'Easier' birth second time round - for how long?

[Fmm]

Amongst my friends most had a 'better' birth and recovery physically second or subsequent times, in comparison to the first time. It was usually quicker and, not to put too fine a point on it, it was slightly less painful to tear/ be cut where they'd torn/ been cut before. It is almost as if your body knows what it is doing, a little bit. Most of these people had an 18-36 month between births. I am interested to know what people think is the biggest gap where this is still the case? For instance, would a 5 year gap be like going back to the first time (as I read somewhere)?

I am only referring here to the physical side of things - tears/ damage and recovery - rather than the psychological/ emotional/ confidence aspects.

[Saffron]

Fmm, I'll be following your thread with interest. I'm happy with one child, but DH would possibly like another. If I would even consider it, we'd have a gap of 7-10 years.

[Fmm]

By the way, to those that know me, I'm not pregnant again! This is posted out of interest and on behalf of someone else.

[shelly2012]

No it was not for me . I had an 8 year gap .

[Pickle]

I tore badly first time round (through my own fault, I was determined to get baby out, midwives were apparently telling me to stop pushing), resulting in lots of stitches. 2nd baby 17 months later, a small tear. Then a 3.5 year gap and with #3 no damage whatsoever and I felt absolutely fine from day 1.

What I did find was that the after pains from everything contracting back into place in the first few days/week after birth were worse with #2 and painful enough for me to take painkillers after #3 (which hubby found amusing given I've had three induced births with no pain relief!).

[sillywoman]

I don't know, but I do know that if there's a gap of 10 years or more between births then, in Midwifery terms, Mum's body is considered to act as it would if it was a first labour.

[womanofdulwich]

4 years later and it was easy!! homebirth- more control - very natural. I WAS LUCKY. I know. I think a lot is to do about knowing your body and asserting yourself instead of letting some vindictive health worker take over.

[pommie]

well with me, second time around was a lot harder. With my first i had her naturally, didnt tear as had to be cut!! Recovery was fine.

Second child I had to be induced a week early due to her potential weight (9lbs). Was started off on the Thursday, panic stations after an internal when i started bleeding heavily. Rushed to labour ward, contractions started, had epidural, in labour for six hours with no regular contractions. One doctor was happy to let me carry on, another said c section which i was happy with as i was concerned I may struggle with a natural birth. All ok apart from having to have a full spinal block. Came out, saw baby getting weighed, then panic stations as i was told my uterus was not contracting as it should so i was rushed back into theatre, knocked out and sorted out. Had to have a blood transfusion as i lost 3 litres of blood, hooked up to all kinds of machines, unable to do much and had to stay in hospital for a week.

So needless to say, my second was not easier for me

[pommie]

oh and the age difference between our two is just over 3 years

[The Nappy Lady]

4.24 year gap between mine & no 2 was easier, though neither birth was 'hard' in all honesty.

Second was much faster & I didn't ache so much afterwards other then the after pains Pickle mentioned, which were sorted with normal pain killers.

[Smiler]

My sil had a v difficult second birth (21 month age gap), shoulder dystocia? But much better third birth.

[kristymac1]

5.5 yrs between mine - first time round 5 hours at home, 2nd degree tear, second time round was a 30minute labour and birth in the back of our car (:-0), no tear.... I did however slip a disc which was agony (back seats of cars dont offer the best birthing position ;-/)....

[Mrs TP]

I ended up having an emergency cesarean with no 1 as she was presenting her forehead and they couldn't do forceps or ventouse so I would say my pelvis had opened but I did not suffer the final vaginal bit.

Just under 3yrs later no 2 was a 'normal' (according to the hosp) forceps vaginal birth. Quick but bloody at the end with cutting and stitches and I remember saying to my hubby 'what the f**k was that?'. He said it was like something out of Pulp Fiction and we were both shaking and in shock.

No 3 almost 5yrs later was fine all v. rapid, pelvis ready, undercarriage ready and v. minor tearing. I had been terrified after no 2 but it was truly fine.

I think all births diff but it does get easier.

[shelly2012]

My first was 6 hours , my 2nd was 2 hours and my 3rd was 10 mins .

[mika1336]

lucky you shelly2012, my first one was 17 hours, my second was 6.5 hours and my third one was with proper contractions and pushing 2 hours.

[sillywoman]

Feel like I've posted this before?

Anyway - for comparison purposes:

1st: 42ish hours

2nd: 10ish hours

3rd: 7ish hours

4th: 18ish hours

Poor me :(

[kamath]

I had a very bad tear the first time (4th degree tear) and was very worried about having another. But 2.5 years later I had another and only managed a 2nd degree tear. I think the body recovers quickly and 2 years is a good gap but psychological you can take longer. I was so worried about tearing again and when it came to pushing a was very scared. Had it not been for an amazing midwife (Mary from lanes midwifes) I think I could of had an awful experience. Due to her attention, care and amazing skills she calmed me down and guided me through the brith. Both labours were quick - first 4 hours and second baby was just under 2.

Guess what I am saying is a think if you feel ready to go again and you feel psychological prepared then go for it. From the small amount of research I did about how the body repairs itself after tearing etc then I think over a year is fine - but I am defiantly not expert!

Good luck x