David Peckham

Frothy coffee? Not really my bag. A double espresso and a Marlboro Red? It's the breakfast of champions. The only dark drink with a creamy head which should ever be drunk by a man of my age is Guinness. I've also become lactose intolerant recently, meaning I get very impatient around milk. You make a fair point, but those legal channels are available for them to recover their repair, and legal, costs and, as I said: "It's up to them if they [Southwark] want to do that, of course." There's three or four grands worth of Cat N write-off, wrapped round a post there (more, if it's broken down for parts) causing problems. If they can't be arsed sorting that, I'm not holding my breath. Even Southwark couldn't screw their numbers up enough to make shifting the post back through circa 15 degrees more than a couple of grand, so there's a drink in it for everyone. It's a bit 'leany' just now, yeah, but I haven't noticed anyone having to limbo under it to get to Superdrugs. Or, they could make a feature of it. Pisa has made a fortune out of not sorting the underpinnings of their tower. Let's say it's an installation by someone called, I don't know, Bangsy, and it's a physical reminder that SE22 cannot deny its proximity to Peckham, Camberwell & Brixton. It's about the only thing that would get me back into The Bishop since the many dark afternoons of the soul I spent with Clarence*, the world's most depressed Weimaraner. *RIP big fella. You were always a great listener. Come on Spartacus, don't be shy. You know exactly where the Green Cross Code Man was in 1973: less than a hundred yards away, on North Cross Road. https://youtu.be/C-XwVVMiCO4?si=rt8kQllev0t1Lgdi For some years, I found it quite difficult to go into The Forrester's after many long afternoons of the soul with Dave Prowse* (The Green Cross Code Man). *RIP big fella. You were always a great listener.

I wouldn't like to speculate, Sue. Not my thing. Teddy Boy is your man on the ground for that sort of first-hand detail. It's six points for driving without insurance and six points for using a phone, so that's an automatic ban of at least six months. They're going to be practically uninsurable for a considerable period after that. So, nobody's hurt, a clearly crap driver is off the road for some time and the good burghers of SE22 get a lovely, shiny new post - probably paid for by the driver. Every cloud, and that. If only Franklins wasn't changing hands, Lordship Lane would be almost perfect.

An uninsured driver is still liable for any damage they've caused. The council can pursue them through the courts, or apply to the MIB (Motor Insurance Bureau) for compensation through their scheme for uninsured drivers. It's up to them if they want to do that, of course.

It didn't say that. The original title was pretty much 'Car crashes into pedestrian crossing on Lordship Lane'. You incorrectly inferred that a car had crashed into a pedestrian, crossing on Lordship Lane. And then went off on one. My thoughts, and those of my family, are with the lamppost.

I wonder whether his political epiphany and renaissance will stretch to him using his real name - James Ashworth-McLintock - rather than the more proletarian 'McAsh'. To my mind, the only people who should have self-bestowed mononyms are very talented Brazilian footballers - Pele, Kaka, Ronaldinho - very talented female pop icons - Madonna, Shakira, Sonia - or Russian revolutionaries - Lenin, Stalin, Trotsky. Sonia's greatest hits compilation, 'Greatest Hits', is out now on vinyl & CD through PWL Recordings.

That'll be a strobe gun, and yes, it is used for ignition timing. Not so useful with modern cars because timing is done via the ECU, but you could lock yourself in your darkened garage, put on some late 80s Detroit techno - such as Derrick May's 'Strings of Life - and use the strobe light to have yourself a little rave, a bit like the original warehouse parties. The above websites aren't great for checking the service history of older cars looked after by independent garages - there's no legal requirement to have your car serviced, nor have it recorded somewhere, unlike an MOT.

All's well that ends well, then. I'm glad you got it sorted. As the former owner of quite a few Italian cars, they can be a bit challenging, can't they? Just for my own curiosity, it must have been one of the first RHDs off the line, mustn't it? And is it the F1 or H gate 'box? Whilst you're waiting for the AA, it's worth noting that Westminster Carpets aren't just for carpets, they also carry a full range of flooring solutions at very competitive prices.

Well, that was my initial thought too, but having re-read the thread, it seems that the car was left outside Westminster Carpets. Maybe even middle-aged Lotharios can't ignore the low, low prices in their 'Remnants, Offcuts & Roll-End Sale'. Do you know anyone with a second generation Fiat Punto (1999-2010)? Because 5 to 1, the key will fit. I'm out of the country, watching the cricket, just now but if you can get it down to the Catford/Sydenham borders in the next couple of hours, I've got a mate who can 'look after' it. It'll be at Tilbury docks by 6 o'clock. Have you ever driven a car with an F1 style, flappy paddle gearbox before?

Well, quite. And if someone doesn't claim it soon, it could well be on its way again. Ferrari, like ALFA and Maserati, was owned by FIAT at the time this one was made, and the less important bits - such as the locks - came straight out of the FIAT parts bin. It's really quite a nickable car. I'm actually a bit disappointed it's turned out to be stolen. I quite fancied the idea that an aging Italian playboy had his passions so inflamed by something he saw on Lordship Lane that he simply abandoned his Ferrari. Have Bell's Kitchens got a sale on at the moment?

Having just checked again, it only got its new ticket (MOT) on Thursday, then turned up on Lordship Lane on Friday, reported as stolen On top of a happy keeper, I suspect there'll be a very relieved owner of an MOT centre somewhere, now that it's reappeared.

It's a 360 Spider, so worth over £60k, more if it has the H gate gearbox, and it's one of the first manufactured. It's an appreciating classic, and only MOT'd last week. Does anyone know if there is any legal basis to the 'Finders Keepers' rule?

How posh has it got round you? Did all the motors have all four corners striped and wanted new boots all round? Or, are all the cars high performance models requiring top of the range 'Continental' brand replacements? Ten f*cking grand? Even if you put the two above worst-case scenarios together, add in a bit of fat, and a drink or two for whoever is sorting it, you're struggling to get to £5k. Is this 'Civil Service' maths? Or quango-tastic levels of fiscal fuckwittery? Get yourself down to 'Dulwich Tyres', by the station, or 'Quick Tyres' by Cottage Green in Camberwell. Or give me seven large. I'll sort it. Drop me an extra five, I might even stop slashing them in the first place.

You clearly like middle-eastern food, so Zaytoon in Peckham is worth a try. It's Lebanese, so grilled meats, fresh fish and really interesting salads. I'd recommend their chickpea and lentil soup as well - I've tried to replicate it myself, it's that good. It's on a couple of levels, but only two or three shallow steps up to the dining area at the back, and once you're up there, you're on the same level as the bathrooms. It's BYO, and no corkage, but do sort yourselves out on your Tesco Club Card for anything half- right before you get down there - the offies opposite have got wise to it now and are charging accordingly. I've eaten there many times, the food is always excellent, the portions are huge (I've never finished). very reasonable and it's got a really laid-back atmosphere. I haven't had to book, but I've seen larger parties in there who maybe did. I really can't see they'd have a issue with it - the staff are very accommodating. I just checked TripAdvisor (5 stars) and one review specifically mentions how much their kids enjoyed it. It's at 94 Rye Lane, open from 11 til 3ish (at the weekends) and is accessible via the 12, 37, 63, 363 and P13 routes.

Maybe not, but I use the same excuse for leftover Indian food. It's quite difficult to similarly rationalise last night's pizza, though.

I always used to feel a bit guilty about having Chinese food for breakfast, until I realised that 1.4 billion people in China were probably doing the same thing.