concerned about a man following me on peckham rye

[sarah-marie]

hi there

This evening shortly after 7pm I was walking home down Peckham rye just past Barry Road heading towards Honor Oak not Peckham rye opposite Peckham rye park and a man past me and I could sense he was looking at me and he leant forward to me as he passed me and started to try to talk to me...I didn't make eye contact and I ignored him and carried on walking a few minutes later I was concerned incase he was following me.. I turned to look and he was...I felt worried as there wasn't anybody else at that moment in sight I started to make a call on my phone thinking that might deter him and I started to walk really fast..i looked back again and he had started to run.. I panicked and went to the nearest house with a light on... as I stood on the doorstep talking to the lady he did not go past and I saw him cross the road and go into the park. Please note he was not out for a run in the park ... it might sound like that as I said he started to run.. he was a white man not English had jeans on, shoulder length hair, slim build

I might have been panicked for absolutely no reason but my instincts told me I was not safe and im glad that I went to the house..

just wanted to put it on here to say to be extra careful ladies..

[Loz]

Report it to 101, sarah-marie. As you said, it might be nothing, but if the police spot a pattern, they'll look into it.

[sarah-marie]

yes I will thank you

[curlylocks]

Sounds scary, hope you're okay and the police were helpful.

[Sue]

Hope you're OK, Sarah-Marie, what a frightening experience.

[NewWave]

There was a post on the SE23 forum a few months ago of a young man,olive skinned harassing and following women in the Forest Hill area...please report.

If its the same guy he may have moved his patch due to people reporting him to 101 there.

http://www.se23.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=10715

this is the thread

[sarah-marie]

thank you NewWave I read the post on se23 and its a bit scary as yes it actually fits very well the description of him and his way of being... I had not yet rung 101 but I am going to do that now ... I had convinced myself I might have been overreacting.

[Rolo Tomasi]

sarah-marie Wrote:

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> thank you NewWave I read the post on se23 and its

> a bit scary as yes it actually fits very well the

> description of him and his way of being... I had

> not yet rung 101 but I am going to do that now ...

> I had convinced myself I might have been

> overreacting.

Except you said he was white and the other guy on Se23 was Sri Lankan.

No mention of him being olive skinned either or have I missed something?

[Penguin68]

It is always sensible to report something you think is suspicious or which worries you, and to act sensibly, as you did, calling at a lit house, but, thankfully, (perfectly real) suspicions and worries are much more frequent than actual attacks. Continue to be vigilant and sensible, but don't let this incident build up fear or anxiety. In general you are still safe walking around London. Of course there are dangers, and dangerous situations, but for every bad incident you hear or read about there are a vast number of occasions when nothing bad has happened in what might be considered an identical context.

[LadyNorwood]

Rolo Tomasi Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> sarah-marie Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > thank you NewWave I read the post on se23 and

> its

> > a bit scary as yes it actually fits very well

> the

> > description of him and his way of being... I

> had

> > not yet rung 101 but I am going to do that now

> ...

> > I had convinced myself I might have been

> > overreacting.

>

> Except you said he was white and the other guy on

> Se23 was Sri Lankan.

>

> No mention of him being olive skinned either or

> have I missed something?

The OP said white not English - olive-skinned could be Italian, Spanish, a multitude of nationalities, and still be 'white'.... I doubt she thought to ask him what his nationality was....

[grace3]

was he walking too slow?

[NewWave]

I'm so shocked at how some posters chose this thread to nit pick at the OP and make flippant comments.

I'm grateful that the OP alerted us to this individual.

I do hope she rings 101 and hasn't been put off by others comments.

Imagine if she didn't report it, and next time someone gets raped or murdered?

Either way characters such as this man should be brought to the attention of the police, and female readers of this forum.

[uncleglen]

Something similar happened to my daughter and her friend and the police said that if weirdos get away with minor things they go on to do worse so stuff should be reported.

