Forum Sponsors

www.nannycentral.co.uk

www.no-flies.co.uk

www.jhphysio.com

Advertise here

The East Dulwich Forum
Would you recommend your East Dulwich doctor, dentist or butcher?
Goto Page: 12Next
Current Page: 1 of 2
messageSex with the manny
Posted by Ted Max 04 April, 2011 15:35

I'm thinking of retraining as a manny as I think there'd be plenty of work, it would pay better than my current role, and the job would suit my natural accomplishments.

My only worry is that I will be plagued by constant demands for all the sex from off of the mums and dads of East Dulwich.

So to the mums and dads that post here, do you think if you were to meet me out and about with my young charges you would be able to resist slipping me your phone number and asking me if I get my nights off?

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by Chick 04 April, 2011 15:37

Manny?

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by zeban 04 April, 2011 15:39

man nanny i think

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by Ted Max 04 April, 2011 15:40

We prefer male nanny. Or just nanny. But yes, you have the general idea.

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by Chick 04 April, 2011 15:45

Having met you I think you'll be safe and not pestered.

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by Ted Max 04 April, 2011 15:58

That's good to hear, Chick, although rather rude of you.

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by Chick 04 April, 2011 16:15

Ok I lied. We have never met.

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by katie1997 04 April, 2011 16:30

And there was me thinking this was going to be about 'Black Books'...

Anyway, go for it Ted and good luck.

I reckon there's huge demand for it* around these parts.


* the manny

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by Ted Max 04 April, 2011 16:39

Thanks for the clarification, Chick.

Thanks to you too, Katie. Although your good-natured innuendo is typical of the sort of thing I'm afraid I might have to put up with as a nanny.

I had to come down hard on that sort of thing when I was a tennis coach/ personal trainer.

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by embo71 04 April, 2011 16:40

how hard?

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by Ted Max 04 April, 2011 16:42

The main thing, embo, is to make sure that the client is absolutely certain about the position they are putting me, and to some extent themselves, into.

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by katie1997 04 April, 2011 16:49

big grin

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by Ted Max 04 April, 2011 16:51

I feel this is a look I might want to avoid. To me it just reeks of a sort of seedy sexual availability. With a pony tail.

So I was thinking some sort of a uniform might be a good idea.

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by embo71 04 April, 2011 16:53

I can understand that you would want to avoid awkward positions... that could be tricky, not to mention, uncomfortable, for all involved!

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by Peckhamgatecrasher 04 April, 2011 17:23

What would your CRB check reveal?

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by *Bob* 04 April, 2011 17:33

Is that really a actual photo..? Or a photofit of slightly mismatched body parts?

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by Annette Curtain 04 April, 2011 17:43

Fancy a threesome ?

Nettesmiling smiley

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by candj 04 April, 2011 20:46

I would never sleep with the help. Good luck with your career change though.

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by Ridgley 05 April, 2011 10:41

That particular job comes with the territory a hard cross to bare all those frustrated sex starved house wife of EDbig grin

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by Ted Max 05 April, 2011 11:16

Peckhamgatecrasher, it would be very unfair if past indiscretions on my part were to hamper my employment opportunities for working with the local young people. Anyway, all concerned were consenting adults, and I like to think I brought some happiness into those women's lives.

*Bob*, I agree he looks a state. This is why I am proposing a uniform. Perhaps something like a chauffeur, but without the hat. It would have to be a good suit, though; something with a bit of movement, not too structured, but smart. Certainly not one of those Next static-generators the Addison-Lee chaps scratch themselves into for an 18 hour shift.

Annette Curtain I refer you to my answer to PGC.

candj, Thanks for your good wishes and for clarifying your own socio-sexual morality. I'm not anticipating direct offers from my employers, but am rather concerned that their friends will be all over me like cherry blossom falling onto on a verdant, windblown lawn.

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by Ted Max 05 April, 2011 11:23

Ridgley, an unimprovable typo leavens the dirgeful stream.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit was 2011:04:05:11:24:37 by Ted Max.

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by HonaloochieB 05 April, 2011 14:42

As an NNEB (Nursery Nurse) trained chap of some years standing, I remember vividly the part of the training where I had to work in a family home.

The lady of the house took great delight in bringing me and the kids to playgroups and play 'dates' at her friends' homes.
It's important to remember that this was several years and several stones ago, and I don't think I'd be in violation of The Trades Description Act to describe myself as something of a 'hottie'* as the modern vernacular has it.

