Let's rewrite the rules of football........Proposal # 6 - Football Interactive

[Mick Mac]

I suggest that FIFA plant bugs in several strategic locations.

One would be attached underneath the referee's collar so the viewers and commentators can listen in on his uncensored comments, observations and any arguments that occur between the pitch official and any unwitting players.

A second bug would be placed in the changing rooms so the commentators and viewers at home can eavesdrop on any heated discourse. The coach would ideally be provided with a bamboo cane to bring home the frustration of the management. Providing the unseen audience with any yelps and screams brought about by the application of the birch on its high profile recipients.

During halftime, or after an important World Cup match the supporters of the losing team and viewers at home would be invited to take part in a vote. So any poorly performing members of the team could be voted off the pitch. Mirroring the system employed by the equally frustrating Big Brother.

Coaching staff and the management would naturally be excluded from any participation in the vote. But would instead be provided with technology in the dug-out that would enable them to send small - yet excruciatingly painful - electric shocks aimed at players they believe aren't pulling their weight.