Violent toddler..... what to do?
My toddler (21 months) is a lively and loving little girl, with an outgoing personality and a huge appetite for fun! She is also quite boisterous and physical, and very determined and headstrong. All great qualities when channeled in the right way, but in recent months she has developed a habit of hitting and pushing other children, and screaming and charging at them every time she feels they are encroaching on her territory (eg at the playground - on a piece of equipment she was using 10 minutes ago!!)
We have tried lots of things: talking to her calmly on her level telling her it's wrong (she loves the attention of this though), giving her one warning and then leaving the park/ friend's house if she does it again (doesn't get it at all!), trying to ignore and distract her to do something else, ignoring her and pouring lots of attention on the injured party - but nothing seems to work. She just laughs and runs off and does it again. The (very) slightly better results have come from not making a dig deal out of it and distracting her, but this approach is not easy when you have other parents staring daggers at you (fair enough though!). All too often we leave a playground within about 15 minutes - and then struggle to try to fill the rest of the morning or afternoon with a solitary activity - a bit sad for her I think. Even her more like minded friends seem to have had enough.
It's come to a bit of a head because she's doing it more frequently at daycare now (where she's been going 3 days a week for nearly a year) and is on report (!!!) - which i think just means they're keeping an eye on her! There they tend to try 1 minute timeouts on a chair away from the others, which she also finds funny apparently. The only time she does not do it (touch wood!) is in a little music class we attend - perhaps the structure and stimulation curb her appetite for mischief?! When she's there she is more into kissing others.
Anyway - any advice?:
What do I do????
How can daycare help with this/ manage her when I'm not there?
Any good non playground activities anyone can recommend?
Why is she like this? ("braces herself")
Is she a future bully?? (personally I don't think so as she's so loving in fact I think she loves other babies too much and can't cope with the excitement, and never does it with menace, but obviously it's a concern!)
Will she grow out of it? When?
Thanks in advance for any insights. Honestly, I wouldn't change her cheekiness for the world, but this is starting to have a negative impact on her days and friendships