Please help; 13 month old screaming in the night

[canadianlisa]

Hi forumites,

I am hoping that you seasoned Mums can give me some advice. I apologise in advance for the long winded post, am feeling very tired and emotional and in need of some reassurance.

For the last 3 nights my 13 month old girl has been waking up screaming bloody murder in the night. Sunday night it was on and off for from about 9 - 2 and then Monday from 8-11 she was awake and inconsolable and then last night it was from 12-1. Prior to that she had been a bit unsettled at night but this is a whole new thing.

We have had a lot going on recently- were away on holiday for a week in Egypt and then came back and I was away on the weekend. I have never left her before for this length of time and am afraid that I have caused all of this by doing so. She was looked after at home by Daddy and was relatively good but did wake in the night.

She also woke up on Monday with a few spots on her arms that look like raised round bumps. I brought her to GP and they could not conclusively diagnose but said that she thought it may be the beginning on hand, foot and mouth. Since Monday she has not had any further spots and they are now fading. She seems to have an little bit of a stuffy nose but otherwise seems fine. She is eating and drinking well and is in relatively good sprits in the day. I think she is cutting a tooth as well.

She has never been a perfect sleeper but was mostly sleeping through and if she did wake would settle down quickly with a blanket and with the dummy. She has not cried going into bed for a long time. When she was about 7/8 months old we did some sleep training (with cc) to overcome frequent night wakings. Since then she has been a relatively good sleeper and had a good routine. She is in the process of going from 2- 1 naps. In the nights past nothing other than sitting in the chair and cuddling her seems to help. She is breastfed and wants to sleep with my breast in her mouth. She won't settle in our bed though so this is not going work. When she is really distressed she is not taking the dummy.

I am feeling really guilty / demoralised by this all. It is awful to see her so upset and nothing seems to calm her and I don't want her to be(come) afraid of her bed. I know they change but I really thought we had this sleep thing cracked. I am also on top of this all starting back at work next week so she is going to nursery. With Christmas coming we will be staying at relatives and I really don't want her to be like this when we are there.

What do you think I should do? Any suggestions appreciated. Is there anyone out there who has had to re-do sleep training- did it work? Is it seperation anxiety? Thanks in advance and sory for the rant.

Lisa

[Fuschia]

Has she got a temperature? I must say the only time I have had that sort of night waking/disttess, it's been an undiagnosed medical problem. Are you giving her calpol/nurofen before bed?

[embo71]

My 14 month old has been a bit like that recently, goes down to bed at 7pm like a dream and then (usually just as i am going to bed or an hour after) she wakes, crying uncontrolably until I (she crys even more if dad picks her up?) get her and bring her into our bed. Thought it was teething as shes got quite a few and it feels like some kind of pain is waking her up, however it has turned into a nasty cough (waking herself up coughing i think), for a few nights and then had high temp yesterday and then this morning projectile vommited her stomach contents all over our bed (240mls of milk and some neurofen). My partner took her to the doc yesterday to check out the temp but was told theres a nasty bug going round and just keep her warm, well hydrated etc etc....

so to answer your question, i have no idea, but could be a combination of a few things including the re settling after being away???

hope it gets better,

em

[trinity]

Have you had her checked for an ear infection? The only time we had that terrible screaming in the night was when mine had an ear infection. I hope whatever it is passes soon.

[Lochie]

Hi Lisa, my 14 mo has very much been on and off like this over the last month or so. He has had a combination of sniffles and temperatures but to me it seems more to do with a developmental change, as he has not been ill the whole time. It is upsetting and frustrating for us, as like you we kind of just about had the sleep thing sorted (or so we thought!). Now for the first time, instead of milk, the only thing that will comfort him is sleeping in between mum and dad after much distressed sudden crying a few hours after he has been put down to bed (very angry crying and almost a bit confused as if he has woken from a nightmare). My mum has suggested that maybe he is getting afraid of the dark, but I am not sure. All this and am sure that teething has something to do with it as well.....if only they could talk!

Anyway just wanted to share our experience, I wonder if something happens about this time that creates a shift in their patterns as it is happening to our little boy too. Just to reassure you the last three of four nights he has been a bit better and last night he slept through thank god!!! So am sure it'll be short lived.

Going to the docs is a good idea though just to be sure

good luck

x

[canadianlisa]

Yes I wondered about the ear infection as well. We were at the GPs on Tuesday due to the spots on her arms and she checked ears, nose, throat and all was fine- no temperature. She is also very jolly in the day. Maybe it is something that is more uncomfortable at night though.

Lochie- I wondered about the dark and nightmares as well. It is so hard when they cant tell you. Maybe seperation anxiety?

I think it is more developmental. When she has come into our bed she almost instantly cheers up but the problem is that she then thinks its playtime and wants to climb around, put her dummy in our mouths, play with our hair etc. It is strange as it is a switch then from this very angry, sceamy girl to her usual self. I will keep my fingers crossed for tonight as it would be so nice for her to have a peaceful night. Thanks everyone.

