David Peckham

Very economical. Are you available for events? I've got a gathering of 5000 coming up soon. What could you knock up with two little fishes and five loaves of bread? Cod in breadcrumbs? Fish finger sandwiches? Spanish-style croquetas de bacalao with a Romesco sauce? It's BYOB for beer, so there's no need to worry about that and I've managed to do an unbelievable deal on water and wine. Drop me a DM on here or ask for Dave or Jesus (pronounced 'Hay-Zooze') in The Herne, left hand side of the bar.

Would you like a copy of my spreadsheet? It's hours of fun.

Ocado stopped sourcing from Waitrose a few years ago. They now source from M&S and general brands. Waitrose have their own delivery service now. I don't know how well served SE22 is by it. Ocado offers for new customers are, or certainly were, really good, particularly in the run up to Christmas. I think I got 20%/15%/10% up to a maximum of £100 spend off my first three deliveries with no delivery charge or commitment to sign up for further deliveries. There wasn't a time limit, IIRC, so it was a great way of restocking heavy store cupboard basics and stuff for the freezer.

I used to buy a brand of olive oil called 'Il Casolare'. It was unfiltered, often on offer in Sainsbury's and came in a really nice bottle with a stopper. When it was finished, I'd soak the label off, fill it with Morrison's own-brand vermouth and use it for cooking as it lasts longer than keeping wine open. One night there was very little else left to drink, so we got into it - I told people it was a difficult to find artisanal brand I'd brought back from Barcelona and that it should be pronounced 'Vermut'. People loved it. I gave away a couple of bottles as Christmas presents the next year.

They definitely sound less child-like.

They have a convenience chain branded 'Little Waitrose', which puts me off them a bit. I m not sure why. Waitrose is a much smaller chain than any of the others, including M&S, which may explain why they're not here.

Most recent polls for the next election suggest it will be a hung parliament, with Reform the largest party by a fair margin. But that is predicated on Reform finding around 300 candidates who are actually electable. Given the number of Reform council candidates who have had to drop out prior to or after the local elections, does that seem likely? Social media is pretty unforgiving when it comes to finding skeletons in cupboards; a retweet or a like seems enough to scupper political ambitions. A few may defect from other parties, but do you think the electorate would really vote for so many brand new MPs from a newish party? I'm not so sure.

To be fair, anything which waylays someone on their way to Palma Nova or Lloret de Mar from spending even more pre-flight time in Spoon's surely has some merit? I think losing a few quid on a litre of Bacardi and 200 Benson & Hedges Gold seems a reasonable price for society to pay. ,

Well, quite. Do you know where your lad's going tonight?

If anyone is thinking of traveling a bit more and would like to supplement their trip by picking up a few family heirlooms from various ailing maiden aunts of mine, please drop me a private message. I'm particularly interested in anyone who is considering Colombia & Bolivia, The Golden Triangle region of South East Asia, Andalusia & North Africa or Rotterdam. And Liverpool.

Pretty much, Sue, yeah. It's the perennial, knotty problem of imposing a tax and balancing that with the cost of collecting it. The famous one was the dog licence - I think it was 37 1/2 pence when it was abolished, but the revenue didn't' come close to covering the administration costs. As much I'd love to have a Stasi patrolling the South Bank, looking for mullet haircuts, unshaven armpits, overly expressive hand movements and red Kicker shoes, I'm afraid your modern Continental is almost indistinguishable from your modern Londoner. That's Schengen for you. So you couldn't justify it from an ROI point of view, really. This scheme seems a pretty good idea, overall. It's not perfect, but it's cheap to implement and takes some tax burden off Southwark residents. 'The Man' has got wise to this. It's got bad juju now. If you're looking to rinse medium to large amounts of small denomination notes, there are far better ways. Please drop me a direct message if you'd like to discuss this matter further. Kind Regards Dave

I'd support fining any tourist wearing a 'I ❤️ London' t-shirt, 'University of Oxford' sweatshirt or Union Jack bobble hat.

It doesn't work like that. There won't be differential pricing for tourists and residents at any attractions, no checkpoints nor a requirement to carry one's papers with one at all times. A levy is put on hotels, maybe on Air B&Bs, on a bed per night basis. That cash goes to Southwark. It's pretty easy to administer.

I wouldn't feel too bad about that. It's one of the few degree areas that you can do a BA or a BSc in, so it's a fairly wide-ranging and complex subject. Certainly Truss, Kwasi and Reeves seem to struggle with it.

It's also worth noting that heat, direct sunshine and dehydration all exacerbate the effects of alcohol on the human body. So get yourself out there and get truly spangled at a fraction of the cost.