Separation anxiety question

[Lochie]

Just wanted to pick the brains of you experienced Mums! I went to see a friend on Saturday and her mum (who is great with kids) took my little 11 month old boy off my hands for 10 minutes for a nosey around and a play. During this 10 mins I could hear his murmering cries getting more and more hysterical - a raging cry which is rare for him. I finally went to get him as I couldn't bear to hear it anymore, and he was beside himself and literally scrambling at me to not be put down EVER again, sobbing so much he couldn't catch his breath etc. He did calm down after a few minutes. This also happened again earlier on in week when he was in my arms, a visitor at the house said hello, and he screamed as if in fear of his life!

I know this is probably the start of separation anxiety, but what is the best way to deal with it? (probably not a simple answer I know!) I'm getting married on Sunday and am a bit worried this might happen as I am walking down the aisle and I'll have to scoop him my arms and say my vows with him clinging on for dear life!!!

Just to clarify, as of last week he was very confident and sociable around new people. There have been no home changes in the last week at all either.

[Lochie]

I should add I realise there might not be a solution and its just part of being a mum, but my friend's mum suggested there are ways of helping him overcome it...!

[womanofdulwich]

well both of mine were like this and had to build up to a nanny over a few days, just being in the house in and around us. what were you planning to happen at your wedding? was your mum or another friedn going to look after him? I would start now on familiarising them with that person asap, as you want them to be there- just being close to them with you in the vicinity. so they know you are ok with it and ar close at hand. i think if they can see you that is better than being in a different room. but you might have to put some serious groudn work in urgetnly to avoid tears on the day.

I thought all children were like this - but boys might be worse- anyway they do grow out of it- but i could never leave mine in creches and had to build up a strong relationship with a friend at church to take turns at the church creche. never managed ikea/ othe shop creches.

[Saffron]

Lochie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I'm getting

> married on Sunday and am a bit worried this might

> happen as I am walking down the aisle and I'll

> have to scoop him my arms and say my vows with him

> clinging on for dear life!!!

If you have to carry him up the aisle with you on the day, it doesn't have to be a bad thing. People will think, There goes a beautiful loving mother, and shortly to be a devoted wife!

Also, could your Maid of Honour or the Best Man hold/carry your little one, so that he can be close to you throughout the service?

Best of luck on the day :)

-Saff

[Lochie]

Thanks womanofdulwich and saffron - I think cos he has always been such a sociable chappy I hadn't thought of getting him used to me not being around because he didn't have a problem with it, but he has just switched so recently. And am going back to work in 3 weeks too, so no doubt if he isn't used to it on Sunday he will have to get used to it very soon!

I would happily have him on my knee whilst saying my vows but for whatever reason I am not sure if you are allowed (as much as I hate to think that would be the case) cos the registrars seem to get quite serious about vows being a legal declaration without distraction - but I will no doubt find out on the day! x

[Ruth_Baldock]

I second what Saffron said, but also to put your mind at ease:

I got married at the end of May, when SA was setting in for Baby Baldock. However, the commotion and interesting people, outfits, music, flowers etc held Baby's attention and he was fine. I took him when we signed our marriage cert. but that was out of choice.

Congratulations on the nuptials :)

[Saffron]

Lochie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I would happily have him on my knee whilst saying

> my vows but for whatever reason I am not sure if

> you are allowed (as much as I hate to think that

> would be the case) cos the registrars seem to get

> quite serious about vows being a legal declaration

> without distraction - but I will no doubt find out

> on the day! x

Yeah, the registrars can be a bit stuffy, but you can have fun flouting their "rules". It's your day!