Tell me about your routine?

[snowboarder]

So I'll admit it - I like routines. I want one. Never had one for baby 1 until he was 11m, and then suddenly life got better, he started sleeping etc. Baby 2 is v different and ironically I think could get into a great routine, but has to fit in with no.1 really (especially in terms of nursery pick up/drop off etc). My ideal though would be to get both of them having some sort of nap at the same time in the day (after lunch) - I am sitting down for the first time today with a cup of tea and am SO tired!

Baby 2 is 4.5m. He currently has a sleep around 8.30/9 for an hour or so, then up for 2 hrs, another snooze for around an hour at 11.30ish, up for another 2 hrs and another snooze at 2.30/3, and then he has to hold out until bedtime The sleeps can vary from 30mins to 1.5 hrs though.

I just had a look at gina ford - just for interest really - and her schedule for a 4-6m old involves only 2 sleeps, a 45min one at 9 and a 2.5 hr one at midday (I think). Does anyone actually manage this? My baby really can only stay awake for around 2 hrs for most of the day - and then gets too hungry to sleep for any more than an hour mostly!

So - what do you do? And if you have 2 how do/did you coordinate them?

(ps bedtime with 2 continues to be another issue but I'll bore you with that later...)

[Pickle]

As a GF follower I kept the late afternoon nap for a lot longer than that with baby #1, who (bless him) was still having 3 naps a day at 18 months! 2nd baby dropped down to one nap a day very early (10 months or so), she has never needed as much sleep as her brother.

My gap is slightly smaller than yours, but from day 1 my aim was to get them both sleeping after lunch, which worked and lasted for 2 blissful years.

To keep me sane I had to get out of the house (at the time we didn't have nursery of any sort), so I generally got organised enough to get out of the house by about 9/9:30am - at which point the baby would have a short nap in the pram and we'd do a bit of admin (shopping) or just go for a quick walk in the park enroute to whatever activity we were doing that morning.

I used to find playgroups that were suitable for letting my toddler play while I dealt with the baby. We generally left before the end to get home by about 11:30am, at which point I would feed the baby and put her down (pre solids) for a nap, while also giving the toddler his lunch. Same thing once she was on solids - I was always home for 12, to ensure she would eat before falling asleep.

In the afternoon the baby generally used to wake before toddler, so I would get her fed/changed then wake toddler up, so that we were then ready and able to leave the house by about 2:30pm.

My routine was the key to an easier life with what could have been a very difficult age gap (16.5 months). These days it's a distant memory!

The key (IMO) to routine is to decide what you want to do, and stick with it. Use your toddlers routine as a starting point and work the baby into it to suit you.

P x

[srisky]

My 5 month old has a nap every 1.5-2h and it makes planning any activities, e.g. swimming, v.tricky.

The longest possible stretch she will stay awake is 2.5h and only if I keep her entertained the entire time otherwise she will be super-ratty. She, therefore, sleeps at 8.30ish, 11ish, 3ish and 4.30ish and bed at 7pm. Her 11am nap can last between 1-2h. The timings of her naps depends on what time she wakes up in the morning but her bedtime (by her own choosing!) is always between 6.30-7.30pm.

I have no idea how to coordinate two little 'uns!

[Fuschia]

I think the longer lunchtime nap and no 3rd nap thing comes at more like 10m IME

I think as baby gets older he will go longer

On a day where I stay home in between creche and school runs baby does 45/90 mins at 830 or 9

And the same again starting 1130 - 1230

Been like that for a few months

[little h]

hi

Baby is too little yet and I'm too new at this handling 2 kids lark to know my routine yet.... Hoping to get more organised tho . I seem to remember a posting discussing various routines for baby and toddler a couple of months back as I remember Thinking I'd read it again once baby was here! I can't find it now though, think ruth started It....

[Ruth_Baldock]

Little h, I did start it and I've been looking for it, but mum/pregnancy brain is turning up no results :( will have a proper look when I am w/o toddler today (granny is taking him till tomorrow- bliss)

[jollybaby]

Baby jb didn't drop her late afternoon nap til much later than that too. Has never had a 2 1/2 hour post lunchtime nap either.

[mrs f]

I am also a gina (light) follower, baby f has always been a crap napper, right from the start & the gina routine has really helped us (although he still can't manage to sleep by himself past that magic 45min period).

So our day goes a bit like this, 7 ish up, 9ish nap 45 mins, 12 nap for 2hours usually in the buggy either at home being rocked (through light sleep phases whilst u try to eat!) or out, 4/4:20 nap for about 30 mins

He cut down the afternoon nap himself & is going longer & longer without it at the min so I can see how this is the first to go, but we still need it now certainally.

