Wedding speech

[RosieH]

Unwritten.

The wedding's Saturday.

Help me.

[Otta]

Who's the bride to you? Eventa that hapoened on that date... Apparently the Barbie Doll made her debut on March 9th, sueely there's some comedy there.

[Salsaboy]

Start off by saying 'can the people in the cheap seats hear me?' aiming it towards the back of the room.

[Help-Ma-Boab]

Unsurprisingly there is a rose named after *insert brides name*. Doesn't work well in beds and is at its best up against the wall...*grooms name* is a lucky man

Actually, on second thoughts!

ETA: Been Best Man 3 times, best advice I got, keep it short, 5 to 7 mins...

I end with, *grooms name* thinks the world of *brides name* and tonight he is going to be on top of the world...not too risqu?, but guess that depends on the audience.

[Mick Mac]

Rosie. Are you sure you are the bestman for the job ?

[the-e-dealer]

Hide in thE Cabbage patch with the Grrom!

[RosieH]

Ooh, Otta, that's good.

The bride's my best friend - 30 years' worth of material - so far, so good. But I need to write it about the bride AND groom, and I lack anecdotes, and one bit that I had planned, I found out the groom's including in his speech, and now the fear's got me.

I'm doomed.

[RosieH]

Oh my, the Confetti website suggests I might want to use some of the following props:

a revolving bow tie

clown feet

a whistle

a clown nose

[WorkingMummy]

Can you follow Otta's advice re starting out talking about what she means to you, then go on to say what (from what you have witnessed) he means to her. Maybe talk about the moment YOU first realised that this was it for HER, and what that meant to you. Hardly anyone does this in wedding speeches. I saw it done once and it was very powerful and moving, especially as the person was quite matter of fact about it. She kept it very real.

And keep it short. Help-Ma-Boab is completely right that this is a wise move.

[Otta]

I've done a few and basically start with taking the piss and end soppy saying they're both lucky.

I got lucky when a friend got married on maundy Thursday, and I compared the wedding to the last supper.

And you still have my hat from that wedding!

[Loz]

Just get really pissed and wing it. What could possibly go wrong?

[RosieH]

Otta Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> And you still have my hat from that wedding!

Er, yeah, not so much. Never, ever give a drunk woman your hat. And I'm going to put that in my speech! (am hoping that putting something on the EDF's a bit like going to confession, and I'm hereby absolved of my crimes...)

Help-ma-Boab - got any kilt jokes?

Am still wrestling with a gag about pianists.

[maxxi]

Do the old self-deprecation number-

"I was so desperate for ideas that I asked for suggestions on a public forum... these were some of them..."

-then read out whatever madness appears on here over the next few days. You can disown it all and join in the mockery/shock at the more outlandish.

That'll use up enough time for you to finish with your strongest best-mate material and the one about the bridegroom and the radish.

[Help-Ma-Boab]

Not really RosieH. You probably know the old one, "What's worn under your kilt"...."Nothing, it's all in fine working order"

Good luck and enjoy the day.

-------------------------------------------------------

> Otta Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

>

> > And you still have my hat from that wedding!

>

> Er, yeah, not so much. Never, ever give a drunk

> woman your hat. And I'm going to put that in my

> speech! (am hoping that putting something on the

> EDF's a bit like going to confession, and I'm

> hereby absolved of my crimes...)

>

> Help-ma-Boab - got any kilt jokes?

>

> Am still wrestling with a gag about pianists.

[El Pibe]

Lessons learnt

1st time, don't rehearse and memorise, have a bit of paper in front of you

2nd time, take the piss out of them but be nice, getting pissed helps (but don't overdo it)

3rd time, don't ever ever ever wing it

4th time, don't follow otta and his last supper/mary magdalene speech, but if you do, just be soppy

5th time, relax and enjoy.

and above all, keep it short, people love to laugh at a piss take and go awww at a soppy bit, but most of all they want to go to the toilet and quaff another pint/glass of wine.

I've the first draft text of my last one around if you want it.

And don't worry my last two I wrote on the morning of the wedding, nothing like pressure to get the juices flowing.

[seemster]

What were her favourite films? Must be some funny or soppy scenes that you watched together when you were young and dreaming of love that you can refer to, and make some connection to the groom. Is he the Patrick Swizzle to her Jennifer Grey? The Judd Nelson to her Molly Ringwald? The Tom Cruise to her Kelly Mcwhateverhernamewas?

[Otta]

I tend to prepare a skeleton of what I want to cover, and the fleshing out tends to be winging it.

[El Pibe]

sorry otta, almost let your clark kent secret identity slip there.

[Otta]

Haha.

[Annette Curtain]

Only 3 sleeps to go Rosie...!

http://bubbleshealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Tired-eyes.png

[Rhinestone Cowboy]

couple lines from mine...

This is the second time I have made a speech and it?s true to say that it is nerve racking. I only feel slightly better knowing that I am not the only person in the room who is feeling apprehensive, but then again she has just married my brother

What can you say about a man who came from humble beginnings, a man who has risen to the top of his profession based solely on intelligence, grit and the willpower to push on where others have fallen?

A man who is beginning to distinguish himself at the highest level amongst his peers, and where none can say a bad word against him?

But enough about me, what I am really here for is to talk about Ian.

Now Ian truly is a lucky man today marrying Leanne, she is a wonderful lady who deserves a good husband ? so I think Ian has done a fantastic job at marrying her before she had a chance to find one.

There?s nothing I wouldn?t do for Ian, likewise there?s nothing Ian wouldn?t' do for me, in fact we spent most of our time doing nothing for each other.

[legalbeagle]

"Ladies and Gentlemen

I want to start by raising a glass to the most important people of the day, without whom none of us would be here. Now the serious part of the day is over I hope to spend lots more time with them and I know you all do too. So please raise you glasses as I give you.......

The bar staff!"

You can have that one for free. You're welcome.

[Also available for Christenings and Bar Mitzvahs]

[El Pibe]

I don't suppose you can do the queen mum one these days, at least not without a particularly disturbing implication about it...

[RosieH]

Just a little note to say thanks for all the tips and advice.

Those of you who know me will be unsurprised to learn that I was a wow.

Those of you who don't will think me a right w@nker.

I can disagree with neither of those viewpoints.