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messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by JohnL February 03, 09:59AM

EDBoost Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Peckhampam Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Craigyboy, empathy or commonsense is needed and
> a
> > children's' playground is not a public area
>
> How is a playground in a park NOT a public area??
> Anyone can go in or out. Not saying it wouldn't be
> weird if there was a guy going just to see kids at
> a playground, but it doesn't have to be for
> perverted reasons!
>
> The point if this thread is to see if it was right
> to call out a guy on a public forum and suggest
> he could be a peodo, when in reality he's just
> sitting there minding his own business.
>
> People shouldn't be so quick to judge. Your
> statement makes no sense at all and ridiculous.

Because of the byelaw. I don't think the intention of the byelaw is that people who walk there maybe dangerous - it's that they make children and parents feel uncomfortable.

So many people may have many innocent reasons for being there though.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit was february 03, 10:01am by JohnL.

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by Upwind February 03, 11:09AM

craigyboy71 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I know East Dulwich seems to have been taken over
> by young families, but as a single male I can't
> see the problem with this guy chilling out in a
> public area at all. Let the man do what he wants
> as long as he isn't causing any harm, or breaking
> any laws.

But he was breaking the park byelaw by being in the playground without a child. He had the whole of the rest of the park to sit in!

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by Upwind February 03, 11:18AM

rahrahrah Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> macutd Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > this is a really difficult situation and I feel
> > very cautious about writing anything. But it
> seems
> > very sad that an adult is seen as a pervert if
> > they are standing near children playing.
>
> This. Perhaps he's enjoying watching the kids play
> in an entirely innocent way. The assumption that
> there must be some sort of perverted sexual motive
> is just so sad.

The OP didn't make any such assumption! It was all the numpties on here accusing her of calling the man a paedophile, when all she said was that she was a bit concerned.
Some of you need to have a really hard look at yourselves with the way you become so outraged at an innocent comment that you don't appear to have read properly!

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by Upwind February 03, 11:20AM

EDBoost Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Peckhampam Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Craigyboy, empathy or commonsense is needed and
> a
> > children's' playground is not a public area
>
> How is a playground in a park NOT a public area??
> Anyone can go in or out. Not saying it wouldn't be
> weird if there was a guy going just to see kids at
> a playground, but it doesn't have to be for
> perverted reasons!
>
> The point if this thread is to see if it was right
> to call out a guy on a public forum and suggest
> he could be a peodo, when in reality he's just
> sitting there minding his own business.
>
> People shouldn't be so quick to judge. Your
> statement makes no sense at all and ridiculous.


FFS! No one knows or needs to know why he was in there. The fact is that the law states he should not be in there without a child. It really is that simple!

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by KidKruger February 03, 11:30AM

"The OP didn't make any such assumption! It was all the numpties on here accusing her of calling the man a paedophile, when all she said was that she was a bit concerned"

'concerned' about what exactly ?
please advise:
1.
2.
3. etc..

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by Ghlpc February 03, 09:06PM

Upwind Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> rahrahrah Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > macutd Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > this is a really difficult situation and I
> feel
> > > very cautious about writing anything. But it
> > seems
> > > very sad that an adult is seen as a pervert
> if
> > > they are standing near children playing.
> >
> > This. Perhaps he's enjoying watching the kids
> play
> > in an entirely innocent way. The assumption
> that
> > there must be some sort of perverted sexual
> motive
> > is just so sad.
>
> The OP didn't make any such assumption! It was all
> the numpties on here accusing her of calling the
> man a paedophile, when all she said was that she
> was a bit concerned.
> Some of you need to have a really hard look at
> yourselves with the way you become so outraged at
> an innocent comment that you don't appear to have
> read properly!

Agree.

This forum continues to go downhill.

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by Upwind February 03, 11:15PM

KidKruger Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "The OP didn't make any such assumption! It was
> all the numpties on here accusing her of calling
> the man a paedophile, when all she said was that
> she was a bit concerned"
>
> 'concerned' about what exactly ?
> please advise:
> 1.
> 2.
> 3. etc..
1.An
2.Adult
3.Alone
4.In
5.The
6.Playground
7.Which
8.She
9.Thought
10.Might
11.Be
12.Suspicious
Not sure why you specified the numbering system, but happy to oblige if it makes things easier to understand.

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playgroundattachment
Posted by malumbu February 04, 12:01AM

We walked home as kids, and got talking to a man in our street. He used to invite us in to look at the house he was building for himself.

One day we passed with my mother who thanked him for entertaining two 9 year olds

And the shocking thing is that all he was doing was telling us about the house he was building and nicely engaging with two curious kids.

Of course years later he wouldn't have dared talk to us at all. Things were no different to now in terms of the dangers, we were warned not to take sweets from strangers or get into stranger's cars but it is a shame that everyone gets excited without knowing the facts.

