Sleep with newborn - if you had it to do over again

[Fuschia]

Science of parenting by Margot Sunderland is good evidence based info into human brain devt inc sleep patterns

Library has it

[fairylamb]

With my first and currently only child I always made night feeds strictly business (no talking, playing, fussing, very low lights etc) - fed him, straight back down to settle himself and I never ever dream fed. Before 12 weeks slept next to me in a carrycot, fed on demand and naturally alert in the evenings. From 12 weeks down at 7 in his own room see how long he could go. Initially he woke 2-3 times a night then once a night at about 5 months (usually 3:00am) then at 8 months he occasionally slept through or woke up at 5 for a bottle and went back down. Slept through without milk at 11 months.

If I did it again I might try dream feeding. There was no stress in my approach as the feeds just naturally dropped off as he got bigger. With dream feeding I would have had an advantage of moving his 7 hour stretch in line with mine and wouldn't have received so many pitying (or effing irritating) remarks about him not sleeping through. But then again I quite liked my adult only evenings. So I guess I wouldn't do it differently.

HOWEVER I did not put any thought at all into his daytime sleeping routine and consequently despite being good at night he will only sleep in a pushchair during the day. And he has survived on only 1 sleep per day (sometimes for only 20 minutes) since about 8 months. Although on the bright side he does compensate his lack of day time sleep with extra night sleep ? sleeps until 7:30 sometimes 9 (none of that getting up at 6 and back to bed at 9 business). If I have another I will definitely try and adopt some sort of cot based daytime sleeping regime.

[Saffron]

If I had it to do over, I would use an Amby Baby Hammock from birth! I didn't find out about these until Bubs was about 4 months old. Even so, I still let her sleep on me or next to me a lot, as she likes to cluster feed, and it's the only way I can get any sleep.

Just do whatever makes you feel that your baby feels your love.

I would also read The Wonder Weeks (Vanderijt & Plooij) and The Continuum Concept (Liedloff) sooner.

Best of luck and have fun :-)

[marscapone]

I would try not to worry too much about routine, or at least be far more flexible with routine for the first few months. I am writing from the perspective of having 2 kids so going out for dinner is not so easy these days, but I really wish that I'd put first baby in pram/sling and gone out a bit more in the evenings when he was young enough to sleep anywhere.

[sandy_rose]

I haven't read all the posts but my advice would be to throw away the books now and just go with the flow for te first 8 weeks. I skimmed through baby whisperer and gina ford, they did nothing but make me feel inadequTe when my baby didn't seem to conform at all. I'm so glad I didn't follow any advice as it would just have been stressful for me.

My baby is only 3 months so perhaps I'm not qualified to advice others yet (!) but I'd say nothing prepares you for how you will feel for the little one once he/she arrives. I thought I would perhaps try the controlled crying route but lo and behold my baby was fed to sleep from the start and it's just so lovely. I never let her cry, she really doesn't need to, if you spend time getting to know your baby you will probably learn to recognise the different signs for sleepiness/ hunger etc before they get grumpy, no need for books just mother's instinct.

I sometimes put her down when she is drowsy, sometimes she is already asleep. Either way, she has been sleeping 7-7 with a quick 2am feed from about 8 wks. When she wakes up in the morning she chats away to herself in her cot for a while before I pick her up and she's always happy. I'm convinced this is due to the fact that I spent my time enjoying getting to know her and responding to her needs instead of stressing about routines.

Oh, and re the sleep deprivation it's honestly never been an issue either, just sleep when your baby sleeps - and this is a lot!