Views on Egg Donation..

[GinaG3]

I'm wondering what people think about the processes and, if anyone would ever consider or has already done it? I'm researching heavily at the moment as I'm very interested in being able to help families that cannot have children naturally. I'm still considered very young, I suppose, but in the UK you can donate from 18 years of age. I'd be willing to do it now, but am concerned of the risk to my own fertility. For such reasons I would do it closer to 30 years old. After trying to convince my partner to have just one more child. Its going round and round in my head at the minute and I'm feeling such numbness in my heart thinking about people that deserve to have children but cant. I think its an amazing gift to somebody. I believe every woman should have the chance to experience the indescribable feelings that come with having children. For these reasons I really hope I can be an eligible donor in the future.

Discuss please? I really hope this thread does not offend in any way and apologize in advance if it does. X

[Ruth_Baldock]

Gina, I have done this when I was 20. Ironically, I had loads of problems ~ladywise afterwards that were unrelated and the whole thing seemed a bit like a greek tragedy, but I'm glad I did it. Can you do it after you've had a baby? If so, I'd totally do it again. I'd also happily be a surrogate, and have been talking to a family member a lot about this; she cannot sustain a pregnancy, but I can, and I want to help.

[GinaG3]

WOW! Go you. You can be a donor after having children yes, in fact they recommend you finish your family first if your serious about having your own children. You can donate up until the age of 35 in the UK. I'm interested in everything that comes with it. I am concerned about the daily injections and the surgical procedure itself (don't like being injected, scared of any surgery!) but can definitely overcome that. I feel so strongly about doing it after having Lily. No women should miss out on childbearing, unless of course by choice they don't want children. I've thought about surrogacy as I feel it would be a less invasive but know I could never birth a child and hand it over to someone else. I mentally wouldn't be able to handle that route.

Absolutely LOVE that you've done this before!! If you don't mind, what made you want to do it at such a young age, before you'd experienced having your own child? Its a very mature decision.

[Ruth_Baldock]

I did it because I was totally certain that I never wanted children! Ha ha ha ha absolute LOL. My Mum struggled to concieve me, and my sister (after my sister who is 4 years younger than me, she got pregnant at the drop of a hat, strangely enough, which is how she ended up with lots of us) and a lot of my family members have fertility problems. It was painful to see my aunt go through miscarriage after miscarriage and be denied adoption, too. She was a shell of a woman and I wanted to help someone in the same way that she needed help. In the end, she had a baby via a surrogate (baby is now 3). Also, At the time, I had just come out of a pretty nasty bout of depression and wanted to help someone and do something good, I think. TBH, I'm not enitrely sure WHY I did. It just seemed like a good idea. I was very very very squeamish about the jabs but the 'removal' (surgery) was easy peasy...in theory.

I must be the most fertile person ever, considering I went through that, then discovered I had PCOS and yet, concieved two babies whilst using two forms of contraception- three if you count BF as one! Bloody hell.

[chantelle]

It is a wonderful thing to do and you could make the difference between tragedy and joy in people's lives. As someone who has gone through every fertility treatment known to man, multiple times, I can say from my own experience that the process of injecting drugs to stimulate your ovaries (and the actual egg collection) is really straightforward and pain free. I didn't even have any side effects, though many women do.

There is no real evidence it will have any effect on your fertility either, and there's no reason it should. (I think there have been some minor studies showing minor elevation of certain health risks but I don't think the medical establishment has accepted there are any conclusive risks at all. correct me if I'm wrong.)

best wishes.

[GinaG3]

Thanks for your input Chantelle. I appreciate it.

Its really hard to find information on the net from within the UK as I know laws etc are different in the US. The one thing I'm trying to research at the minute is the sort of health issues (of a donor) that are acceptable or unacceptable. Can either of you point me to anywhere on the web? At the minute most of my information is coming from Wikipedia (not the most reliable) and the NGDT website.

Thank you.

[sophiechristophy]

I think it is an amazing thing to help a couple conceive. I was just wondering GinaG3 what your thoughts are on the fact that you would have a biological child(ren) in the world, entrusted to people that you don't know, that you wouldn't know, a sibling(s) for your daughter that she would never meet - or might meet and not know she was related to. Especially considering you are so keen to have more children yourself... I find it hard to fully get my head around, what do you think? (not trying to put you off just looking to explore the idea fully). S xx

[sillywoman]

yes sophiec that's what I always come up against. I always felt I would be willing to carry a child for a close friend or relative should the circumstance arise, but to donate an egg to . . whoever would mean (to me) that my child is out there somewhere and I'm not able to protect, or help it in anyway.

Also, I agree about the issue of 'what if'. What if one of my children should meet them as an adult and begin a long term relationship with them - all unknowing of their origin? How does that work?

For these reasons egg donation wouldn't be for me unless I knew the prospective parents well.

[GinaG3]

Of course the child would biologically be half 'mine' but at the same time it wouldn't. On giving eggs you must be prepared to put in your mind that the child wouldn't be related to you in the sense it would be if you carried it. Its confusing to write how you feel about this sort of thing. Its in my head but writing it down is tricky. I'd find it the most heartbreaking process to actually carry the child, birth it then hand it over. I've contemplated the option of surrogacy and would love to be able to but know I just couldn't. But when thinking in terms of eggs I don't feel the same way. It seems a completely different concept in my mind. One that I can handle.

I've also thought of the 'what if my child falls in love..' scenario and thats difficult to grasp. The way I see it the chances are slim to none. Out of millions of people in the country it would be extremely unlikely that my child would fall in love with its biological brother or sister. Of course there is always the option to donate abroad, but whether that would appeal to me more or less I'm unsure.

I would just love to give less fortunate people the chance to have what they've always dreamt of. I'm only 21 I've got years to get my head fully around how I feel about the whole situation, and a lot more time to think about my decision. Lord knows I might not even be able to donate, I just don't know yet.

It would be lovely to donate to someone close to me that I know is struggling to conceive but the prospect of possibly seeing that child grow up, and it being so close to me is daunting to say the least.

I'm struggling to write how I feel and explain whats going on in my head with the whole situation but its one of those things that; the thought of not being able to do it for someone leaves me with a numb empty sort of feeling.

I imagine a lot of people find this subject a bit tricky to say how they feel about it (especially considering the amount of views of this thread to the actual amount of comments posted..)

[zeban]

I think it's an amazing thing to do. I don't think I could do it personally though for the exact reasons that SophieC mentions above- I'm not sure I could be quite so strong to be able to remove myself from it all. But if you can then it's really wonderful.