4 year old climbing in to bed

[oopsithinkthatwasme]

Hello

I'm sure this thread has come up before but how have people managed children getting into bed every night. My son has had access since he was 2.5 yrs, but in the last 6 months he's found it hard to get back to sleep again and everyone is getting very tired and grouchy.

Sticker charts hold little interest, and gifts don't work either. Taking him back to his own bed obviously works but it feels like it never ends as he gets up over and over. Plus, he starts crying and saying he's scared which then may wake his younger brother (and is just hard!).

I know I've bought this issue on myself and have ruled out almost all the obvious solutions, but tips appreciated.

Thank you

Kate

[Ole]

we have had this too and we have gone through the following:

1. get him a bedside table and little bedside lamp and allow him a few minutes to 'read' a book by himself after we have done the bedtime reading to him before switching the light off.

2. putting some soft toys at the foot of his bed and encouraging him to go back to bed because 'he needs to look after his babies and the babies will miss you'

3. putting a nightlight in his bedroom and keeping the corridor light on until he is asleep (this will only work if he is used to sleeping with his bedroom door open though)

4. making a big fuss about how he is a big boy with his own big boy bed etc. If he says he is scared ask him what he is scared off and spend time explaining the fear away. I do this with my son all the time and half the time he is not actually scared of anything.

5. when all else fails i tell him that if he is that unhappy that he does not want to go back to his own bed I tell him I might as well turn half his bedroom into mummy's study so that at least one of us can enjoy the room. That one works wonders and sends him back to his bed! (esp when he tries to get into bed with us in the middle of the night)

[oopsithinkthatwasme]

that's brillaint. thanks for all that. looks like i can't avoid sleeplessness, but these are startegies I hadn't thought of.

[Fuschia]

Put a little mattress in your bedroom floor and tell him he can come in and sleep in it if he needs you, but please be like a mouse and don't wake you

[alieh]

We usually try to go in with him rather than him coming in with us - could you put a small mattress in there for you for a short time? People seem to have good luck with that gradual withdrawal approach - so you say you'll sleep on the mattress right beside his bed for a week, then you say you're moving your mattress to the door for a week, then you say you're moving the mattress into the hall for a week, etc. etc. Might be uncomfortable for you in the short term but could help ease the transition?

We are lucky that our 4 year old mostly likes his space so it is quite rare for him to want to sleep in our bed, and the phases where we go in with him are short-lived. Maybe a few days and then he seems to get over whatever was bothering him.

Or the mattress in your room sounds a good option too!

I think they do have a lot of genuine fears at this age so I try to be comforting, but also consistent.

[oopsithinkthatwasme]

I'm weighing up options. Tried mattress in his bedroom but like a scarf he creeps in to that repetitively too! It can make me quite cross. Thanks for moral support x

[canela]

we have had this problem on and off. 6 years now and only every now and then - so it does get better!

our son said he got scared from the shadows, so we got a night light, and made the room as cosy as possible. he really wanted to stay in it, and got upset himself that he couldn't quite do it. i think it's worth finding out as much as possible why he doesn't want to sleep alone. my sis' little girl was really only doing it out of habit and the incentive of a sticker chart was perfect for her. because my son was actually scared, it took a bit more patience.

we found the change came when his sister was a bit bigger and we let them share a bed rather than sleep in separate. no more night walking.....

i'm hoping to wean him onto the cat.