Leaving toddler with dad for a few days - need ideas to help her be ok with it

[Sanne Panne]

Am going to Paris for a long weekend (Thu afternoon - Sun afternoon) soon, leaving 8 month old and 2y8m old at home with their dad. He's perfectly capable of looking after the girls and the household etc - I just worry a bit about our eldest as she's a mummy's girl and will probably get upset over my absence.

How can I keep her happy? My husband will obviously go out to the park and playground to keep them busy, but am thinking a daily "wake up present" and/or "bedtime present" from me with a little note could be nice. My mum did that when she was away for a week when I was 5 and I loved it. What other things can I do? I can call once a day, or maybe I shouldn't, depending on whether she asks for me a lot or not.

Does anyone have any ideas? Thanks!!

[snowboarder]

Due to new baby I recently had an unexpected 4 days totally away from my 23 month old, then 5 days in hospital where I saw him during the day but he went home with his dad. Only ever left him for one night before this. He was so fine, especially for the first 4 days when he was with his grandparents (and staying at their house - never ever stayed away from home before!!), so wish had packed him off for the odd weekend sooner!! And he is very mummy centred as I don't work - so it seems they are fine and we are the ones that worry!!

I decided not to call or speak to him as thought that might actually upset him and remind him I wasn't there. Little present is a really nice idea though - if you think she's old enough to 'get' it.

[Sanne Panne]

She's quite anti-daddy sometimes when I'm around but it's usually ok when I'm not there. She's good on the language front so a satisfying explanation of why I'm away may help. Am thinking of telling her I'm going to Holland to get her room ready for when we go there to see my parents / her grandparents the week after. She can picture something concrete when I explain that whereas Paris (or generally "away") is too vague a concept. She can also somewhat handle the concept of how many days something takes ("three big sleeps") but less information may be better. I really don't know!

[laurac]

I went to Paris for the weekend when my eldest was 2yr9m - the first time I had been away from her overnight. I was worried about how she might be (she spent every weekday with me) but to be honest she was so fine she couldn't even be bothered to speak to me on the phone when I anxiously checked in every day! My partner had planned a special 'camping' trip for her at his mum and dads which definitely worked as a special treat/major distraction so I would recommend for your husband to think of planning something out of the ordinary for them to do together - although I appreciate perhaps not so easy when he has your eight month old to care for as well. Hope you have a great time and don't worry too much, I'm sure she will be fine.

[JS33]

I hadn't even spent a night away from my somewhat needy/very attached two year old before going away for 6 days. She was not entirely herself while I was gone, but also never got tremendously upset, and we all considered that a terrific outcome. We agreed I wasn't going to call/webcam with her while I was away unless she asked, thinking that would just upset her, but I put a small picture of myself in a little keychain and left it in the flat for her to find while I was away. She liked it but didn't seem to need it for emotional reassurance. I didn't tell her I was going away until the morning I left, and everyone consistently told her the same thing while I was gone -- that I was going to California but coming back in a few days -- in hopes that she'll remember the episode later on. Good luck -- I'm sure it will be fine and good for all of you!