Anyway the fashion in which the mummies flirted and made mild innuendos gave me the distinct impression that had I wished to take advantage of the situation I could have seen more sex than a policeman's torch.
Of course my natural gentlemanliness and rigid professional code meant I didn't take advantage of the situation.
Though being but flesh and blood it became harder and harder as the days went on, and I confess to finding great relief when I handed in my final report and bid farewell to the family.

I suppose I should have felt soiled and cheapened at being treated as some sort of sex object, and indeed perhaps a more sensitive 'depthy' sort of cove would, but on reflection I was happy as a dog with two dicks.

As for the best course of action, Ted I suggest uyou take a golfer's stance and just 'play it where it lies'.

Good luck.

* I've just looked at some old snaps from the time, and I don't think 'stunning' could be dismissed as hyperbole, franky.

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by Ted Max 05 April, 2011 15:48

Sight unseen, I reckon you've still got it going on, Cheebs. I'd have been flinging a few rigid codes at you myself, twennery-summery years ago.

You reminded me of a time when I once ran Poettery courses in the Camargue - a multi-media arts venture in which shapes were thrown in words and clay. It was, I fear, always more of a typo than a business model.

But for one late summer, as the wild bulls ran and the flamingos turned the skies terracotta, a trickle of women of a certain age, often but not exclusively American, would submit to my tuition.

But all this has nothing to do with my current life goals, of raising the young people to a better understanding of their place in a world where care for them is outsourced to a succession of Australians with half a drama degree and a summer camp internship to their name.

I think a man of my experience could find a place in this world. But, I'll say it now, the constant sexual objectification would have stop.

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by HonaloochieB 05 April, 2011 16:49

Seen Ted, seen.

But I fear the sexual tension between you and the mistress when you remove your spats and unknot your bow tie for a lively game of swingball with her eldest may be too much for her to bear.
Weakness thy name is woman and all that.

I imagine her savouring the memory until the next time Laurie is in Brussels.
Then in the wee hours comes a-tapping gently rapping on the Max bedroom door.
You start like a fawn and the copy of Spinoza's Tractatus de Intellectus Emendatione you are absorbing falls from nerveless fingers.
You cup your hands around your mouth and start to make loud snoring noises (think Basil in The Wedding Party episode when he mistakenly thought that Mme Peignoir was storming his portals but it turned out to be Sybil) in order to fool the sex crazed bint, but to no avail.
She enters the Max boudoir and exercises her droit de seigneur over which I prefer to draw a discreet veil.

However it's probably worth mentioning her throaty whispering of "Teddy-Toodles be nice to mummy" throughout added insult to violation.

Anyway in the aftermath when your employer has taken her leave, you lie in bed musing philosophically on the experience.
Lanquidly you retrieve the fallen volume and wonder where Spinoza stood on the matter of happy two-dicked dogs.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit was 2011:04:05:16:55:09 by HonaloochieB.

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by dullified 05 April, 2011 16:49

If "We prefer male nanny. Or just nanny." Then why didn't you title the post "Sex wth the Male Nanny"?

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by HonaloochieB 05 April, 2011 16:53

dullified Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If "We prefer male nanny. Or just nanny." Then why
> didn't you title the post "Sex wth the Male
> Nanny"?

I would say 'schoolboy error' dullified, but in the context of the thread I fear it may get us all put on a register of some sort.

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by katie1997 05 April, 2011 17:07

My good friend (male) often reminisces about the youthful, summery days he spent as a deckchair attendant in Eastbourne during the 1980s. Said it was the most sex he's ever had (on the job, so to speak).

He used to let the topless bathers go free, after some lingering discussions with them on deckchair hot spots and related costs. He likes to think it was the way he held his ticket machine at a jaunty angle that attracted them.

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by legalbeagle 05 April, 2011 19:48

I would echo comment above. Stick to ED/Peckham and you'll get trouble. But those in the village would simply NEVER sleep with the help.

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by Annette Curtain 05 April, 2011 20:34

legalbeagle Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I would echo comment above. Stick to ED/Peckham
> and you'll get trouble. But those in the village
> would simply NEVER sleep with the help.


Indeed, and they only do "it" with the hubby as a duty.

You know, in return for pin money.


Nettewinking smiley

messageRe: Sex with the manny
Posted by Dorothy 05 April, 2011 22:15

Ted - I would like to hear more about your "natural accomplishments".

Goto Page: 12Next
Current Page: 1 of 2

Back to top of page
Sorry, only registered users may post in this forum.
Donate                   Terms of use                  Help & FAQs                   Advertise               RSS rss feed               Copyright 2006 - 2018 East Dulwich Forum