Playdate; wanted, needed.

[GinaG3]

I really would never do something like this. So bare with me. A lot of you know me 'on forum' although have been otherwise engaged as of late and haven't posted at all recently. So hello again.

I'm Gina, mum to Lily who has just turned 3! Can't believe it! Now what else can I say. She starts nursery in 6 months and I'd love for her to start socialising with some children her own age. Up until now, she always and only interacted with adults, to the point now, I'm her best friend and she does indeed act like a 15 year old. Don't worry, she is 3! It's my own fault. I'm breaking barriers this year, so on the hunt for friends. I'm not keen on doing groups, as I'm sorry to any dulwich mums that disagree but I find it very difficult as a young mum (I'm nearly 22) I feel so unwelcome Everytime I try a group. I'm not your average teen mum, I promise.

We found a little girl (not literally) but bumped into at the doctors the other day at the gardens. My daughter won't stop talking about her. She is a piglet lover, as it appeared was this little girl. Both carrying around piglet. If you remember, it was you and your child, Ella. My daughter would love to see her again. You never know who is reading do you.

Anyway my intentions are good, my daughter needs interaction, if your like me, or just friendly. PM me. I must do something. Can anyone point me in the direction of some nonjudgmental, free, people will talk to me groups? Did I mention cake?

Thanks for reading

*exhale*

X

[The Nappy Lady]

Gina

I have a cheeky 3 year old (going on 15) who would love to play on a Friday morning. Maybe soft play together? I can transport us.

Pm me, Molly

P.S. Well done on such a brave post, we all feel like this at some point I suspect.

Xx

[damzel]

You are very articulate GinaG3. I just wanted to offer you some reassurance really. Last summer my daughter (4 next week) started saying to me "I wish you had a baby in your belly" and "why aren't any of our neighbours little girls" and "I wish I had a sister" etc etc. I felt sad that she obviously felt so lonely - like you all I could offer her was adult company as we don't have any close friends with kids and I work 4 days a week. In September she started at Gumboots nursery and within a month, when we were walking home she said to me "mummy I have LOTS of friends!". It was so lovely to hear that. Now, 6 months later she has 8 friends coming to her birthday party (and I'm freaking out as I have NO idea what to do with them!)

[GinaG3]

Thanks Molly. It's been a really difficult time for me since she was born. I vowed when I fell pregnant I'd do everything I could for her. She completely changed my life in an instant. Ive given her everything in her life apart from this opportunity as my health has been overshadowing a lot of day to day stuff for the last 2 years. Need to bring her needs back to the priority again now.

We would love to soft play, another lady PMd me who would be interested too I think. I'll get back to her. I've had quite a lot of messages and slowly trying to sift through them on my iPhone. Plus checking back for typos.. Perfectionist? Yes.

Damzel; thanks for your reply. My daughters been the same. As much as I rush I could have another child now I'm bound by restrictions. Ho hum. I'm sure my daughter will be exactly the same when she starts nursery. I'm looking forward to it. I love creating children's parties. I'm sure you will be fine. Best of luck to you x

[lucyA1308]

Dear Gina,

Wow. you sound very brave. I couldn't have managed without going to groups. my older daughter has been very lively right from the beginning, always needed other childrens company. If you have done everything all on your own, you are a braver woman than me.

We go to some nice groups which are small and friendly and welcoming. Small Saints on a Friday morning, at All Saints Church, West Dulwich. Grove Vale library on a Tuesday morning are my favourite ones. There are others, but these are the ones where I have been able to chat to mums, know that my daughter is safe, if I need to stop to BF my little baby, and where she has got something good from the morning.

hope you sort something out. There is a whole world out there waiting for you and your daughter to discover.

[Ruth_Baldock]

Gina,

I know how you feel. Honestly. We've talked about this before, and I've had some awful experiences at groups, and I'm not even that much of a 'Young' Mum anymore (26, woe...).

We're always around, Seb is younger than L and considerably less verbal, but he's a happy and friendly little chap. And Lex is just lovely too. I know it's quite far from you, but the All Saints playgroup at All Saints Church on Blenheim (Sp?) Road in SE15 is a lovely and accepting group; you get all sorts and it's one of my favourites, without a doubt.

xxxx

[Tracy551162]

GinaG3, what a great post. So brave and articulate just like the other posters say. I was just looking around the forum for this sort of post as I find playgroups painful. I'm always looking around desperate to befriend anyone and have a proper chat, rather than building yet another tower and doing another puzzle with no adult conversation. I always think most people have made their baby friends when their children were younger. I did too but people are often working on my days off or have family around etc.. I was thinking how great it would be to just post asking for people for a play date, but I chicken out mostly. I find at play groups you end up having the odd word here and there but I find it never really develops into anything more than the odd chit chat, rather than becoming more of a friendship - partly no doubt due to fear of being perceived as desperate. It's very hard to make friends particularly when you are thrown together with a group of people you don't even know if you have anything in common with (apart from children obviously), and as most people are probably in their thirties and above, I can see how you would have felt alienated. I love my two boys to bits but it can get quite lonely sometimes spending all day alone with them.

lucyA - What age group is Small Saints for? I go to the Conker Club on Monday mornings at All Saints in West Dulwich. My boys are 3.5 and 1 and I know some groups only go up to 18 months or 2.

[GinaG3]

Tracy you hit the nail on the head! That's exactly how I feel, I need some motivation and determination. I need to do do more outside of the house before I go insane. Relationships from birth tethered off, and no relationship since has bloomed. Sometimes being a parent is so difficult when all you want is the best for your child. People have have friends already more so friends with children or even better friends with children the same age are blessed from the start I tell you that!

[lucyA1308]

Small Saints is all ages. The older children can help out, i.e. handing out refreshments, and feeling a bit more grown up. There is a story time, and then activities - craft, or general play, or playing with around the large open space in the church. There is a good ration of helpers without children, to mums / carers with, so if anyone needs an extra pair of hands there is usually someone available

[Tracy551162]

GinaG3. Are you going to the forum drinks thing in the Mag tomorrow night at 19:30. There is another post called family room drinks or something. Lots of people seem to be going, so a good opportunity to meet new people. I am planning to go. There is a space reserved in the name of Heidi.

lubcA thanks for the Small Saints info, will definitely check it out.

[GinaG3]

Anything happening this Friday, or anyone want to do anything? PM me any suggestions please. Need to pop to Peckham at some point, so probably afternoon, unless anyone fancies Peckham softplay?

[Saffron]

Hi GinaG3, hope you've found some lovely playdates. Would your little one (or any other Family Roomers?) like to make a playdate to come visit our newborn kittens? Mother cat is very good with toddlers. She's currently nesting on the fouton in our toddler's room! Please PM me. xx