The Apprentice

[*Bob*]

I dunno, Pibe.

So iTunes does work on the PC then?

[David A]

It is, and always has been, X Factor with a Business Studies OND or BGT in its first grown-up suit. Watching delusional buffoons making prize tits out of themselves in front of a pantomime twat seems to be what UK viewers want.

Even as an ex TV buyer at an ad agency I'm at a loss to understand why, but as long as people realise that its fine.

The problem for me is that, like X Factor or BGT, some young people genuinely see the contestants as something to aspire to.

One of the contestants referred to herself as a 'Cosmetics Entrepreneur', when in reality she'd probably been an Avon lady in her summer holidays.

The Welsh one, who makes me think Ray Reardon was still putting it about in the Valleys twenty-odd years ago, describes himself as company director. Bollocks, sunshine, you're a git.

I honestly think its down to 'The Apprentice' that I've had to deal with graduate interviewees who won't explain just how proficient they are with Excel, but can't wait to tell you how they have excellent negotiating skills and strategic vision.

Like the contestants on the show, they lack the most basic maths, communication skills or self-awareness and have replaced them with a fancy shirt, management-speak and a Twitter account.

If the BBC wanted to make a show which reflected the true nature of the younger generation's destiny they should re-christen the show 'The Apprenticeship' and make science post-grads from UMIST and Imperial wrestle, Greco-Roman style, for the chance to train as a plumber.

[*Bob*]

David A Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> 'The Apprenticeship' and make science post-grads from

> UMIST and Imperial wrestle, Greco-Roman style, for

> the chance to train as a plumber.

I'd pitch it. It's a winner.

[David A]

Already have *Bob*.

If I can get Nick Grimshaw or Russell Howard on board it'll be nailed on at BBC3.

[*Bob*]

Working titles of some shows I worked on that never made it to transmission:

"Twelve Angry Celebrities"

"The Gay Team"

"Celebrities on Horses"

[El Pibe]

Too much busineeze on a cv and it's gone straight in the bin.

In interviews I use the unorthodox technique of asking a mildly challenging technical question specific to the, frankly technical, role.

90% failure rate sadly, but it does sort the wheat from the gits.

[David A]

*Bob* wrote

Working titles of some shows I worked on that never made it to transmission:

"Twelve Angry Celebrities"

"The Gay Team"

"Celebrities on Horses"

*****

The problem you've got there, *Bob*, is that there's not enough Russell Howard in there for the BBC3 commissioning editors. Here's a few I'm quite confident about.

"Russell Howard's Russells". From Grant to Brand, and Kane to the titular Howard, Russell Howard discovers what makes witless tits called Russell think they can make a living making people laugh.

"Russell Howard's Howerd". Lazy-eyed Russell looks back on the career of legendary British funny-man Frankie Howerd.

"Russell Howard: The Boss I'd Get!". The cross-eyed 'comedian' tells us what sort of boss he'd like when people see through his act and he has to get a real job.

"Russell Howard's Rustle". Live coverage of Howard's twitching, twisted body lying under a pile of autumn leaves after a particularly vicious hammer attack.

[Mick Mac]

The Apprentice 2013: Dr Leah Totton in long-term romance with Celtic goalie Fraser Forster

He won't drop her in a hurry.

[youandiaredominoes]

Sugar is a business man and likes the look of the margins but I think Dr Totton has not even completed her two year junior doctor training.

[the-e-dealer]

Yes shes a bit young to be fully qualified.