But if you see this gent do run

Attachments: rutger-haeur.jpg (36.4KB)  
messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by Upwind February 04, 01:09AM

On a more serious note, back in the summer, an eight year old boy was abducted from the Burgess Park tennis centre changing rooms, before being subjected to a sustained serious sexual assault. Maybe if someone had noticed the man going in there without a tennis racket, sports kit, or perhaps a child, this boy could have been spared a lifetime of trauma.

Fleothecat noticed something that concerned her and thought it would be helpful to notify members of this forum so they would be aware if the man was in the playground again. It was a shame then that the content of her post, was dissected, exaggerated, then mutated out of all recognition by a braying mob of EDF morons, all fighting to be the most morally outraged/wittiest poster, when a simple "Thanks for the heads up" would have sufficed. Some of the replies amounted to nothing more than ill-informed bullying. Shameful.

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by rahrahrah February 04, 10:11AM

Sometimes you just have an instinct that something isn't quite right. So I'm not judging the OP and my comment wasn't directly addressed to them. I just find the climate of suspicion generally, a bit sad.

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by JohnL February 04, 10:45AM

I was thinking about the warnings we used to get as youngsters over strangers - it was the 1970s yet they were concerned (I remember when I said I talked to a man on the beach and didn't understand why my parents worried about it).

It's just that the prevailing thoughts at the time were children should be allowed to wander freely wherever we wanted without saying where we were going except "out".

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by pk February 04, 11:25AM

JohnL Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> It's just that the prevailing thoughts at the time
> were children should be allowed to wander freely
> wherever we wanted without saying where we were
> going except "out".

maybe in hindsight that was a bit naďve?

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by savvygirl February 04, 11:49AM

How long was the OP in the area? Was she there long enough to conclude this man did not have a child of his own playing in the playground? What made her think he was a loner and up to no good?

This sort of thinking reminds me of my Mum who would quickly make a judgment on a potential boyfriend saying something like "his eyes are too close together"! The OP's reasoning and logic is as daft as my Mum's was!

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by JohnL February 04, 11:59AM

pk Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> JohnL Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> >
> > It's just that the prevailing thoughts at the
> time
> > were children should be allowed to wander
> freely
> > wherever we wanted without saying where we were
> > going except "out".
>
> maybe in hindsight that was a bit naďve?

It wasn't just people either - My sister ended up having a really nasty accident on a rope swing in what I can only describe as a sink hole nobody knew about. We all got a safety lecture off the police at the age of 10.

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by KidKruger February 04, 05:49PM

Upwind:
“ KidKruger Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "The OP didn't make any such assumption! It was
> all the numpties on here accusing her of calling
> the man a paedophile, when all she said was that
> she was a bit concerned"
>
> 'concerned' about what exactly ?
> please advise:
> 1.
> 2.
> 3. etc..
1.An
2.Adult
3.Alone
4.In
5.The
6.Playground
7.Which
8.She
9.Thought
10.Might
11.Be
12.Suspicious
Not sure why you specified the numbering system, but happy to oblige if it makes things easier to understand.

Suspicious of what ?
Suspected of what ?

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by EDguy89 February 04, 07:52PM

I get that it's a public area and people have the right to be where they want to be......but if you're a 20 something man without a kid, WHY would you want to be in the playground? Furthermore, if you're only interested in watching the kids have fun and play, there is a bench directly outside the gated playground area. It attracts suspicion. Regardless of whether you're innocently there or not. You're inviting this sort of attention.

As a very recently former 20 something childless guy...what reason do I have to be there? It solely being a public park is pretty weak at best.

On the other hand. The original poster doesn't give enough for me to be convinced that this person may not have had a child somewhere in the playground. My biggest fear as a father is the inevitable day when someone assumes I'm not the parent of my child because of the way I look.

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by sarah-marie February 04, 09:10PM

It's good you went with your gut feeling and posted it on here out of concern for others and wanting to alert people just incase this is something. I have no children but if I did I would definitely appreciate knowing this. Well I appreciate it even though I don't have kids for others and my wellbeing just incase!!

it's always good to go with our gut feeling!!

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by Upwind February 04, 11:19PM

savvygirl Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> How long was the OP in the area? Was she there
> long enough to conclude this man did not have a
> child of his own playing in the playground? What
> made her think he was a loner and up to no good?
>
>
> This sort of thinking reminds me of my Mum who
> would quickly make a judgment on a potential
> boyfriend saying something like "his eyes are too
> close together"! The OP's reasoning and logic is
> as daft as my Mum's was!

Hello Savvygirl.
Either you are one of the many who has not read the OP properly or you seriously ought to consider changing your user name!