What time does the toddler nap? Can you try & co-ordinate this nap at the same time as this is the one the bubs will keep the longest? I found concentrating on getting the longer lunch nap really helped us, then the others can be short & sweet...

I can only imagine how great it will be once we crack baby f sleeping solo, so it would be even more amazing for you with two!

[BellendenBear]

My 3m old still needs 3 sleeps in the day. 1 hour-ish at 8.30-9am (usually in buggy if I am organised enough to leave house for nursery in time), longer nap at 11.30-12 which can be up to 2 1/2 hours if we are at home, then short nap of about 40 mins later in afternoon, again in buggy. I think my first baby was only having 2 sleeps by 5 months which were a long 2 hour morning nap at about 9-9.30 then a shorter one in the middle of the afternoon. No idea how the transition from 3 to 2 was made though. The morning nap gradually moved later and later until it became a post-lunch nap at about 14 months and the afternoon sleep was dropped (nursery made this happen).

When I have the 2 of them at home I try to give toddler her lunch as early as possible (11.45) so that there is some overlap of their naps. Doesn't always work of course. I'm just happy that my 2 1/2 year old still naps at all as lots of others her age seem not to.

[Moos]

Hi sb

I think you are right to continue with 3 naps if you can get bubs to do it. My experience of all the gina-fordesque babies I know is that Gina is a bit keen to drop naps early, and most hang onto them longer than she says.

Twosling is 8 months, but has v similar routine to what he had when he was 6 months, once solids established. Moosling is now 4 and doesn't nap. This was difficult when Twosling v. small as the then 3 1/2 year old didn't like being left on his own AT ALL, so hard to juggle both their needs. We only got past this when a) I did sleep training ("gradual retreat") with the little one so that he slowly learned how go to sleep on his own and the time to settle him got faster and b) Moosling got a few months older and was OK being left in front of the TV for twenty minutes during settling time so Twosling can have nice relaxed feed & cuddle before bed, and Moosling can have a bit of solo mummy time before bed too.

Twosling's nap times also had to be timed around nursery dropoff and pickup which is v. inflexible. I never had any success with the third nap, he's just not tired enough to drop off easily and with older child around it just didn't happen, so I allow first nap to be up to an hour and second as long as possible. Upshot is he sometimes has to go from 2pm to bed at 7 awake, which is tough for him.

6/6.30 Wake and big breastfeed

7.40/8 Breakfast for both kids (and cats. Oh, and me)

9 Nursery run if nursery day

9.30 1st nap - supposed to be 45 minutes but will leave him for up to an hour. Settles self after short story/cuddle/song routine. Sometimes wakes after 30 minutes and is grumpy

11.30 Twosling lunch. Would like to make this later but he's generally super-hungry by then so will have to wait to give both kids lunch together. This is his biggest meal.

12.30ish 2nd nap - supposed to be 1 1/2 hours. Settles self after short story/cuddle/song routine. Sometimes only 1 hour and v v grumpy all afternoon. On good day over 1 1/2 hours and happy all afternoom. Yay. Moosling lunch, followed by 'quiet time' listening to a CD/playing inside.

2.30 Twosling small bottle of formula. Doesn't really like it, has between 1 and 4oz, usually about 2oz

3pm Nursery run if nursery day

4.30 Twosling dinner.

5.30 Moosling dinner.

6pm Twosling has bottle of formula. Usually still full of dinner so has 1-2oz.

6.15 Both boys bath / teeth cleaning / getting into PJs etc. Then Moosling watches a movie while Twosling has breastfeed and is settled into bed by 7.

7.30 Moosling in bed.

10.30/11pm Big bottle of formula administered by Daddy

Around 3am/4am middle of the night feed

Hope that's helpful!

[largeginandtonic]

Hello Snowboarder - just popped on to the forum for a bit & saw your post! As you know, I'm no Gina fan and am firmly of the lentil-weaving persuasion, but I do remember that when babyginandtonic was 5 months, his big sister started reception year and I effectively made him drop down to two naps per day because it was the only way I could really manage with the two of them - I used to do a morning nap after dropping his sister at school so 9.15-10.15ish and then a big lunchtime nap from 1-3pm (had to sleep with him, use sling, buggy or have in my arms to keep him going this long!). Then he would be desperate for bed by around 6.30pm - 7pm and I used to take both kids into bed, and feed babyginandtonic to sleep in my arms whilst reading stories to his sister and then staying with her till she fell asleep. We did that routine for ages and it was the easiest I've ever had bedtimes - much easier than now - although it did involve trying to persuade babyginandtonic to keep going a bit longer than he really wanted to and his big sister to go to bed earlier than she wanted to!

