We join the forum going about it's manoeuvres and exercises when suddenly an unexpected blast from the past rocks the boat. Admin: Officer of the watch MacGabhan. How's she fairing? Officer MagGabhan: It's a quiet night Captain. I've trimmed the bow planes to 90 degrees and we're cruising at a comfortable 15 knots on silent speed. Admin: Whats our depth? OM: Precisely 150 meters sir Admin: Splendid. Officer Piers, how is our engine situation? Have we got a full compliment at that post? OP: Situation is as standard and drilled sir. All crew members posted to that part of the vessel are accounted for. Admin: Wonderful. Officer Moos. Is the ASDIC sonar picking up anything? OMS: Exactly as it was last night sir. Utterly dead. Admin: Good. Keep your ear to the ether. OMS: Aye Aye sir. Admin: OK officer MacGabhan we may as well surface for the night. Take her up. OMS: Sir. I'm picking up a faint propeller echo, roughly 2 kilometers port of us sir. Admin: We'll wait a while to suss out if they're hostile. It may just be a harmless bot. OMS: They've flooded their tubes sir! Admin: Officer of the watch. Sound red alert and signal all hands to brace themselves! Officer Piers. Send a message to the Adminarilty to warn them we're under attack and that we will reserve no measures in order to defend ourselves! Admin: Officer MacGabhan. Flood tubes 1 to 4. Set warheads. OM: Aye Aye sir. OMS: Sir their post is 500 meters from impact! Admin: Officer of the watch. Adjust Giro planes to 45 degrees respectively and engage propulsion to 32 knots. Instruct *Bob* to post an acid and dry response. OM: Everything is ready. Admin: Post! OMS: The post is nearing impact......direct hit sir. That told Snor...the enemy. We've got another customer sir. A retard 200 meters off the starboard bow. Admin: Instruct able boy Woof to post a baffling attack. OMS: The post is in the ether sir. Another direct hit sir. That told Mike...the enemy a thing or two. OMS: We've got another one sir. It's larger than the others. It's engine is giving off the impression that this particular enemy is a younger little gobshite. Admin: I can't stand those. Instruct Officer Dulwichmum to fire off a scathing attack. OMS: Aye Aye sir. The post is on it's way to it's victim. Sorry sir but it was blown out of the water by it's target. Admin: Instigate our secret weapon. Instruct Ted Max to post a ridiculing and humour sodden post to let the target/little shit know everyone on board this vessel is laughing at them. OMS: Already taken care of sir. Target neutralized. Admin: Thank god for that. I thought we were doomed. [Cue romantic embrace between Admin and Officer MacGabhan that carry on on for...naval vessels all over the world] Admin: Well. I think we should all have a cup of tea to celebrate. Ensign Daizie, put the kettle on, there's a luv. ED: Two lumps or one sir. Admin: Two lumps. ED: Oooo...eerr.
