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Got this from a great unknown songwriter the other night - let me know if you wan't the mp3 of it - by sending your e-mail to my Private Message


(To the tune of ?I Don?t Know How to Love Him?)


I don?t know how to write songs

But I know how to steal them

I passed the test

I steal the best

If you keep to the rules

It?s so easy to fool

In oh so many ways


Some of my melodies are lovely

This one?s a Mendelsonh concerto

Let me explain

Public domain

Means that I stay ahead

Cos? the writers have been dead

For oh so many years

I?m in the clear


Can they stop me, No

Do they want to, No

All they want to know

is the secret

How can they share the action with me ?

That?s what it?s all about

Now women all adore me

Though I look like a ferret


What if my face

May lack in grace

When they see the amount

In my bank account

They always want to call

Yes, size is all


All you really need

Is a taste for greed

Then you?ll find you?re freed from such things as

artistic skill and integrity

That?s what it?s all about




I never feel I oughta

Write my own songs like Cole Porter

It?s such a strain

Why rack my brain

When I can pull down a score

Find so many more

That no one can recall

I?ll have them all


(To the tune of Don?t Cry For Me Argentina)


Don?t patronise me, musicians

The truth is I hardly need you

You?re paid for sessions

I make my millions

During recessions

I make my millions


So don?t waste your breath

There?s absolutely nothing you can do

For every single word I?ve said tonight is true


Allegedly

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