toddler leaving mum for chilminder/nursery:so stress

[VALFR59]

Hi super mummy's !

I'm more and more stress by the way my son will manage the time he will have to spend with a childminder or at the nursery...I'm afraid about the possibility he could be sad or feel worth in his mind as he is such a smiling/happy boy!

he will start to go to the childminder of one of my mummy's friend one/two days a week in September.I know she is nice but I'm asking question about how he will feel there...does he will be scared that I'll abandon him, etc..In the same time I REALLY need some free time to progress in my job research and my learning of english language!

I also think to apply for little jungle nursery for 3 others days from january/february as I hope to return to work in full time ASAP after 10 months to integrate us in this new country wich I like a lot!(we come from France).Furthemore, the childminder can only look after him two days a week so I have to find another solution for the rest of the week.

He's now too old to be alone with a nanny at home as he loves to see others children! and I thought perhaps it's harder to stay home without me than to be without me in a different place .

My son stays with me until now (he is 20 months old). we had a nanny , 2 days a week but quite difficult for him to adapt when he felt my presence at home (as I had to work my english )...we have now an au pair for July but even if she seems very kind when she comes home he says to her "bye bye", doesn't want to make her a kiss before I ask him to do it at least 10 times and I ask him not be rude etc...So when they are at home, I have to go away if not he's screaming for "maman"!! when I come back, at the end of the day, he is in good mood and kind with her....It's weird because my son is very friendly and sociable.For example when we are at some music lessons, he doesn't want to stay around me and prefers dancing, saying hello to ohters mummy's and children...

Have you ever been in my situation with a toddler? If yes can you share your experience on how your child had accepted the change in his life? and advice to manage that situation in the better way for him!

Thanks a lot :))

[katgod]

my children do not cope well if there is more than one person in charge. They are fine with the nanny when I am not there, but if we are both there they get confused. So think that is normal. Re childcare, all you can do is choose the best option as you see it. Explain clearly that mummy has to go now, but that ytou will be back at teatime/3 o'clock/whatever he understands. My 4 year old understands that I will be home just after she has had her dinner. He will have fun with other children, lots of cuddles and love when you are back - bound to worry but it will be fine.