Scattering ashes of Granddad - taking children?

[hpsaucey]

My father died almost 2 years ago and we're finally getting around to scattering his ashes. We're doing it in a beautiful place around 2 hours train journey away. I'm still trying to decide whether or not to take my 2 boys - 7 and 4 - and wondered how others had dealt with this situation??? Any advice would be really gratefully received. We took them to the cremation and get together afterwards, and then even saw their Granddad when he was laid out in his coffin (I thought it important for them to have memories seeing him peaceful and I didn't offer but they asked if they could see him) and have been as straight as possible (given their ages) about what's happened but I just can't decide about this....

Helen

[pommie]

When my father passed away my brothers kids were there at the crematorium when they scattered his ashes. What my brother did was get the girls to write a message on a balloon for grandad, kiss it and release them into the sky. They seemed to love it

[Mrs TP]

I don't see any probs with taking them. Why don't you have a chat with them and see how they feel about it?

[Saffron]

If you're releasing balloons, please make sure they're biodegradable. Otherwise they just make rubbish, can be ingested by wildlife, small can animals get tangled in them, etc.

Little Cherry sells biodegradable balloons: http://www.littlecherry.co.uk/Balloons-&-Ribbon/c148/index.html?gclid=CO_Fhdmv9LQCFe3KtAodRxMA3w . However, even these take 6 months to fully degrade and could cause a bit of trouble in the environment in the meantime.

What about planting a tree instead? This can have the purpose of helping children understand the cycle of life.

My FiL died about two years, and we still have his ashes on shelf. We're going to scatter some of them, and we'll definitely take our daughter. It's a personal choice of course, but I think it provides good closure for children. My husband did not get to attend his grandfather's funeral as a small child, and he's always felt that it was a bit unfair that he was "left behind" when other family members attended the ceremony. Children need closure too. xx

[hpsaucey]

Thanks all for the replies - really helpful. I feel reassured. They'd obviously had 'closure' as they've been fully involved until now, so I suppose it would be strange to suddenly 'back off' after they've seen everything else.

We were going to keep some of the ashes anyway and I while ago decided to plant something for him in our garden(now balcony). Think we'll save some ashes for the plant...

Balloons lovely idea but we're right in the middle of the countryside amongst cows and sheep so I take what you're saying Saffron about the hazards involved, but I love the idea of writing a message. Maybe we'll write one and 'bury' it there.