Partner career change

[Ole]

My partner is considering a career change (to solicitor) and I was wondering if anybody has been in a similar situation (not necessarily to solicitor, any career change that involved study and training years)? I know of couples who have gone though this but nobody who has do it with a young child. I am not (overly) concerned about the financial aspects, but the loneliness and hard work of being mainly the sole carer for our son (weekends and evening study and long working hours during training). I have already gone through this before (hubby did a master's whilst working full time) but our son was a baby so I could still meet up with friends for the day and go to cafes, now he is 3 it would be a whole different game. I guess now he can have playdates and sleepovers etc, but I just wanted somebody to tell me it will be OK??

[Lochie]

Hi ole, I have done this, not a career change but getting a post grad qualification in the field I work in in order to further my career. When I complete it will have been nearly 3 years of study. I have worked 3 days a week at the same time.

I would say it is definitely do-able. It is worst at the moment as I have an exam (this afternoon eeeek!) and have spent all weekends and most of Xmas hols studying. I have a brilliant husband who has cared for our 3 yr old and 10 month old without grumble. The only thing he does occasionally say is he is 'a bit tired'. So I would definitely say the 'carer' has to be on board with what is going in and appreciate the long term gains of studying.

Also it is not intense all the time. There are periods I can not study so much. It is dependent on assignment due dates and exam dates. So there will be times you are not needed as much.

I think as carer you need to be resourceful too and find things to do at weekends with kids to take up the whole day.

I would defo say it's worth it.it is very hard during the high study periods and if kids are poorly as usually you need two hands on deck but I think if you can see the long term gains you should both go for it.

Good luck

[Ole]

Thanks Lochie, and good luck for your exam today!

[Pugwash]

I changed careers at 40 and had a 4 year old and 17 year old. 3 years University for degree - travelling from ED to Barking, then 2 years post graduate at Goldsmiths College to get a professional qualification. Also had a hubby with a disability to care for who was in and out of work. Did much of my essay writing late night and early morning. A few years ago I had to update my professional qualification by taking further long distance studying with University of Bournmouth. That was far harder than the 5 years at Uni as was working full time, and getting much older and out of practice studying. My 40 year old daughter is just finishing a second degree as an OT, she started when youngest child went to school, worked part time when she could, took a year out when a close relative had a stroke and eventually died. Worked full time in an OT related agency job, returned to resit her 3rd year last April and is one assignment away of completing course. Frequently drove down to college 30 odd miles away at weekends to study in library and left partner to care for 2 kids. Only way could get assignments done in peace and quiet.

[Ole]

That is amazing,(and very inspiring!)