Do you ask for seat on train/bus?

[supergolden88]

This morning got on 8.48 train at Peckham Rye. Train was not choc full and yet EVERYONE sitting ignored my massive 7 month bump. Only an older woman (who had an injured hand no less) gave me her seat. When I asked loudly "are you sure YOU can stand up" she insisted. She was then given a seat a couple of minutes later. Througout this exchange the young and perfectly capable people sitting in the priority seats ignored me and the whole exchange.

What should I do next time - push my bump in their face and demand a seat? The whole thing saddens me.

[Vik]

I know how infuriating it is but I guess it depends on your personality, I am currently 8 months pg with my 4th child and would never dream of asking for a seat, occasionally I get offered one for which I am extremely grateful but would never 'expect' anyone to give up their seat for me.

I would however offer my seat to anyone who looked like they needed it more than me.

[supergolden88]

I would not expect or ask a seat if I did not actually really need one. I just expect a little common courtesy - I always offer (when not hugely pregnant) if someone looks like they need it (be it someone old, carrying kids, injured, disabled, too young etc)

I find people who in a crowded train insist on putting their bags on seats and then ask all put out if you politely ask to sit down equally maddening

[Devonlass15]

It used to really annoy me when I was heavily pregnant! I remember one time the bus driver was driving like an idiot on the 484 and I was falling all over the place when he went round the corners and everyone just ignored me, it's a horrible feeling.

You do feel quite vulnerable at that stage of pregnancy, and having people pushing past you and ramming their heavy bags into you is not nice!

I know I sound like my Grandma, but where are peoples manners!

[Ruth_Baldock]

I never used to, but then when I was 33w pregnant, I was standing on a packed 12 all the way from Oxford Circus and the driver braked suddenly and I fell arse over tip, straight on my bump with a thud. I started to bleed and then the baby stopped moving.Cue me crying hysterically, and trip to the MAU later, I was fine, the bleeding subsided and I was monitored loads. Baby decided to go to sleep, the cad. However, from then on, I made a point of asking for a seat if someone was sitting in the priority section. My biggest pet peeve was when someone would sit there, and then put their bag in the seat next to them. Grrr!

Remember though, one of the reasons pregnant ladies have priority for seats is in case of an emergency brake situation like mine, you are unfortunately more at risk.

[sanity girl]

I would definitely ask for a seat if nobody gave theirs up for me - but luckily I have always experienced people leaping up immediately and offering me a place - my bump is so enormous you really can't ignore it!

[trinity]

By my 4th pregnancy I became quite assertive about asking for a seat. I was polite, so always said please but very firm. Most people will give up their seat when asked. The one young man who didn't when asked was booed by the rest of the train carriage and lots of people jumped up to offer theirs.

I am now quite militant about getting seat for a pregnant lady on public transport. If I'm standing I will ask other people to stand and give up their seat. The key is I think, pick one person, make eye contact and smile and then request the seat for the pregnant lady. It has worked every time.

[supergolden88]

I think I wont hesitate to ask next time rather than get worked up about it

[sophiesofa]

You should get one of those baby on board TFL badges. People often zone out on the bus and tube and don't notice a preganant woman or someone less able to stand. I certainly have no problem giving up my seat but I'm always reading a book so often never notice someone in need of a seat. And of course there's the obvious problem of offending someone if they're just got a bit of a belly and aren't pregnant, which has happened to me a couple of times :(

[supergolden88]

Funnily enough I have one of the budges on my bag. But my belly could not be mistaken for anything but pregnancy I look like I have swallowed a massive ball

[marscapone]

I would ask when I felt like I needed to. I found the best way was not to look at anyone in particular but ask quite loudly in the priority area generally - that got over the problem of not being able to tell if someone was actually disabled/injured etc.

[Saffron]

Hold your belly, grimace, and shout wildly, 'I need to sit down, I'm having contractions!' Followed by, 'Oh, false alarm', when you get the seat. Hahahaha!!

Just kidding... but seriously...

I agreed with R_B... asking for a seat is a matter of safety for your baby, not just a personal convenience. Have clearly in your mind what you will say. Ie, Can anyone in a Priority Seat please let me sit down, because I am not able to stand safely on this bus/train/tube.

Like you, I used to travel on public transport when I was heavily pregnant. There was no mistaking my bump for anything other than a pregnancy. I was like a beachball with sticks attached! Still people occasionally failed to notice. I'm sure it's just that people are zoned out, and not intentionally rude.

x Saff x

[missd]

When I was towards the end of my pregnancy I would just ask the person sitting in the priority seats if I could please sit down (as long as they didn't look as though they needed the seat too). The signs are very clear - those seats are for those who are old, disabled, pregnant or carrying children.

