http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/list.php?20 EN Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:58:13 +0100 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:58:13 +0100 The Lounge Phorum 5.1.25 60 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,528011,528011#msg-528011 AllyCat Thanks!]]> The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,528011,528011#msg-528011 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:58:13 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,528010,528010#msg-528010 cate The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,528010,528010#msg-528010 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:57:47 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,528005#msg-528005 DJKillaQueen The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,528005#msg-528005 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:51:41 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,528004#msg-528004 RosieH
I [b]had[/b] thought you meant the knife-wielding maniac was cuckoo, but you meant me, right?

In my defence, expat's right - you don't use my German steel for a hacksaw. And he was a redtop journalist. And he loved Rupert Murdoch. And he looked really @#$%& smug like the control freak he was when I came back from the bathroom and he'd arranged the flowers (in the wrong vase - they looked shocking!) and lined up my kitchen like a scene from Sleeping With the Enemy. And he was wearing a really really bad shirt.]]> The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,528004#msg-528004 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:50:52 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,528002#msg-528002 DJKillaQueen
Anyway - bought any nice dungarees lately?[/i]


Dang - so much for my self enforced ban....has lasted all of five minutes (so weak!)......

I would rather deal with a comment about crew cuts and barbers head on in a witty or clever way than censor and pilory the comment (esp when it's obvious there is no malice intended). That's what discussion is and when it comes to serious issues, that clearly are racist or homophobic then the ONLY way to deal with them IS head on and in a public domain.

I have to be honest and say that if all it takes is a comment about barbers to uspest someone then they might need to ask themselves whether a forum is for them. I would hope that most people are capable of telling a comment that is laced with malice form a comment that is tongue in cheek whether they know the person writing it or not.

As for dungarees...I have a couple of pairs lol.....;-)]]> The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,528002#msg-528002 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:49:09 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,527998#msg-527998 Administrator -------------------------------------------------------
... Worse still, Admin then go and
> publish that in a effort to reprimand the thread
> and I am forced to publically firmly out myself to
> defend myself from that. I'm not particularly
> happy about that. Admin could have pm'd me and had
> a discussion privately (as is usually the case)
> but on this occasion chose to do things this way.

I had asked politely on another thread to please leave it out and let it lie. That was ignored.

Some people don't like to confront antagonists, that's one reason the moderators and I are here, people call on us to help or step in on their behalf. Not everyone wants to fight a battle on a forum, there shouldn't even be battles on the forum, especially this forum.]]> The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,527998#msg-527998 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:43:40 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527996#msg-527996 Brendan The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527996#msg-527996 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:43:17 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527995#msg-527995 RosieH I love Brendan la la la


Not [b][i]solely[/i][/b] for the purpose of canape-prep...]]> The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527995#msg-527995 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:43:14 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527982#msg-527982 Brendan The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527982#msg-527982 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:36:56 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527976#msg-527976 HonaloochieB The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527976#msg-527976 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:34:56 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527973#msg-527973 expat He used your chelfs knife?!?!? No wonder you dumped him..]]> The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527973#msg-527973 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:32:11 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527971#msg-527971 legalbeagle The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527971#msg-527971 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:30:08 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,527967#msg-527967 Marmora Man -------------------------------------------------------
> There used to be a shop on Oxford St that sold a
> t-shirt with "Nobody knows I'm a lesbian" on it in
> big letters. I really wanted, but never had the
> guts, to buy it. I thought a bloke wearing it
> would be fabulous irony.




And a tall, rangy, shaven headed black chap was wearing said T shirt on Lordship Lane yesterday afternoon - sighted outside Co-Op at about 4.30pm. I thought it looked ironic.]]> The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,527967#msg-527967 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:25:52 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,527965#msg-527965 edcam -------------------------------------------------------
> But Ed it has to be taken into account that there
> are groups of people that ARE friends. And if we
> worried about everything we ever write or say
> because someone somewhere might be offended we'd
> never speak.....
>
> You've said it.....there was nothing overtly
> offensive and the over reaction is I'm afraid to
> say is something I really am not going to bother
> with anymore....so to quote the dragon's
> Den...'I'm out' (that's not a pun either but it
> will be my last word in the lounge or anywhere bar
> my football group).


I know what you're saying and I do sympathise but the basic fact is that it's a forum accessed by many - some of whom don't know anyone, don't post regularly, perhaps don't have the confidence that others have to post and a little sensitivity needs to be shown. Far be it from me to be the Defender of the Lesbians (although it's quite a nice title!), they can be a bit of an easy target in my experience and jokes about barbers and crewcuts may offend some (whether that's oversensitivity or not.)

Nothing wrong with a good debate here though, especially in the lounge. I've engaged in them in the past but you can't forget that a stream of jokes at the expense of one group of people may for some be a joke amongst friends and for others be a bit unpleasant. Similar references around race wouldn't be tolerated would they?