[Penguin68]

Can I just point out that the vast majority of people who walk behind other people are not incipient attackers and rapists, they are you and me. If you are walking behind someone walking slower than you, you will tend to start catching them up. If you quicken your pace, to pass them quickly and not appear to be dogging their steps, they can also quicken their pace, in (in this case misplaced) fear of you - if you alter your pace then you are likely to make them more worried, if your cross over to the other side of the road and overtake them, ditto.

Of course report people who make you frightened, but understand that in many cases that fear is being exacerbated by threads such as this and comments such as ' if weirdos get away with minor things they go on to do worse so stuff should be reported'. Someone walking behind you at a different pace than yours, or overtaking you, is not, automatically, a weirdo. Even people who pass comments to you on the street may not be weirdos, they may be saying 'good evening', or 'excuse me' as they pass - they may even have mental health problems - but those with mental health problems are far more likely to harm themselves than others (statistically).

Of course be wary, of course be alert, but try not to live in fear.

[mickeymonkey]

Sarah-Marie this sounds really anxiety provoking. Thank you for raising awareness.

I would like to suggest that most people are able to make a decent assessment of whether someone is behaving in an unusual manner. Most of us have many years experience of walking around in public and so are familiar with people walking at a different pace or overtaking. As people who walk around the streets regularly I would guess that we have a fair sense of usual pavement etiquette but, of course, we are also fallible.

As someone who has the experience of being followed some time ago I did question my judgement but instinctually knew this was the case and was later confirmed correct.

It does no harm to trust your instinct and report behaviour that makes you feel alarmed. It is also the case that if intervention is offered at an early stage (whether it be mental health or criminal) it can help prevent behaviour from escalating.

[newboots]

"Can I just point out that the vast majority of people who walk behind other people are not incipient attackers and rapists, they are you and me."

Well, yes, if you feel it necessary to point out the obvious.

[Loz]

NewWave Wrote:

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> Either way characters such as this man should be brought to the attention of the police, and female

> readers of this forum.

While the OP did exactly the right thing, lest not get the torches and pitchforks out just yet. We've not actually established that the person in question was actually doing anything amiss.

[JohnL]

uncleglen Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Something similar happened to my daughter and her

> friend and the police said that if weirdos get

> away with minor things they go on to do worse so

> stuff should be reported.

Get rid of the whistler and a lot of the others would disappear too.

I've been watching how things happen out there.

[jimbo1964]

I always feel very self conscious if I'm walking being a woman in situations like this. My usual tactic is to cross the road and hurry past as fast as possible. Some men might not be aware that they seem threatening. The OP did the right thing. Better to be safe than sorry.

[Loz]

jimbo1964 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Some men might not be aware that they seem threatening.

No offence, but providing I am just walking along normally minding my own business, I don't frankly care if someone finds me threatening just because I am male. Their problem not mine. If someone said they felt threatened because there was a black person walking on the same side of the street as them, would your judgement would be rather different? Would you expect said black person to cross the road to allay such fears?

[Jeremy]

I guess it depends whether you care about allaying somebody's fears or not (even if you personally think those fears are unfounded).

[EDLove]

jimbo1964 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I always feel very self conscious if I'm walking

> being a woman in situations like this. My usual

> tactic is to cross the road and hurry past as fast

> as possible. Some men might not be aware that they

> seem threatening. The OP did the right thing.

> Better to be safe than sorry.

This is a good point.

It would be great if more people were aware of how (presumably, unintentionally) intimidating they can be when walking close behind another person (normally a woman), especially at night. A considerate person would give a wider berth in these situations.

[????]

I always cross over the road too

[sedm]

Er... it's clear that this wasn't just a case of someone walking behind the OP up the street... he overtook her, then continued to follow her (which indicates he slowed down or waited for her) and when she started to walk quickly away he began to run to catch up...

[Blah Blah]

I read it as worse than that sedm, that the guy was coming towards her, walked past, and then turned round to follow her. I think Sarah was extremely sensible in seeking out the nearest safest option, by knocking on a door.