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by Upwind February 04, 11:36PM

KidKruger Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Upwind:
> “ KidKruger Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > "The OP didn't make any such assumption! It was
>
> > all the numpties on here accusing her of calling
>
> > the man a paedophile, when all she said was that
>
> > she was a bit concerned"
> >
> > 'concerned' about what exactly ?
> > please advise:
> > 1.
> > 2.
> > 3. etc..
> 1.An
> 2.Adult
> 3.Alone
> 4.In
> 5.The
> 6.Playground
> 7.Which
> 8.She
> 9.Thought
> 10.Might
> 11.Be
> 12.Suspicious
> Not sure why you specified the numbering system,
> but happy to oblige if it makes things easier to
> understand.
> ”
> Suspicious of what ?
> Suspected of what ?

No one said "suspected" until you did just there!

As for "suspicious of what?" I think you may need to dig out your old English grammar text books and try to rephrase that..
I have pasted an excerpt from the Cambridge English Dictionary below with a definition and examples of the adjective suspicious. Hope it helps.

Making you feel that something illegal is happening or that something is wrong:

Her behaviour was very suspicious.
The fire at the bank is being treated as suspicious.
It's a little suspicious that no one knows where he was at the time of the murder.
There were some suspicious characters hanging around outside.
There's a suspicious-looking van parked at the end of the street.

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by JohnL February 05, 09:49AM

However usually things we think are suspicious are just happenstance or coincidence.

Now if the guy is seen a few times there - we can definitely say people will keep an eye out now.

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by savvygirl February 05, 10:43AM

Upwind, are you someone who likes a scrap? You're a bit provocative and a bit rude! You said:

Hello Savvygirl.
Either you are one of the many who has not read the OP properly or you seriously ought to consider changing your user name!

You also referred to people on here as "numpties". I'm not sure in future that I could take any opinion you may have seriously.

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by fishbiscuits February 05, 12:34PM

There's a big difference between walking in a park, and entering a children's playground (which are almost always gated off). I am struggling to think of a legitimate reason to go in without kids. Perhaps he's got mental issues, or perhaps he's just incredibly naive, but nevertheless he shouldn't really be in there. It is undeniably incongruous, and therefore at least slightly suspicious, and I would want to keep especially close watch over my child.

Would I raise it with the wider community? Probably not... but I don't see what harm has been done.

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by gromit3:16 February 08, 07:27PM

mabey there were no more seats in the park and he wanted to sit down.

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by Upwind February 09, 01:10AM

savvygirl Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Upwind, are you someone who likes a scrap? You're
> a bit provocative and a bit rude! You said:
>
> Hello Savvygirl.
> Either you are one of the many who has not read
> the OP properly or you seriously ought to consider
> changing your user name!
>
> You also referred to people on here as "numpties".
> I'm not sure in future that I could take any
> opinion you may have seriously.

Well the OP did say that she was in the playground for long enough to realise the man was there without children, yet you asked exactly that question of her! And you called 'her' daft!!
So, did you read the original post properly or...…….?
Also quite happy to have a scrap with a bunch of numpties bullying someone who was just sharing a bit of information for the benefit of other members on this forum.

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by Upwind February 09, 01:11AM

gromit3:16 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> mabey there were no more seats in the park and he
> wanted to sit down.

If I believed in a god, I would ask them to give me strength!

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by EDguy89 February 09, 09:52AM

gromit3:16 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> mabey there were no more seats in the park and he
> wanted to sit down.


....Stretch armstrong over here.

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by gromit3:16 February 09, 05:08PM

Who cares where he sat, I doubt if he even looked at this womans kid and so what if he did.

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by yeknomyeknom February 14, 03:22PM

If this man was at the park to innocently enjoy the pleasures of watching my kids frolic and laugh in the sun.....I don’t give a crap. Don’t look at my kids. They aren’t there for your innocent pleasure or entertainment. Walk on by, listening to their laughter, chuckle to yourself, feel uplifted and keep on walking please.

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by KidKruger February 14, 03:40PM

Don’t look at my kids.
Jeezus.

“Everyone’s a paedo, right ?”
Paedo is mainly a family game tho - worth remembering.

messageRe: Man alone in Dulwich park playground
Posted by yeknomyeknom February 14, 05:10PM

You seem to think it’s normal to stand around looking at other people’s kids.

You fling out the word paedo casually and mostly when other people aren’t using it. It’s you that makes the paedo link, not me. Again, like the original poster, I didn’t mention “paedos” as you so delightfully put it.

If you want to talk about paedophilia, which it seems like you do, then....
“paedo is mainly a family game tho?” It’s far from a game. Families don’t tend to do it. Individuals within families do. Individuals who are mostly men (I said mostly) and who show an interest in delighting in the pleasures of watching young kids.



KidKruger Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Don’t look at my kids.
> Jeezus.
>
> “Everyone’s a paedo, right ?”
> Paedo is mainly a family game tho - worth
> remembering.

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