[nymom]

I am 7 months pregnant and the other day got on a bus where some people were taking up two seats. The ONLY person to offer me a seat was a very elderly woman, with a cane. I declined but could have really used the seat as I am suffering with SPD and standing really hurts. The rest of the bus watched me stand and no one else offered.

[berryberry]

Ladies, you need to learn to speak up and if not for yourselves then do it for your babies. Bus drivers are nutters, you must sit down.

All through my pregnancy I asked people politely if I could sit down. My bump was small and people didn't notice I was pregnant. They were mostly really sorry and stood up. To be honest I think it made them feel good about themselves, having done a decent thing.

More so, My little point of naughty was that my c-section meant I carried on asking after I was pregnant because my c-section split.

Ask, it is a little nerve racking but you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by the kindness you get back.

[jollybaby]

I always used to ask for a seat on the tube when I was commuting heavily pregnant. The one time I didn't was on one of those really hot days at the end of June - the tube got stuck in a tunnel and I nearly fainted! Someone finally gave me a seat by which time I was in tears and half the carriage were fussing over me giving me water etc. Lesson learnt. What I found really surprising though, was that it was the 30 something women who were worse at giving up their seats. Old ladies and 'hoodies' were the best offerers.

[Ruth_Baldock]

Agree with berryberry, I only got a rude response once- normally people were lovely or embaressed that they didn't notice I was pregnant! Although how they missed it, I'll never know...I was bloody massive!

[buggie]

I've had no worries in getting onto buses and if the seats have been taken asking out loud for a seat - especially when I was still doing 12hr shifts... am scarily wobbly when standing on moving buses (especially when said bus is whizzing round the corner from Denmark hill onto Champion Hill!) so try and get a seat asap. Have always had someone willing to give a seat up (and been congratulated on speaking up too!).

There aren't martyr medals for those who stay stood up until it's unbearable and am sure most of the time we don't need much encouragement to be assertive!

[Countjc]

It took me being 8 months pregnant, on crutches and crying to get a seat on the bus down to Kings. I think we are far too polite!

[kerry.finlay]

I definitely ask - too many sudden braking moments, wobbly train tracks, elbows and bags to be safe standing!

[Narnia]

I think it's most people being just plain ignorant. What happened to manners?

Though last year I did witness an unfortunate incident on a bus where everyone started giving a young guy abuse when he didn't offer his seat to an elderly lady. It turned out the fellow was blind and had no idea what was going on. There were a few embarressed people on the bus.

[millsa]

Sorry to be quite firm here but this whole discussion has really irritated me - particularly comments like 'I would never dream of asking for a seat whn pregnant'. WHY WHY WHY NOT??????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can barely stand up, the bump is massive, you feel as if you can faint anytime in the heat (which has happened to me on the tube even when I was sitting), your legs are sore, maybe you suffer from varicose veins or are just knackered, you are hotter then ever, and YOU ARE HEAVILY PREGNANT - and you dont ask for a seat?/!!! WHY????

I agree that this is 'the English thing' - being polite. It is a very nice thing to be polite and I love this about the English, but I think you can be both polite and firm, particularly when dealing with so many rude people around. It annoys me when I see pregnant women getting on the train and just standing there, hoping that someone will stand up. Why don't you just make eye contact with one person (usually a young bloke), smile and say: Can I please seat down? IT ALWAYS WORKS.

[barrybrains]

Yes, just ask for a seat, otherwise no point getting your knickers in a twist over it. Definitely don't expect to ever be offered a seat on the number 12 bus unless you ask!

[Smiler]

I agree with barry, don't fume quietly about it or be a martyr, just ask!

[GinaG3]

I probably wouldn't want to ask for a seat but people in priority seats should be aware they are in such seats and always move for anyone pregnant, on crutches, clearly unable to stand or old. Its morals really, some people have manors and some don't I suppose. Certainly men are rather bad (sorry men), some realise straight away and give up the seat without a second look, others just ignore you and think 'so shes pregnant, so what, deal with it'

Put your hand on your back and play on the 'ohh my back', keep rubbing and hope for a seat I say.

Once I had to breastfeed standing up on a bus when no-one would give me a seat, truly unacceptable I believe. Two men in priority seats too mp3s in reading newspaper, they did see me though!!