Communicating with children/offspring

[dulwichgirl2]

(I say offspring, which I find a funny word, to encompass teenagers.)

Given a range from total to none, what is the appropriate level of communication to have with children? I had next to none with my parents (but my siblings a great deal more so it wasn't my parents' fault!).

Things change though. A friend recently mentioned children being beaten up at school and said that his father would have raised merry hell about it. I agreed that I would go bananas with the school too but at the same time I stated a bit sadly that I wldnt have told my parents about it. I wldnt have wanted to worry them.

Maybe that is the line to draw - if children are hiding things through protection of parents, it is wrong but if keeping things quiet is just their nature, it's ok? (obviously depending on the severity of the thing in question.)

What do you think?

[oimissus]

I think I agree, I would hope that my daughter would know she COULD come to us with anything if she wanted (and with something like bullying that she should, and that us being concerned shouldn't stop her - that's what we're for after all!), but if she wanted to keep something to herself just because she was a private person, that would be OK too. It's a fine line to draw, especially as they get older. I think trying to be their best friend and knowing everything little thing they're thinking and doing isn't good, and could drive a child away more than draw them in. Be a 'door is always open' type, but don't force them through it.

[dulwichgirl2]

Thank you Oimissus! You put that beautifully and much better than I had done.