[candj]

Your little one sounds young to have them, but it really sounds like night terrors to me. My eldest had them and they always kicked in when she was overtired/jetlagged or stressed about something (new sibling, potty training, starting nursery, giving up dummy, granny visiting and sleeping arrangement changing, etc.). She would scream inconsolably and nothing would stop or wake her until my husband started to take her outside in the garden to 'look at the stars'. The sudden change in temperature and environment would wake her up and she'd be fine and she'd remember nothing then or in the morning. She would scream and look straight through me when I was in the room trying to calm her down. It was an absolutely terrifying phase that lasted about 7 months and gradually she outgrew them.

I just wonder with your holiday to Egypt and slight time change and also you being away might have unsettled her a bit. As someone suggested maybe give her some calpol before bedtime if she is teething just to rule that out. Also, has she just started walking recently as I've known children to sleep poorly during the night because of this for some weird reason.

Good luck and hope it ends soon!

[Yorkie]

My 16nths old does this too and tonight has been awake since 10.30. She does the wanting to play thing too & I'm sure it's a distraction for her for some kind of pain/distress as it's usually just before a tooth appears. She's also been ill and is doing major babbling with new sounds so I wonder if she's getting ready to say something too. Her other milestones have usually played havoc with her sleep too. I'm sure it's a phase which will pass once the 'thing', whatever it is, has gone but if it persists more than a few nights I wld go back to the Drs. Hope you're all asleep peacefully tonight.

[canadianlisa]

Uuugghhh another bad night. An hour of screaming between 8-9 p.m., then she slept through until 5:45 , had another scream for 15 minutes and then back to sleep until 7:30. We gave her a dose of nurofen last night which did not seem to make a big difference. We also gave her a very flat pillow as were thinking that maybe she was uncomfy. She did seem to like it as she stayed at that end of the cot last night. It is awful to hear her screaming and holding up her arms to get up.

She is not walking yet but had started standing unaided and taking the odd step so maybe that is doing something. She is so happy and sociable in the day that I can't imagine she is ill. No temperture, eating and playing well and no real signs of teething. Not much you can do about it but hope it improves. Thanks again everyone- always helps to know I am not alone.

[Saffron]

You could try making her cotbed more of a nest. We did this for Little Saff by putting a couple of small rolled-up fleecy blankets down each side of the cotbed. Then we gave her a very flat pillow which had been in our bed several nights so it smell of mummy and daddy. She is still not a great sleeper, but this has helped some. x

[Fuschia]

If you google "Wonder weeks" you will find stuff about the various developmental leaps which can affect sleep. I think there is one at a year, and another at about 61 weeks...

[canadianlisa]

Yes just been reading my Dr. Sears book about the developmental leaps. Will good wonder weeks. We are almost at 61 weeks now.

I am hoping that maybe the pillow helps Saff and was thinking of maybe trying her with a duvet. I also gave her one of our pillows. I got her a new grobag which is roomier but maybe she doesn't like to be confined anymore. I will probably explore all the options and then she will start sleeping again and I will never figure out what it is! It's always a bit of mystery isn't it?

[Saffron]

An interesting and quick read......

http://cleverfather.com/sleep-regression-frequently-asked-questions/

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

My son spent months screaming during the night, nothing I did helped, it was just night terrors and as he was asleep when he was doing the screaming and crying, he was not aware of it, and just had to get it out of his system before he fell back to sleep, I would cuddle him, stroke him etc but it did nothing. Lately ( touch wood) he has not had any night terrors for a few months so I hope it continues like that as it is extremely upsetting to hear them in such anguish and not being able to help but with night terrors, there really is nothing you can do, all you can do it try to stick to the same routine and no stress so it does not disturb them too much http://www.buzzle.com/articles/night-terrors-in-babies.html I hope she settles soon x

[canadianlisa]

Thanks ladies. I liked this quote from the buzzle site;

'It is very essential to educate or teach other family members and servants who are with the child to deal with emergencies and tough situations.'

I will be sure to let the servants know asap! Both useful articles though. It might be night terrors as she is totally out of it when she is crying and does not show an interest in her dummy which is very weird for her. Poor girl.

So far so good tonight, keep your fingers crossed for me.

x

[Saffron]

Oh another thing you could try... baby osteopathy... I believe the osteopath on Barry Road (no. 15a) is very highly recommended. xx

[GinaG3]

My daughter did this at the same age. It lasted about 3 weeks, stopped and then she started sleeping through. Could it be transition to longer sleep times? I'm sure its just a phase, a lot of baby do the same at this age. Of course it could be teeth, no doubt molars are trying to cut at the minute.

[canadianlisa]

Thanks everyone. Last night she didn't make a peep and slept from 7:30 until we got her up at 7:30- it is so strange. I need to try to not get into a panic about these things. I saw a bunch of my mum friends today with other one year olds and of the 4 I mentioned it to, all said that they are having similar problems so clearly we are not alone. She only has 5 teeth so far so teeth are bound to be a continuing hassle for a while.