Interesting thoughts re:how we talk to children.

[sophiechristophy]

http://www.authenticparenting.info/2011/06/your-belly-is-really-fat-body-shaming.html

[Fuschia]

It's a big responsibility in particular having a girl

Even at 6 my friend's daughter came home from school saying she was fat!

[zeban]

Fuschia that makes me so incredibly sad. My Mum has 4 girls and unfortunately one has had an eating disorder for most of her life but this hasn't got anything to do with comments from my Mum or the way we were brought up- her eating disorder isn't a case of thin=beautiful. In fact my Mum has always been really good with not influencing us in terms of appearance. She never called us pretty not because she didn't think we were but because she didn't want appearance to be something to focus on or aspire to. She's never put on make up in front of us and never really made food or weight an issue for herself which I'm really grateful for. I didn't start caring about make up or appearance until I was 17/18- I was more interested in playing with clothes and crazy hair styles to express myself.

I know it's everywhere and children are influenced by what they see around them but I truly believe when you have girls that as a mother you really have a responsibility to be careful what you say about yourself, and your body, in front of your girls, and generally to be a good role model in really loving yourself and your body and to put aside your insecurities. Self hatred can really be learnt.

[Fuschia]

My friend's daughter is absolutely fine, tall and perfectly Proportioned. So it's evenmire ridiculous !

[chantelle]

i wouldn't read too much into the offhand comments made by strangers or even grandparents though. That has always existed. Far more worrying are the social and advertising messages that have taken things to a whole new level and put massive pressure on girls and women. Even boys and men are feeling more pressure to be perfect and well-groomed - there was a story in the Sunday Times, not that it's a new phenomenon. They'll never have it as bad as the girls but it's all part of our turbo-charged pornified and celebrified culture.

[zeban]

chantelle Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> i wouldn't read too much into the offhand comments

> made by strangers or even grandparents though.

> That has always existed. Far more worrying are the

> social and advertising messages that have taken

> things to a whole new level and put massive

> pressure on girls and women. Even boys and men are

> feeling more pressure to be perfect and

> well-groomed - there was a story in the Sunday

> Times, not that it's a new phenomenon. They'll

> never have it as bad as the girls but it's all

> part of our turbo-charged pornified and

> celebrified culture.

I disagree that you shouldn't worry about offhand comments. It's these comments that always stick with people, often reinforced by the culture we live in. I think it's the immediate people around us that have the power to influence us more.

[zeban]

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/jun/17/children-influence-parental-drinking