Godparents..... family or friends?

[ClareC]

What is the etiquette if there is one?

My partner and I both have aunts and uncles as godparents. For our daughter we intend to choose the people we think would be most appropriate and would take the "job" seriously and have an active role in her life, this happens to be a mixture of family and friends (2 family one friend). Got a bit of a grilling about this yesterday as the expectation seems to be we should have all family.

I think the grilling was more to do with being upset a certain family member wasn't going to asked and there is an expectation there, even so, wondered if we are being unfair and should cave in to having an extra godparent (I really do not want to do this, my personal opinion being to stick with tradition since it makes being "chosen" the compliment it is.

Any thoughts?

[Belle]

I'd go with your gut instinct. I also had a situation where I knew who we wanted but worried about putting other people out, but when it comes down to it this is for your child - more important than say the bridesmaid/best man choice which often throws up similar dilemmas. We didn't choose family as we felt they'd have a role anyway. You shouldn't feel pressured into choosing anyone you're not keen on/changing the numbers.

[Ruth_Baldock]

We didn't get our son baptised in the end (because I'm Jewish and, dur...so is he!) but his godparents are/were my husband's best friend and my best friend- they were also the witnesses at our wedding so I felt it was a nice 'fit'. My sister in law threw a fit because SHE wanted to be godmother, dunno why, she doesn't like me or my husband and is usually disinterested in my son...

[ClareC]

It all sounds so familiar!! Thanks, I feel like I am not being unreasonable after all ;-)

[ClareC]

meant to add, Belle, we feel the same way, that family have an important role anyway!! Having one friend seems to be controversial!?!? :-(

[Belle]

We went for two godmothers and one godfather for our son - so not the traditional arrangement - but it was what felt right. Not sure if family were put out but I did find people expected it to be a bigger do than it was, almost like a wedding. as it was, we stuck to godparents and v close family. Did get a few comments about that.

[craigy]

If I ever get round to getting mine baptised the god parents will be friends.. My sister had her one and only baby in january and is planning her baptism and has asked my husband to be god father but not me god mother- I am not bothered, I was hugely flattered that they chose my gusband as the only god father but I am her aunt and will always be and if anything happened to my sister and her husband she would come to me as I am legal gusrdian and vice versa with my children..

Why do people think they can interfere with your decision for your child?? I have a friends whose childless brother has never seen his niece and nephew because he did not agree with the choice of godparent!!!