Should we tip the funeral directors?

[Rose93]

Just wanted to know what the etiquette is for tipping a funeral directors? My mum passed away at the end January from Covid related causes after being in hospital for 4 weeks. Originally, we approached a well know directors on Lordship Lane- as mum died with Covid related causes the service they were offering was limited and to be honest, not fit for a dog. Not allowed to put any items in the coffin, could only have one car, not allowed to visit her, they said they wouldn?t even dress her (or let us do it) but instead said they could lay clothes on top of her. All the while, still charging the normal rate. On top of this, the lack of customer service and empathy from the person we dealt with was just shocking.

This disheartened us so much. We were expecting some restrictions but nothing like this. After calling around a few of the bigger chains we were recommended a directors in SE16. After speaking with them and explaining the service we had been offered, they we?re shocked and appalled. Based on current government advice these restrictions that were put in place were solely for the purpose of making things easier for themselves. It really was a case of making the most amount of money for very little work. The new directors are a chain too and are responsible for 100s of funerals a week, so I can?t even see availability or demand being a justification for the lack of service. Anyway, the new funeral directors have gone above and beyond and have done absolutely everything we have asked to help give my mum the send off she deserves. No restrictions, offering everything you?d expect from a funeral directors, all the while doing it in a covid secure manner. No ask has been too big or too small. Most important they have treated my mum and my family with so much respect and dignity. Finding the new directors was so comforting and they will never truly know how grateful we are.

Oh so back to my original question. Do we tip? If so how much? If not, what is an appropriate gift?

Many thanks

[Penguin68]

Funerals are not cheap, and I wouldn't tip anyone there, but I would write a letter of thanks and I would post in whatever relevant social media (I'm sure there are sites for funeral Directors, otherwise Google at least) an appreciation of what they've done (which is more likely to bring them in business and value than a tip). You could ask them where they would appreciate a positive review.

Sometimes there are functionaries at a crematorium - if they've organised things for you out of standard - whom you might tip, however.

You wouldn't tip a solicitor. Or an accountant. Or a travel agent.

[Pugwash]

I must admit that any funerals we have arranged (6 i think at the last count) We have given a tip to the Pall bearers only. I think it was ?20 in total to be shared out. Last funeral we did was my father's 5/6 years ago and in Sussex.

SE16 sounds like Albins who have a very high standard and reputation.

[beejay]

If it's Albins you have booked your funeral with they are amazing, they are not a large company but have several funeral parlours, i happened to pass a funeral they was preparing in Mottingham this morning, they are so professonal, i think a tip is down to the next of kin, we used them for my late husbands funeral and nothing was too much trouble,

Sincere condolences on the loss of you mum

Bea

[siousxiesue]

We didn't tip as such (pre covid) but the woman who was the first port of call, who took the details and worked on having everything we wanted got a bunch of flowers a few weeks afterwards.