Jump to content

Giant Edible Snails (Lounged)


Michael Palaeologus

Recommended Posts

katietatie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Not a clue about the legalities, but you can get

> them in Brixton too. I work in a secondary

> school, and one of our science teachers took pity

> on some and they now live happily in her Biology

> lab!


Katie, do you ever persuade a bald male member of staff to allow the giant snail to be placed on the top of his head?

And then place bets as to which side of his face the snail will fall off first.

If you do, then tu salut, if you don't then you're missing a trick that could make staff meetings a lot better attended.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

EDOldie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> How does one slaughter a giant snail for cooking?


The quickest and most humane method is to introduce said snail into a Daily Mail focus group as a teenage-knife-crazed-property-price-affecting-paedophile. It's average life expectancy is approximately two seconds.

However this is said to cause the muscles to contract, thereby possibly toughening the meat.

The other method is to whisper in the snail's ear, that he has been booked as both a feature and an interviewee on the Vanessa Feltz London 94.9 radio show or programmme. On hearing the news the snail will lose all will to live.

He will go into a decline and slowly die. Gourmands favour this method as apparently it adds succulece and a tang of morbidity.

Hunanitarians shun it, and the EU have concerns.

Vanessa Feltz is quoted as saying "Is there a snail community I need to be worried about?"

Anyway, as Kurt Cobain one remarked Nevermind.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

EDOldie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> How does one slaughter a giant snail for cooking?



Funny you should ask that, I asked Bola Amole, the owner of BIMS a few months ago and got the following


Step 1 - Squeeze Lemon or Lime Juice into the open part of the shell to draw out any impurities

Step 2 - Place the snail in cold water and bring to the boil (slowly and humainly sends it to sleep) OR drop it in boiling water (not so nice for the snail)

Step 3 - Crack the Shell and extract the meat

Step 4 - Chop the meat and cook in various dishes (i.e. Stew)


In answer to the questions

1. It is not bush meat - regardless of where it comes from, The Shops down Peckham have special import licences if they bring them into the country

2. They are legal, if not to everyone's taste

3. Funny you mention Job adverts, as BIMS had one up earlier this month as it is a kind of specalised job to keep them alive (they hate the cold)

4. Yes - they are good Scram - and if you haven't tried one before, then venture into Lolak's on Choumert Road and try them in stew (if your mind can get past what you are eating)

5. They aren't easy to grow here as they like heat rather then cold... but they are grown in the country too and many are kept as indoor pets

6. No one in Peckham stocks Puppy Dog's tails - you can however get them from Mr Rose in ED (So I have heard)


Now as to the point of Garlic Butter - man would you stink after eating a whole one ... Imagine the amount of butter and garlic needed !!! (and as for the Snail Fork and Tongs... they would need to be made at an iron works ...)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't need to crack the shells open... easy enough to pick out with a cocktail stick, or better still, one of those little forks the French have for this exact purpose.


What's everyone's favourite snail dishes? The garlic butter combination that Libra Carr mentions is of course the most well known, pernod butter is a good one too. Snail cassoulet is another good one. Anyone brave enough to try Heston Blumenthal's Snail Porridge? http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/database/snailporridge_74858.shtml

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jeremy Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Don't need to crack the shells open... easy enough

> to pick out with a cocktail stick, or better

> still, one of those little forks the French have

> for this exact purpose.

>


I would like to see the size of the cocktail stick you use on the African Land snails in questions sir .... or are you a giant amongst men !!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

HonaloochieB Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> EDOldie Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > How does one slaughter a giant snail for

> cooking?

>

> The quickest and most humane method is to

> introduce said snail into a Daily Mail focus group

> as a

> teenage-knife-crazed-property-price-affecting-paed

> ophile. It's average life expectancy is

> approximately two seconds.

> However this is said to cause the muscles to

> contract, thereby possibly toughening the meat.

> The other method is to whisper in the snail's ear,

> that he has been booked as both a feature and an

> interviewee on the Vanessa Feltz London 94.9 radio

> show or programmme. On hearing the news the snail

> will lose all will to live.

> He will go into a decline and slowly die.

> Gourmands favour this method as apparently it adds

> succulece and a tang of morbidity.

> Hunanitarians shun it, and the EU have concerns.

> Vanessa Feltz is quoted as saying "Is there a

> snail community I need to be worried about?"

> Anyway, as Kurt Cobain one remarked Nevermind.



So, all done at a snails pace then?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...