Anyway, I know you're not looking for my kind of hippy love bedtime solutions (heaven knows I wouldn't recommend them!) but I'm just trying to say in a long-winded fashion that you might be able to go down to the 2 naps per day.

Good luck - I always think you are doing an amazing job with a highly spirited toddler as I'm sure everyone else on here who has met you would agree!

xxx

[crompo123]

if anyone likes, i no longer need my copy of Gina Fords 'Contented little baby with toddler' book-- i didnt get on well with it as my two are so difficult in terms of routine, but it does have some good tips/good for dipping into to kind of get an idea of what babies 'should' be doing re sleep.

free for pick up lyndhurst grove area.

[alieh]

Ah, I really need this. I am so struggling on this front. I have two varieties of "routine" for number 2 right now:

Days without toddler (3/week):

Up at 6 ish (grr)

Nap 1 - 8 am for either 45 mins or 1.5/2 hours (never know which)

Nap 2 - 2 hours later (45 mins or 1.5 hours...never know which)

Nap 3 - 2 hours later (sometimes 45 mins, usually 30)

All of these naps require resettling (shushing and patting) at least once or more to extend them

Days with toddler:

Up at 6ish

Maybe nap 1 at home before we go out (see above)

Rest of naps in a downward spiral throughout the day in the sling/buggy ranging from 5 mins (yep, 5 today) to 30 mins (not 29, not 31....30)

Interspersed with whinging and screaming because he is so knackered

Bedtime rushed through at some absurdly early hour like 6 pm because he is losing the plot

Ummmm, help???

I am going on holiday with family for 6 weeks next week and will hopefully have the time to dedicate to routine. I think I might replicate the Gina timings above. With son 1 I followed more of the Baby Whisperer approach which was to bring next nap forward if first nap was a bust, adjust throughout the day, etc. But this is just not working this time as I never know what's coming next and it is just so scatty. The Gina routine seems like much less sleep overall than I would have expected (on a good day he naps 4.5-5 hours) but it's certainly more than he gets on a day like today!

I think it is the early starts that are screwing me because with a 6 am start (today 5 am!), we would need to be back for his big lunchtime nap by 11 am but I really struggle to get back even by 12:00 or 12:30 from any toddler activities or even just the park. If only I could get him to wake up later, but I've been trying that with son 1 for 2.5 years and never managed it.

My goal is to avoid today's scenario where I am desperately trying to get him to have a short kip in the sling at 5 pm because he has barely slept all day and the toddler won't stop screaming and waking him up so I throw them both on the sofa, shout at them, and shut myself in the kitchen. :-$::o

Per the above, can anyone with two "spirited" children tell me when it gets a bit easier?? I was banking on number 2 (4.5 months) being one of those babies that just slots in with whatever's happening with Son 1 (2.5 years), but he's not slotting at the moment even remotely.

[nymom]

My son just turned 3 and daughter is almost 8 months. My son is still the worst sleeper both day and night and I was determined to do things differently this time. But every day is such a stress to work my daughters naps around sons schedule. She has been on two naps for awhile, but they always conflict with his nursery pickup/little kickers/other activities. I am finding the daytime sleep so stressful. During the half term week we did everything around my daughter and her sleep improved dramatically. So I feel I am doing her s disservice by disrupting her naps everyday for my son. But if I dont get him to his activities he is so bored! He is def a "spirited" child who still wakes AT LEAST 3 times per night and needs someone to be in the room to go to sleep. I dont have any advice, but have been feeling stressed about my daughters sleep for some time. I think she had the capacity to be a good sleeper and I am ruining it.

[snowboarder]

Alieh - OH NO!!

C wakes early but hopefully I notice and I grab him straight away and feed him lying down and stroke his face (which he LOVES) and he usually drops off - even for 15/20 mins or so until husband sets toddler free and he comes in and wakes him up.

Similarly our naps can range from 30-1.5 hrs. For no reason.

I can't get a late afternoon nap to work at all - he just won't sleep after about 3/4ish - so if nap 3 is rubbish then we have a v tired baby who because of my rubbish bed time 'routine' has a really late bedtime feed and settle.

Nursery etc all off for summer in 2 weeks so hopefully I'm going to try and get in a bit of a pattern. But it is SO hard fitting it round the older one - can't see us ever getting back for the baby to have a lunchtime nap (and not falling asleep in the buggy on the way home) and our afternoons are a write off atm - got out as 4.30pm today!!

[Fuschia]

Sb what I plan to do over hols is

Nap 830-930 or 9-10

Leave house

Have lunch out - picnic

Home for 130

Nap 1.30-3ish

(twins often flake out then too though I am trying to drop their nap)

baby bed at 6

This is the best compromise and let's us get out of the house

Baby won't nap really in buggy or car