev, as you're realising it doesn't really matter in the end, and in a few more months time all this will seem a distant memory!

All the best

Agree, you cant fail your birthplan. I can relate to the sense of failure, sadness and in my case trauma is possibly the best word i can find. These ladies are right, those feelings will fade but you need time.
I posted a "how do you recover from a traumatic birth" thread earlier this year and had lovely responses.

The first few weeks are incredibly hard but it will get better/easier in all directions.

If feelings of failure/sadness/trauma frm birh persists do not hesitate to seek help. I went down that route and my feelings and thoughts changed eventually.
There is no rush to any of this, be gentle on yourself you have been through an ordeal which it takes time
To recover from. I just wanted to say that should you when the time feels right need help, there is help available.
Sometimes just getting it off your chest helps and if so i Would be happy to listen face to face or over PM.

Hang in there and like sillywoman says just getting through means you are doing grand, regardless of the hows and ifs and buts!

Hi - I went to the breast feeding cafe in peckham library on Thursdays at 10am. They were really helpful - turned out my little one had tongue tie and we were refered to kings on the Thursday and the procedure was carried out on the Monday - 2 weeks later all the feeding issues were solved! Anyway Caroline at the cafe was lovely & very helpful. Also I seem to recall there were mums with toddlers there too.

Not to minimise the complex emotions, even trauma, that can follow a difficult labour (as if having a healthy baby is the ONLY consideration and the mother's feelings aren't important) but I do think we need to be kind to ourselves and feel compassion for ourselves.

Having had an easy first birth, and twins naturally with minimal intervention, it was a huge shock to me that baby no 4 presented every problem imaginable. He was transverse, he went breech, I had ECV. I developed high blood pressure, had to drop my planned home birth, suffered an induction that took from Monday- Saturday, had a failed epidural, problems with my bladder afterwards, readmittance to hospital post birth with high bp and then a baby with a posterior tongue tie who didn't bf till 6 weeks. Do I think it was 'my fault'? No. Perhaps I could have refused induction when I did, gone home, gone into labour naturally and avoided much of that. But knowing the risk to the baby of maternal high blood pressure I accepted the interventions and the cascade that followed wasn't really a surprise, I was well informed enough to realise how it might go. I was sad that I never got a home birth or a water birth. In a way that bonus baby was my chance to have a less medicalised birth than I had for the twins, who by their nature tend to attract more fuss. But it was not to be, and I know I didn't 'fail' anything. In fact, I was quite heroic, going through a lot of it alone due to the heavy snow and my partner being stuck at home with the other children.

I do think the actual process of birth is life changing, and most women will have a lot of incredibly complex feelings about it afterwards.

Couldn’t agree more with Fuschia on this one. I think it’s worse when you are the first of your friends / family as the gap between what childbirth is and what you imagined it to be can be huge.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit was 2012:11:14:13:32:53 by LondonMix.

I've had 3 babies and never had a birth plan, other than "I want a baby at the end of it". I remember my NCT group all being a bit shocked that I had nothing written down, but in all honesty my approach with all of them was that I just wanted a baby. It's sad to hear people feeling they failed :-(

I didn't have a plan for the first one, just an independent midwife.
For the twins I did, especially knowing that I was going to be supported by hospital midwives I hadn't met before... Though my main concern was actually that twin 1 was skin to skin with my partner once I had to let him go to have bay no 2! It broke my heart to think of him being plopped in a cot! I has to be fairly flexible about quite a lot, but it all worked out fine despite a few issues that arose.

Last baby I had a plan but never really got near it... Apart from getting to stay in the labour ward skin to skin for a long time after the birth

I know plans are useful and give you a chance to think about how you would ideally Like your birth to.go but I do sometimes wonder if its a bit like the 'choosing your primary school's myth when actually there is, sometimes, little actual choice involved. choice brings heightened feelings if guilt if toy worry that your 'choices' were 'wrong'. obviously there are things you can do to increase the likelihood of getting the birth you'd Like but at the end of the day sometimes its just not meant to be. parenting beings with it almost inevitable guilt lol and I suppose it sometimes starts with labour and birth. despite the intervening years, greater knowledge about birth and parenting and the odd burst of objectivity I still sometimes 'blame' myself for a 'bad' birth and subsequent issues with my lovely baby even though I know it isn't the case.