Anyway - bought any nice dungarees lately? :))]]> The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,527965#msg-527965 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:25:12 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527964#msg-527964 Brendan The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527964#msg-527964 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:22:19 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,527959#msg-527959 DJKillaQueen
You've said it.....there was nothing overtly offensive and the over reaction is I'm afraid to say is something I really am not going to bother with anymore....so to quote the dragon's Den...'I'm out' (that's not a pun either but it will be my last word in the lounge or anywhere bar my football group).]]> The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,527959#msg-527959 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:17:37 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527958#msg-527958 HonaloochieB The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527958#msg-527958 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:16:59 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527956#msg-527956 Brendan The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527956#msg-527956 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:14:37 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,527950#msg-527950 DJKillaQueen
Just for the record...it's Funny how someone accuses me of homophobia privately (because 'gay-slating' is an accusation of just that) but doesn't have the balls to do it publically.....Worse still, Admin then go and publish that in a effort to reprimand the thread and I am forced to publically firmly out myself to defend myself from that. I'm not particularly happy about that. Admin could have pm'd me and had a discussion privately (as is usually the case) but on this occasion chose to do things this way.

So whoever made that comment/ complaint - I hope you are pleased with yourself. (And I'm sorry Sean the people who sometimes complain don't post on the threads they complain about).

I'll just stick to my foootball thread in future.....where I don't have to deal with such bs.]]> The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,527950#msg-527950 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:11:29 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,527942#msg-527942 edcam -------------------------------------------------------
> The only people making an issue out of this are
> people who haven't posted and are complaining. To
> descibe the thread as a gay slating thread is the
> over reaction imo (and accuses me of something I
> and yourself and those others that have posted
> would never do) - I would be the first to ask it
> be shut down if it was.....and I think it's right
> to respond to that.
>
> Obviously there's a difficult balance to be struck
> in a forum where you have a lot of people that
> know each other and have met, and new posters who
> don't always get the humour or tone of some posts.
> But the forum is a real 'community', not a cyber
> one so yes, sometimes conversation will resemble
> pub conversation more than anonymous cyber stuff.
> Mountains out of molehills comes to mind and I do
> think everyone just needs to lighten up a little
> and calm down. Again that's just my opinion.


I didn't complain because I wasn't sufficiently offended but you are very wrong when you say this is a "real community" rather than a "cyber community". You may be chums with some people and know them, in person, which is fine but many posters here see it for exactly what it is - an internet forum where there is a certain amount of etiquette to be followed.

I'm gay and I find it very amusing when some of my closer friends take the p*** and are un-PC about my sexuality. Specifically I have several very close lesbian friends and we often rib each other in a way which would be offensive to strangers (and indeed other friends with whom I don't have that kind of relationship.) This only comes about through knowing people well and negotiating unspoken boundaries. This isn't something you can do on an internet forum and you can't expect people who don't know you to develop a thicker skin just because you're not offended.

Having said that, I'm sure there's a certain amount of overreaction going on but to dismiss those who are offended is a little patronising don't you think?]]> The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,527942#msg-527942 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:08:06 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527939#msg-527939 HonaloochieB For the latter it's particularly effective when bracketed by 'cloud' and 'land'.]]> The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527939#msg-527939 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:05:33 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527932#msg-527932 Brendan The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527932#msg-527932 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 13:56:39 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527930#msg-527930 Brendan The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527930#msg-527930 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 13:55:54 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527923#msg-527923 RosieH
Definite shades of Patrick Bateman.]]> The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527923#msg-527923 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 13:42:50 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527922#msg-527922 Loz The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527922#msg-527922 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 13:40:14 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,527913#msg-527913 Jah Lush The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,527913#msg-527913 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 13:19:34 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527911#msg-527911 HonaloochieB Let's just say this was a very long time and several stone ago and today I would carefully risk assess the impact of intruding on my squeeze in this fashion.
I would almost certainly take into account the emotional effect on said squeeze and the danger in which I was placing myself and the legal ramifications.

I think it highly unlikely I'd take the same course of action, so you see what a reformed mature character I have become, a wiser head now sits atop these shoulders and I have put aside childish things.

And I got myself comprehensively dumped, and I really liked her too, so really who was the victim in all this?

I mean, really?]]> The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527326,527911#msg-527911 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 13:13:59 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,527907#msg-527907 SeanMacGabhann
Among them is the fact, which I told you yesterday, that people who complained have also posted

To also state that new people don't "get" the forum is ironic. In the old days people took notice of what admin said and didn't get quite so het up]]> The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,527907#msg-527907 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 13:07:11 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,375674,527904#msg-527904 cate -------------------------------------------------------
> If they let women in, they are not a barbers.

Why would that be? Barbers originally meant that they cut beards. Cue bearded lady jokes.....]]> The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,375674,527904#msg-527904 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 12:59:46 +0100 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,527898#msg-527898 DJKillaQueen
The only people making an issue out of this are people who haven't posted and are complaining. To descibe the thread as a gay slating thread is the over reaction imo (and accuses me of something I and yourself and those others that have posted would never do) - I would be the first to ask it be shut down if it was.....and I think it's right to respond to that.

I do think there has been an over reaction to the other threads (now deleted)......and I do think had they been a wink at any other issue other than pink ones we wouldn't be having this discussion. I may wrong on that but it's what I think. I can think of many threads that parody other threads that have never been deleted or censored for example.

Obviously there's a difficult balance to be struck in a forum where you have a lot of people that know each other and have met, and new posters who don't always get the humour or tone of some posts. But the forum is a real 'community', not a cyber one so yes, sometimes conversation will resemble pub conversation more than anonymous cyber stuff. Mountains out of molehills comes to mind and I do think everyone just needs to lighten up a little and calm down. Again that's just my opinion.]]> The Lounge http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,527449,527898#msg-527898 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 12:48:41 +0100