David Peckham

Very economical. Are you available for events? I've got a gathering of 5000 coming up soon. What could you knock up with two little fishes and five loaves of bread? Cod in breadcrumbs? Fish finger sandwiches? Spanish-style croquetas de bacalao with a Romesco sauce? It's BYOB for beer, so there's no need to worry about that and I've managed to do an unbelievable deal on water and wine. Drop me a DM on here or ask for Dave or Jesus (pronounced 'Hay-Zooze') in The Herne, left hand side of the bar.

Would you like a copy of my spreadsheet? It's hours of fun.

Ocado stopped sourcing from Waitrose a few years ago. They now source from M&S and general brands. Waitrose have their own delivery service now. I don't know how well served SE22 is by it. Ocado offers for new customers are, or certainly were, really good, particularly in the run up to Christmas. I think I got 20%/15%/10% up to a maximum of £100 spend off my first three deliveries with no delivery charge or commitment to sign up for further deliveries. There wasn't a time limit, IIRC, so it was a great way of restocking heavy store cupboard basics and stuff for the freezer.

I used to buy a brand of olive oil called 'Il Casolare'. It was unfiltered, often on offer in Sainsbury's and came in a really nice bottle with a stopper. When it was finished, I'd soak the label off, fill it with Morrison's own-brand vermouth and use it for cooking as it lasts longer than keeping wine open. One night there was very little else left to drink, so we got into it - I told people it was a difficult to find artisanal brand I'd brought back from Barcelona and that it should be pronounced 'Vermut'. People loved it. I gave away a couple of bottles as Christmas presents the next year.

They definitely sound less child-like.

They have a convenience chain branded 'Little Waitrose', which puts me off them a bit. I m not sure why. Waitrose is a much smaller chain than any of the others, including M&S, which may explain why they're not here.

Most recent polls for the next election suggest it will be a hung parliament, with Reform the largest party by a fair margin. But that is predicated on Reform finding around 300 candidates who are actually electable. Given the number of Reform council candidates who have had to drop out prior to or after the local elections, does that seem likely? Social media is pretty unforgiving when it comes to finding skeletons in cupboards; a retweet or a like seems enough to scupper political ambitions. A few may defect from other parties, but do you think the electorate would really vote for so many brand new MPs from a newish party? I'm not so sure.

To be fair, anything which waylays someone on their way to Palma Nova or Lloret de Mar from spending even more pre-flight time in Spoon's surely has some merit? I think losing a few quid on a litre of Bacardi and 200 Benson & Hedges Gold seems a reasonable price for society to pay. ,

Well, quite. Do you know where your lad's going tonight?

If anyone is thinking of traveling a bit more and would like to supplement their trip by picking up a few family heirlooms from various ailing maiden aunts of mine, please drop me a private message. I'm particularly interested in anyone who is considering Colombia & Bolivia, The Golden Triangle region of South East Asia, Andalusia & North Africa or Rotterdam. And Liverpool.

Pretty much, Sue, yeah. It's the perennial, knotty problem of imposing a tax and balancing that with the cost of collecting it. The famous one was the dog licence - I think it was 37 1/2 pence when it was abolished, but the revenue didn't' come close to covering the administration costs. As much I'd love to have a Stasi patrolling the South Bank, looking for mullet haircuts, unshaven armpits, overly expressive hand movements and red Kicker shoes, I'm afraid your modern Continental is almost indistinguishable from your modern Londoner. That's Schengen for you. So you couldn't justify it from an ROI point of view, really. This scheme seems a pretty good idea, overall. It's not perfect, but it's cheap to implement and takes some tax burden off Southwark residents. 'The Man' has got wise to this. It's got bad juju now. If you're looking to rinse medium to large amounts of small denomination notes, there are far better ways. Please drop me a direct message if you'd like to discuss this matter further. Kind Regards Dave

I'd support fining any tourist wearing a 'I ❤️ London' t-shirt, 'University of Oxford' sweatshirt or Union Jack bobble hat.

It doesn't work like that. There won't be differential pricing for tourists and residents at any attractions, no checkpoints nor a requirement to carry one's papers with one at all times. A levy is put on hotels, maybe on Air B&Bs, on a bed per night basis. That cash goes to Southwark. It's pretty easy to administer.

I wouldn't feel too bad about that. It's one of the few degree areas that you can do a BA or a BSc in, so it's a fairly wide-ranging and complex subject. Certainly Truss, Kwasi and Reeves seem to struggle with it.

It's also worth noting that heat, direct sunshine and dehydration all exacerbate the effects of alcohol on the human body. So get yourself out there and get truly spangled at a fraction of the cost.

A bit like Levi Bellfield. It's not a good look.

In general, or just the coiffure?

Sean at the bottom of Barry Road is great. Free Lidl lager, BBC6 and a top haircut. He used to be a ladies' hairdresser, so he can use the scissors as well as the clippers. The only barber in the area, since Ken (RIP) closed, that didn't try to make me look like a Lithuanian doorman.

There's a couple on Rye Lane that do two for one etc. I can't remember their names - they're wilfully obscure - but if you walk down and keep your eye out for places that look like someone's put your Nan's furniture in a tropical rainforest clearing, that's the fellas. One's opposite The Nag's, the other opposite John the Unicorn.

I've only just noticed the (above) artist's rendering of the square. It's not very realistic, is it? There appears to be a rather Hitchcockian figure at the far left (maybe the artist themself) along with: The guitarist from Eighties Norwegian pop sensations 'Aha' on a bike. I believe his name is Pal. Mother Theresa heading towards Calton, with her Zimmer frame, on her way to pick up a cheese & ham roll and a rum Baba from Au Ciel. Richard Rowntree in his seminal role as 'Shaft'. Can you dig it? Soon to be national treasure Keeley Hawes with a half scale Liam Gallagher doll. Margot Robbie. A Dutch child abductor. Gretl from 'The Sound of Music'. One of the Terracotta Army. Clare Huxtable from 'The Cosby Show'. A very clearly lost Lake District fell walker. An awful lot of cyclists. Hogarth, Lowry or Peter Blake, this artist is not.

I think you're right that less young people are getting involved since cricket came off terrestrial TV. It's played at a lot less state schools now as well. (Edited, as my previous reply was about something completely different. I may have been celebrating the win a little too much when I posted it.) Sorry, cross-post. I was replying to Malumbu. Give me a minute, if you will. I listened to the first two sessions (today) on TMS and popped down to the pub for the evening one. I do miss the days of Peter West, Richie Benaud and Tom Graveney on BBC2. But, the BBC are at least putting on 'Today At The Test' on at around 7pm instead of after midnight. And it was on the 10pm news.

Great finish to today, true Test cricket. India had the chance to kill it off a couple of times, but Carse and Tongue looked far better than I was expecting in a Test situation over the last few days. Still hoping for Jofra and Woody to be back for a couple games each. PGC, do you reckon this 'Anderson -Tendulkar' series could make Tests a bit more interesting to the wider word? There's still Birmingham, north London, Manchester and south London to go. It's never going to be 'The Ashes', but as a five game series, I genuinely think this might get people a bit more involved.

I'm not so sure about that. Starmer, Reeves, Lammy and Rayner are noticeable by their absence. The only one of the 'Big Five' on the list is Cooper who, as Home Secretary, one would hope was on top of this. It's bang on her brief.

Would you take a tenner for the baggie? There's four decent lines or a couple of 'Rockstars' in there. Message me on here, or ask for 'Dave' in the Herne. Left hand side of the bar, normally.

Even with this quote from the article? 'First and foremost, the music across its three days is curated with admirable care.'